


I'll Be Here

by MrsEclipse9856



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Female James T. Kirk, Post-Narada
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-05
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-03-10 14:19:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 79,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3293555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsEclipse9856/pseuds/MrsEclipse9856
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They always seemed to be keeping an eye on each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

"Go away, Jim. I don't need your help," Chris told his protégé. Jim Kirk, the beautiful, brilliant girl that he recruited from a bar in Iowa three years ago was trying not to laugh at him. She gave him a look that told Chris that she knew better. After the incident with the Narada, moving on his own power was difficult. "You're so stubborn."

Nero, the crazy Romulan who tortured him and killed Jim's father twenty-five years ago, attached a slug to Chris' spine to get Earth's defense codes. Getting the damn thing out of him was the easy part, dealing with the damage it left behind was the hard part.

Jim rolled her eyes at him and leaned against the open door, "Pot, kettle. Look, I got it, you don't _need_ my help, but I'm not going anywhere. Bones would kill me if you hurt yourself and, I hate to break it to you, but he's scarier than you are." He couldn't contain the chuckle that her reply brought.

Her best friend, Doctor Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, was his doctor and hers. He was grateful for the man that worked a miracle on him but the southern doctor could be a bit much. If there was anything in the universe that could stop the overactive woman dead in her tracks, it was McCoy and a hypo.

"Are you really gonna watch me take a bath?" he asked.

She shrugged, "Like I've never seen a naked man before, Chris. But if it makes you feel better, I'll cover my eyes." Jim put a hand over her face and Chris shook his head.

"How the hell did I get stuck with you?" he chuckled.

"Stuck? You're the one that talked me into joining Starfleet in the first place. Besides, I'm just returning the favor. Or did you really think that I didn't notice that you were in my hospital room the last time I got hurt?"

At the end of her second year at the academy, Jim was part of a training exercise that went sideways when the ship she was on, the Farragut, was attacked. She helped save the ship but she was hurt badly and collapsed as soon as the adrenaline wore off. The medical staff had to put her in a coma for two days and she spent a week in the hospital after that. Chris didn't tell her, but he was in her room everyday to check on her.

"McCoy told you?" he asked as he lowered himself into the water.

"Nope. You just did."

He really should've seen that coming, "Smartass. You can move your hand."

"Not shy anymore?" Jim asked with a smirk. Sometimes, dealing with Jim was like dealing with a five year old. In all fairness, she never really got the chance to be a child so he didn't hold it against her too much.

"You're exhausting. You know that?" the captain asked.

She nodded, "Wouldn't be the first time you said that to me. I really am just trying to help. You're the person who taught me that it was okay to depend on someone else. Take your own advice for a change."

Jim's been taking care of herself since she was a kid. Her father, Lieutenant Commander George Kirk, died the day she was born. Her mother, now Commander Winona Rice, was always off-planet. Her uncle, her mother's brother Frank, ignored her. She was too smart to go to normal school, so she taught herself. Then, her brother ran away when she was eleven.

By then, she learned that the only person who would look out for her was herself. Jim's self-sufficiency was the only thing to save her life when she was thirteen. She went to visit her uncle, the other James Kirk, on Tarsus Four a few weeks before half of the colony was massacred by it's governor, the older Jim was among the causalities.

Chris didn't know the specifics, just that she saved a bunch of kids and sent the S.O.S. to Starfleet. When they were rescued, Jim was angry and bitter and she had every right to be. She disappeared as soon as Starfleet got her back to Earth. Turns out, she hopped a transport to Banea and attended the Banean Engineering Institute before she went to the Cochrane Institute of Alpha Centauri to study warp propulsion, starship design and transporter technology.

Their fateful meeting in that bar at the Riverside Shipyard was the first time someone actually cared enough about her to challenge her. He did his dissertation on the USS Kelvin and on George Kirk. He never expected to meet the hero's daughter, let alone, break up a bar fight that she was in. He couldn't believe it when the bartender told him who she was.

Chris learned that some of what he said to her that night was all kinds of wrong but she didn't seem to mind, as he's learned over the last few years, people read her wrong all the time. She told him that it was the look in his eyes, concern and curiosity mixed with determination, that convinced her to enlist despite her completely justified disdain of Starfleet.

From her first day at the academy, Chris looked out for the rebellious woman. In the beginning, it was because she had no one else. Her mother didn't want anything to do with her, still doesn't. And Jim has no clue where her brother is, or if he's even alive. Chris found himself inviting the blonde to hang out at his cabin during holidays or forcing her to grab dinner with him. Eventually, it turned into a friendship.

As careful as he was, people thought they were sleeping with each other, it was even brought before Barnett once. Jim laughed the whole thing off; she told the admiral that while she would do something that dumb, Chris wasn't that kind of person. As much as he would like to agree with her, a part of him thought about it, about her.

Jim was beautiful; she was a mix of the best of her parents' features. Long honey blonde hair that fell like spun gold over her shoulders, cerulean blue eyes that could see right through you, full lips that were probably as soft as they looked and, as he learned when she helped teach his hand-to-hand classes, she was in impeccable shape. Chris had to cut that thought off before his body decided to take the option away from him.

Chris finished his bath and looked over at Jim, she was sitting on the hall floor with her head against the wall and her eyes closed. He knew she wasn't asleep but she was exhausted; she saved the world and she hasn't had more than a few minutes to herself since.

"Jim."

Her bright blue eyes opened, "Yea?"

"You wanna help me up?" he asked.

"Thought you didn't need my help," she asked with a smile as she pushed herself to her feet. Chris gave her a looked but he wasn't about to admit that getting in was a lot easier than getting out. Jim grabbed a towel on her way to him and offered Chris her help.

"I might've lied. Happy?"

A look crossed her face but it was gone before he could tell what it was, "No. I'm not happy."

"Jim?" Chris glanced at her as she helped him to his bedroom.

"Hmm?"

He touched her face so that she would look at him, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Jim said with a shake of her head.

"I call bullshit, kid," he sighed. He knew she rolled her eyes, even though her back was to him. She handed him some clothes for him to sleep in.

"Nothing's wrong, Chris. I'm borrowing a shirt," she said quietly. The one she was wearing was wet thanks to him. Jim pulled her gray tank top over her head, Chris couldn't help but look at her flat stomach and the perfect breasts that were covered by light green lace, as she pulled one of his old academy t-shirts onto her smaller frame.

Jim didn't offer to help him get dressed, she walked into the bathroom to straighten it up for him. It took him longer than it should've but he managed to get dressed without too much trouble before settling himself in his wheelchair. "I'm good."

"You want me to make you something to eat?" she asked when she walked back into the room. Something was bothering the hell out of her and while most people couldn't –or wouldn't- see it, he had her pegged.

Chris looked at her, "I'm not hungry. What I want is for you to tell me what's wrong. I don't need your pity, Jim. If you got something to say, just say it."

"I don't pity you, Chris. I…"

"You what?" he asked.

"I wasn't fast enough," she said, eyes on her boots. "You're in that damn chair because I wasn't fast enough." Of course, she was blaming herself; she thought that she should've been able to prevent all of this.

He sighed, "It's not your…"

"Don't," she glared at him. Chris could see every emotion she was trying to bury in that one look. "Don't give me that 'it's not your fault' bullshit. I wasn't fast enough. If I had figured it out sooner or got Spock to listen... maybe Vulcan would still be there. Maybe you would be on your feet and not in that chair."

Chris tugged on her arm until she was sitting on his lap. Jim leaned her head on his shoulder and let out something that sounded like a sob and a sigh. He knew that she needed the contact but part of him knew that this wasn't the best idea. She felt so right in his arms, like she should've been there years ago.

He took a deep breath, "Jim, it's not your fault. You had no way to know that Nero would pop up. You had no way of knowing what he would do to Vulcan or me. I knew what I was walking into when I made the choice to go. Between us, I would've left you in command if I could've… maybe that's my own fault. I'm just glad you showed up. I knew you would come for me."

That was an understatement. He wasn't surprised when she shot the Romulans guarding him on the Narada. She knows what it's like to be left behind, she wouldn't do that to anyone if she could help it, especially him.

"That doesn't change the fact that you're hurt. You and Bones are the only people who give a damn about me and I couldn't get to you before... this," she made a motion to his chair. "With everything goin' on... I'm just so tired of fighting, Chris."

While it was obvious that she was physically exhausted, he knew that she meant mentally and emotionally too. Jim hasn't had the time to process what all this means because she was too busy taking care of everyone and everything. She needed a break and taking care of him was not it.

"I'm going to bed and so are you."

"I'll get out of your hair," she sighed.

He chuckled, "No, you are gonna take off your boots and jeans and you're gonna get in the damn bed, Jim. I know you, if you leave, you'll end up doing something on that long ass to-do list in your head. What you really need is sleep." Jim sighed in defeat and did as he asked after she helped him get into bed. The fact that she didn't argue with him told Chris just how tired she was.

She crawled into bed next to him, "Happy?"

"I will be when you get some sleep," he touched her cheek.

"Uh huh. I think you just wanted to get me into bed with you," Jim chuckled. At least her humor was back. Fortunately, or unfortunately, it was kind of true, but he wasn't gonna tell her that.

"Go to sleep, Jim."

"Okay. Night, Chris."

As tired as he was, Chris couldn't sleep; he couldn't turn his brain off. His ship was still a mess… if it was even his ship anymore. The brass did their debriefs and now it was a waiting game, not just for him but for Jim and a lot of the crew too. The Narada took out eighty percent of the third and fourth year cadets, Jim and McCoy's classmates. Lives that were far too young to be gone so soon. Maybe it was a little selfish but he was happy that Jim wasn't killed out there.

Chris studied the woman attempting to sleep next to him; Jim looked more her age like this, it was like the weight of the world wasn't resting on her shoulders. He didn't know if she did it on purpose but her whole body was pressed along his side and her arm was around his waist.

He lightly ran his fingers over the healing abrasions next to her eye and the bruise on her neck. She could've had them run under the dermal regenerator but Jim refused, she said that they weren't bad enough to waste 'some overworked medical officer's time.' He expected as much from her; she hated medical and the only doctor she listens to is McCoy.

Jim mumbled against his shoulder, "You're thinking really loud. Go to sleep."

"Can't."

"Restless?" she asked, her eyes blinked open.

He nodded, "Something like that."

"Been there, done that. Wanna talk about what's keeping you awake?" Jim asked. Hates to talk about herself but she was always willing to listen when someone -mostly him and McCoy- needed an ear.

Chris looked at her, "Honestly? You."

"What about me?" she asked.

"Nothing, I'm just being a worried old man."

"You're not old," Jim chuckled. "And you don't need to worry about me."

"I know I don't _need_ to be worried about you but I am. You're taking care of me but who's taking care of you. McCoy's on leave."

She looked at him, "I'm fine, Chris. I told Bones to go see his family. I just need a little time to let this whole thing settle. I keep thinking about my father. I wonder what he'd think about all this. I gotta wrap my head around the fact that I killed his murderer."

"Nobody is expecting you to have all the answers, Jim," Chris said as he ran his fingers through her hair. They were way past appropriate at this point.

"Maybe I want the answers," she said with a quiet laugh. "I've spent my whole life figuring it all out by myself… maybe I want someone to give me the answers."

"I know the feeling."

Jim's eyes found his in the dark, "You got an answer or two?"

"I wish," he shook his head. "I'm trapped in my own body at the moment. If I had answers, I'd use 'em."

"'If I had answers, I'd use 'em.' I'm stealing that for the next time I get pulled in to see the brass," she laughed.

He nodded, "Go for it."

They were quiet for a few minutes until Jim spoke, "What else is on your mind, Chris?"

"You know, it's scary how well you know me."

"It's a gift and you're stalling," she shrugged. "Whatever you tell me, you know I won't tell anyone."

He was never worried about that, what scared him was what she'd think about his more than friendly thoughts about her.

"I… I…" He could command a ship with no problem but this infuriating woman made him stutter.

"I saw you checking me out earlier, Chris. Can't you just say 'Hey, Jim, I wanna bang ya'?"

Chris laughed into the dark room, "I would never phrase it like that. Besides, I doubt that it would go over well. I mean, what would you want with a crippled old man?"

Jim didn't say anything before she shifted and pulled him into a kiss that was both tender and urgent. Chris was stunned for a few seconds as the feeling of Jim's lips and the taste of her overwhelmed him. Her lips were as soft as he thought they'd be and she tasted like apples. He had to kiss her back. She touched his face, almost like she couldn't believe she was here with him. When they pulled away to breathe, she rested her forehead against his.

"One, you aren't crippled, all this is temporary," she whispered. "Two, you're only fourteen years older than me, which is not old. And three, did you ever consider that I might be open to the idea?"

No, he honestly never considered that. Jim could have anyone she wanted and many have tried. He didn't notice it before but now that he was thinking about it, Jim didn't really date her classmates, she dated people who were a little older than her, who were mentally on her level.

"I've never really thought about it, Jim," he said. It didn't sound convincing to his own ears and apparently not to hers either.

She sighed, "Liar." Jim carefully straddled his hips and kissed him again. This was not how Chris pictured this happening.

"Jim, I… We…"

"...Have wanted to do this for years. I know that there were a bunch of reasons for us not to but they aren't really valid anymore. Even if they were, I don't really care. You have two options, Chris. You can tell me I'm wrong or you can shut up and kiss me."

Chris looked at her, "You're sure?"

"Yes," Jim said with one of those beautiful smiles of hers. Whatever reservation he might've had went right out the window. Chris gripped her hip with one hand and tangled the other in her hair before he pulled her into a kiss.

Jim's hands roaming under his shirt and her body was pressed against him in a way that was torture. They were both vibrating with barely controlled need. He grabbed the hem of her borrowed shirt and pulled it over her head. He stared at her, drinking her in. Some part of him should've registered that she'd taken her bra off before bed but he wasn't actually paying attention earlier.

Chris had to touch her. He ran his fingers down her slender neck, over her collarbone and to her breasts, drawing a moan from Jim, "Chris." He pulled her closer and wrapped his mouth around one of her nipples, she rocked against him and he almost lost his damn mind. Jim pulled back and –gently- pulled his shirt off, tossing it on the floor. Jim ran her hands over his chest, dropping kisses as she went.

She pressed a kiss to his hip as she helped him get the rest of his clothes off, then she slipped off her sexy little blue panties.

Jim made a move to touch him and Chris grabbed her wrist, "Better not."

"Rain check?" she asked.

He nodded, "Yeah." If she touched him now, he was gonna lose his very tenuous control. Jim straddled him again; he held her hips as she slid onto him. "Oh, fuck."

Chris watched Jim suck in a deep breath before she started to move. He couldn't think of anything that came close to the feel of Jim wrapped around him, she was so warm, tight and wet. His hands roamed her skin as she moved and Chris wished that they hadn't waited so damn long. Jim rolled her hips and Chris groaned, "Jim."

"Somebody likes that," she chuckled against his lips.

"Are you teasing me?"

Jim nodded, "Maybe a little." Chris smirked and took over, grabbing her hips and changing the angle. His legs weren't useless, just weak and all he needed was a little leverage. "Oh, shit," Jim muttered, breathlessly. She rested her hands on his chest as they moved together, faster and harder. He had her and she knew it, "Chris."

She arched her back and he sat up to press kisses along her collarbone and under her jaw. He watched in awe as she completely fell apart. She tightened around him and Chris couldn't stop himself from following her over the ledge.

For a few minutes, they didn't move or say anything. Jim broke the silence when she whispered against his chest, "I'm not crushing you, am I?"

"Not even a little," he said with a quiet laugh.

She sighed, "We should've done this years ago."

"No. If we had, I don't think it would've been anything more than me sneaking you around campus so people didn't hold it against you," Chris told her before he pressed a kiss on the top of her head.

"I don't think I would've cared. Some people are worth it."

He ran his fingers through her hair, "It's not that you aren't worth it, Jim. I just know that you had to deal with enough because of your parents. I didn't want everything you did to get called into question because of me. I sure as hell didn't want to have to fight to get you on the Enterprise."

"I can't wait until we get her back. She one hell of a ship, Chris."

"I don't think they're gonna give her back to me," he sighed. Chris had hoped but he knew that Scotty, Spock, Chekov and Jim would have the ship fixed before McCoy had him back on his feet.

"I hope you're wrong. If they give her to someone else, I'll keep an eye on her for you," Jim whispered.

"I know you will." He looked at the woman sprawled across his chest as her eyes fluttered closed. Chris pulled the covers over them both and wrapped his arms around her. He had a feeling that his replacement was laying in his arms.

* * *

"This assembly calls Captain James Tiara Kirk," his friend, Admiral Richard Barnett said to the assembled officers. Chris watched Jim as she descended the stairs in the auditorium and stood in front of Richard. The admiral looked at her, "Your inspirational valor and supreme dedication to your comrades is in keeping with the highest traditions of service and reflects utmost credit to yourself, your crew and the Federation. It is my honor to award you with this commendation." Everyone watched as Barnett pinned the Medal of Valor on Jim's uniform. "By Starfleet Order two-eight-four-five-five, you are hereby directed to report to Rear Admiral Christopher Pike, USS Enterprise, for duty as his relief."

He wished that they would let him stand for this but McCoy thought it was too much strain on his legs. Jim stood in front of him, "I relieve you, sir."

"I am relieved," he said with a smile. No truer words have ever been spoken. He was relieved that his ship was in good hands, even though he wanted to be on the Enterprise with her. Chris had every faith that she'd do an amazing job out in the black and he hoped that he got the chance to see it.

She smiled and held her hand out to him, "Thank you, sir."

"Congratulations, Captain," he clasped her smaller hand in his. "I'm proud of you, Jim."

"I would hope so, this is all your fault," she chuckled.

"You know, if you ever need me, I'll be here."

Jim smiled, "I know."


	2. Two

He really shouldn't have been surprised that she was in his apartment. She had the code to the door, and even if she didn't, she could've hacked it anyway. Dressed in dark jeans and a loose green tank top with her long hair in a messy ponytail, she looked nothing like the commanding officer she was while she slept on his couch. He sat on the coffee table and watched her for a few minutes.

"It's creepy to watch someone sleep," Jim mumbled.

"You're not asleep so…" he chuckled.

She opened her bright blue eyes, "I was until you came home. Hi."

"Hey, kid," he smiled. Chris honestly didn't know what to expect after that night eight months ago. It should be awkward but it wasn't.

"So, walking?"

"I've been good about my physical therapy," Chris smiled. "I didn't tell you, in case it didn't work. I don't really need the cane here but I use it everywhere else. If I keep working, I won't need it much longer."

"Should I save the 'I told you so' for later?"

"If you really want to," he chuckled. "What happened to your face?" He reached over and touched the cut on her lip and the bruise above her right eye.

"Gorn."

Chris raised an eyebrow, "What the hell is a 'Gorn'?"

"Big, mean, green reptile things," Jim chuckled as she sat up. "It's in my report. You didn't read it yet, did you?"

"Not yet. I have a feeling that it's a very long story," he sighed.

She laughed, "Well, that's an understatement. Tell you what, dinner's almost done, you change and I'll tell you what happened while we eat."

"Since when do I have food?" The joy of working at HQ was that he could eat at the office and most of the time, he did.

The young captain rolled her eyes, "Since I went to the market earlier. You're welcome."

"You didn't have to go shopping for me," Chris sighed.

"I was bored, it needed done and your list was on the counter," she shrugged. "Most people would just thank me and ask what was for dinner."

"Thank you, Jimmy," he smiled. "What's for dinner?"

"Meatloaf. Go change."

"Ordering me around my own apartment? What's next, kid?" he asked with a smirk.

"Who knows, I'm full of surprises." Well, that was true. Chris walked to his room to change while Jim got dinner ready. It wasn't the first time they had dinner together, though he usually cooked for her.

* * *

"So, the Gorn? Or do you wanna start from the beginning?"

Jim took a sip of her beer while they sat at the table, "I guess the beginning is the best place to start. Me and Spock were playing chess in his quarters…" The ship received a distress call from Vulcan science station Helios. They couldn't raise anyone on comms and the there was a problem that prevented transporters. Jim, Spock and Sulu went over on a shuttle.

They made their way through the badly damaged station and found Captain T'Mar, an old friend of Spock's. Jim, being Jim, launched a rescue and got everyone off the deteriorating space station before the nearby star destroyed it. Once on the Enterprise, T'Mar explained that the station was part of colonization efforts for New Vulcan, a component of the terra-forming process. It was powered down on orders from Surok, one of Spock's mentors and T'Mar's father. T'Mar didn't know why, so Jim decided to investigate; beaming to the surface with Spock and T'Mar.

On New Vulcan, they encountered colonists at Helios Base who appeared to be in some kind of trance and attacked them. Jim and Spock found Surok and the Helios Device; however, that's when the Gorn showed up. Jim and Spock fought with them and Jim got pretty banged up before they gave chase. Unfortunately, the Gorn escaped with Surok and the Helios Device requiring Enterprise to pursue.

"It's not your fault, Jim."

"I know that. You'll never guess who's fault it is. Where was I? Oh, the chase. We followed…" Jim continued. They followed the Gorn to a nearby spatial rift; however, the Gorn were through before the Enterprise could stop them. Jim wanted to give chase but there were massive casualties following the attack and McCoy talked her into going to Frontier Seventeen.

"Daniels. I hate that… prick."

"Doesn't everybody?" she smiled. "When we got to the starbase…"

They delivered McCoy and the injured to starbase Frontier Seventeen and Jim ordered the Enterprise back to New Vulcan to look for more survivors while she spoke with Commodore Daniels. They had an armed escort and their weapons were confiscated before the jerk would talk to them. As it turned out the Helios Device was built for military purposes and Daniels wanted to know if anything came through the rift.

"He knew?" Chris asked "Why am I not surprised?"

Jim chuckled, "You know he'd do something like that. Now…"

T'Mar and Surok had warned him not to turn it on but the commodore didn't listen. Daniels, begrudgingly, assigned Jim and Spock to recover the device from the Gorn because of the risk that the Helios Device posed to the Federation. The station was attacked as soon as the meeting was over by Gorn forces. Jim and Spock cleared the station's Mess Hall of enemy forces, and then they rescued McCoy, who had to lock himself in a storage room after the security officers with him were killed.

During the rescue, they learned that the Gorn were using an unknown pathogen to infect personnel. Power to the labs was restored as more Gorn beamed into the station to steal information on the Helios Device. Jim was forced to override the computer system so the Gorn couldn't get the intel. After they got to the shuttlebay to escape the devastated station, Daniels commandeered a shuttle and left the station.

"Before you ask: yes, he left us and a bunch of his officers to fight while he ran," she said. "How'd he ever make Commodore?"

"Blue falcon with connections," he told her. Blue falcon was an old military term that meant 'buddy fucker' or the guy that stabbed his comrades in the back with the higher ups to get ahead. "Please, continue."

"Okay," Jim nodded. "Weapons were failing so…" Jim and Spock made their way to the power generators to cause an energy surge that could damage the Gorn ship.

With their objective accomplished, they rescued several officers in the process and returned to the bridge to evacuate T'Mar only for her to be kidnapped by the Gorn. Spock, while engaged in hand-to-hand combat with a Gorn, beamed the thing to the Enterprise for questioning; however, he escaped and they had to chase him all over the ship before they captured him in the shuttlebay.

Spock did a mind meld and discovered that the Gorn are an extra-dimensional race of conquerors who have destroyed all opposition in their home galaxy. The wormhole created via the Helios Device opened a gateway to their galaxy and allowed them entry into Federation territory. This led them to New Vulcan. They captured Surok for more information about the device but when they learned he had no knowledge of the device, they killed him and kidnapped T'Mar.

Jim ordered her ship through the rift and led an away team consisting of herself, Spock, McCoy and Sulu to the surface, leaving Chekov in command of the Enterprise with orders to leave in twenty-four hours.

"You left the wiz-kid in charge?"

She nodded, "The only person on the ship smarter than Chekov is Spock and he was with me. The kid knows what he's doing."

"You call him a kid," Chris chuckled.

"You call me a kid and I'm a captain," Jim smirked. She had a point. "Anyway, we got shot down and…"

After crash landing their shuttle, the away team encountered the native inhabitants of the world called the Lymax, the majority were captured and imprisoned. With too few options, Jim and Spock skydived to the base of the Gorn outpost to destroy the defensive weapons. After disabling it, they called in an airstrike from the Enterprise and destroyed the anti-aircraft turret.

They made their way into the Gorn Complex to find T'Mar, though they discovered that the native population is being used for experimentation and Gorn slave labor. They eventually located Daniels, who blamed Jim for what happened, but he is killed by the Gorn shortly after that.

"I would never wish death on someone but…" Chris said.

Jim laughed, "He had it coming. We were captured after that. Ambush."

They were forced to fight several waves of creatures in the arena for the amusement of the Gorn Commander. After defeating the Gorn Champion, Spock was infected with the Gorn pathogen and they were forced to fight to the death. Luckily, McCoy and Sulu showed up with the antidote in the repaired shuttle and saved their asses. They high-tailed it back to the ship after watching the Gorn Commander's warship depart the surface.

While on approach to the Enterprise, they discovered that the ship is under heavy Gorn attack and had to board the ship via a space jump. When safely aboard the invaded vessel, they beamed Sulu and McCoy aboard with orders to help clear the infection. After getting in touch with Scotty, the pair secured Engineering and provided cover for Keenser as he restored the warp core.

Power back online, they proceeded to sickbay and helped McCoy secure the room before they released the vaccine into the environmental system. Fighting through their own personnel, Jim and Spock restored power to the medbay and saved Chekov. Upon their return to sickbay, they found it overrun with Gorn after Sulu destroyed the Gorn tractor beams holding the ship. They defeated the troops before being called to the bridge by Uhura, who was being held by the Gorn they captured.

The creature demanded control over the Enterprise in exchange for Uhura's life, Jim agreed to turn over control to the Gorn. Instead of transferring control, however, she interfaced with the controls of the shuttle that Sulu and McCoy had left behind and remote piloted the vessel into the viewscreen of the ship. The Gorn were launched into space following the explosive decompression and Jim regained control over the ship.

"I wish I could say I was surprised but I'm not, that's in your playbook," he laughed.

"You taught me to think outside the box," she pointed out.

"Do you even have a box?" Chris asked.

She playfully shrugged, "Probably not."

"You went after the leader's ship." It wasn't a question, he knew Jim.

"Of course we did," she nodded.

Jim launched a rescue mission to the Gorn ship to rescue T'Mar and recover the Helios Device. After a space jump to the enemy ship, they infiltrated the vessel's double hull and began their search. Their investigation revealed that the Gorn use genetic engineering in their species and in those that they conquer. Their investigation was cut short when Sulu informed them that Enterprise is taking massive damage and her shields are down to thirty percent.

Jim and Spock destroyed the tactical computer core just as the Helios Device was reactivated. A new rift opened with more Gorn vessels on approach. The duo destroyed the Helios Device, Spock killed the Gorn Commander and Jim rescued T'Mar before they all beamed back to the Enterprise. They got to our side of the rift before it closed.

"That's all in your report?"

Jim thought about it, "Yea. I needed something to do while I was in medical. You know how Bones is."

"I do," he chuckled. "Anything else I should know?" She shook her head, "That's all I got, two days of hell and now some repairs for our girl."

"And some rest for her captain," he said, giving her a once over.

"I'm fine."

Chris rolled his eyes, "No you're not. You're exhausted."

"The last time you said that…"

"This isn't an invitation, kid," he said.

Jim's beautiful blue eyes flickered up to meet his gray, "What if I want it to be?" He knew she was dead serious. The question lingered before he made a decision.

"Get some sleep, Jim. If you feel the same way tomorrow, then we'll see."

"Really? I'm a genius that can command a starship while tired but this is beyond my mental capacity? Wow."

"You and I both know that there are too many emotions here for us to just hop into bed every time we see each other and pretend that it's nothing. You're tired and, while you aren't drunk, you have been drinking. Now, go to bed." She motioned to the dishes on the counter. Chris shook his head, "I got 'em. Go."

Jim sighed before she stood from her chair, "Goodnight, Chris."

* * *

Chris heard Jim the moment she left the apartment in the morning. If it was any other person on any other day, he wouldn't have thought much about it but Jim was… Jim. He usually knew what she was thinking but he wasn't sure he wanted to know right now. Chris saw through her poker face last night and he knew she felt rejected. If he was being honest, he wanted to pull her into his arms but the last time he did that… It shouldn't have happened that way and if they were stronger, it wouldn't have.

He glanced at the chronometer, it was a little earlier than he usually got up but he knew he wasn't going back to sleep. Chris got out of bed and did his daily therapy assignment before taking a shower. He got dressed and went to make some coffee; he was in the kitchen when Jim came back. She was wearing tight black running pants, a black running jacket with command gold trim over a gray and black Enterprise crew t-shirt and black running shoes. Jim was always in good shape but other than hitting the mats, he's never seen her work out.

"Since when do you run?"

Jim shrugged, "A little while." She wasn't telling him something.

"Spill the beans, kid," he said.

"You really want me to tell you?"

"I asked," he sighed.

"Six months. It's stress relief since there is limited alcohol and no sex on the ship. Spock doesn't mind sparring with me but I couldn't keep beating up my security officers because it was pissing Bones off. Chekov suggested running. I'm at twelve miles a day."

He gave her a look, "I didn't know that sex wasn't allowed on a ship."

"It's my rule for myself. Fucking my crew is a nonstarter. I have enough hurtles being a woman and a Kirk, I don't need to add slut to the list." Sadly, it was a double standard that was still going strong. If a man slept around it was okay but if a woman slept with just a few people, she was seen as easy. "Not like it matters. The person I want isn't on the ship. I pretty sure he doesn't want me anyway. I'm gonna go take a shower," she muttered all but the last part to herself.

"Who?" he asked. What idiot wouldn't want her, Jim's amazing. Jim didn't say anything as she tried to pass him. Chris caught her arm and pinned her between his body and the counter, "Who?"

"Chris, move," she glared at him.

"Answer me and I will," he could see the conflict in her eyes before she rolled them.

"What is with you? Who I like is none of your business," she said. That was mostly true.

"You weren't thinking about that last night."

"Are you sure I wasn't? I don't… I… Just drop it, Chris." Realization hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Me?"

He knew he was right when she refused to meet his eyes, "You done? Can I go, now?"

"Why didn't you say anything?" Chris asked as he ran his hand though his hair.

"You do know who you're talking to, right?" Jim asked. "Go to work." She pushed past him to go take her shower.

For someone so smart, he felt like an idiot. With most stuff, Jim is direct but her _real_ feelings are something she never really shows. There were glimpses, of course, but she kept everything close to the vest, she had to. It was always funny to him when people referred to her as emotional because Jim is the queen of deflecting and avoidance when it came to herself. There was no way he was going anywhere. Not until they had this out.

* * *

"I was wondering how long you were gonna hide in there."

Jim looked at him, "I wasn't aware that I was hiding, you're supposed to be at the office."

"I decided to take a day," he said with a shrug.

"Have fun with that," Jim said as she moved towards the door but he wasn't gonna let her go that easily.

"You're such a wimp."

She stopped, "Yea, well, I can't be brave all the time. You should know that."

"I do. I also know that you'll avoid me until the Enterprise leaves if I let you. Talk to me, Jim."

"What do you want me to say?" she asked without turning around to look at him.

"Whatever you want," he shrugged. "You know I'll listen to anything you tell me just like I've always done. Hell, I'll sit with you if you don't wanna say anything at all. Just don't run away from me, Jim. Please."

"Fine," Jim dropped onto the couch as far away from him as she could be. They sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Chris didn't push, he just watched her fidget. Finally, she took a breath and started talking, "I'm not… I'm not good with emotions. I know that, you know that. At first, I thought it was just some stupid crush, hot for teacher or some crap like that. I was on a mission when I realized that that wasn't it. I thought I was losing my shit and I didn't really know what to do. Bones would just laugh at me, Gaila is _not_ the best person to ask for relationship advice and Sulu's only advice was to talk to the person, he doesn't know I was talkin' about you. The problem is that I was always talking to you. It didn't help that I was sure I blew it because I slept with you. Besides, if I told you how I feel…"

"There was no reason for you to think I would feel the same way."

"Yea," she nodded. "Looks like I was right and now it's…"

He cut her off, "Except you're not right."

Jim looked at him, "What? But last night?"

"You really did need to sleep," Chris chuckled. "I know you well enough to know that. You have no idea how hard it was for me to turn you down."

"Why don't you tell me?"

"I have a better idea." He got up from his spot, stood in front of Jim and grabbed her hand. With one good tug, she was on her feet. He took her chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look at him, his eyes locked with hers. There something about the way those cerulean blues shone in the morning sunlight that left him breathless. He pulled her against him and gently pressed his lips against hers. For a second, she didn't move, then Jim wrapped her arms around him and deepened the kiss.

This wasn't like the last time, this time, he was giving her his soul because, whether she knew it or not, it was already hers. He's loved her longer than he cared to admit out loud and it was past time she knew it.

"Chris," Jim whispered when oxygen demanded their attention.

"I love you, kid," he whispered. "You gotta know that."

She chuckled, "I've been driving myself crazy for nothing, huh?"

"Yep."

"I love you too. Now, what do we do?" she asked.

"I have no idea."


	3. Three

"What are you working on?" Chris asked.

Jim looked up from the PADD in her hand, "Reading evals and engineering assessments. If you told me that half my job was paperwork I would've told you to go fuck yourself."

"That's not how recruiting works, sweetheart," he chuckled. "It could be worse."

"How do you figure?"

"My first XO was just as human as you and me," Chris said. "At least Spock helps with your paperwork and he sleeps less than you do. Is that your plan for your Friday night? Paperwork?"

"Paperwork and ice cream. I gotta be the most pathetic twenty-five year old, ever."

"Guess it's a good thing you'll be twenty-six in a couple weeks," he teased. "Come on, I'm not letting you spend your leave working. We're going out."

Jim looked at him, "Are we?"

"Yes, we are. Get changed," the admiral said. Jim was wearing sweat pants, a tank top and a pair of converses; sexy but a bit underdressed for what he had planned.

She raised an eyebrow, "I don't remember being asked to go anywhere."

"That's because I didn't ask. We'll both over think it if I do." That was an understatement. It's been a week since their talk and Chris finally decided to do something about it.

"Where are we going?" Jim asked.

"Somewhere nice but not too fancy," he smiled.

"Wow, Chris,' she looked at him. "Way to win a girl over."

Chris chuckled, "I know for a fact that fancy's not really your thing, kid. I'm saving the good stuff for later when we're not so…"

He couldn't find the right word but Jim did, "Awkward?"

"Awkward works," he said. "Besides, there's something I want you to see. So, change."

Jim pushed herself up from her spot on the bed in his spare bedroom, "Any requests?"

"Blue."

"I was being sarcastic," she chuckled.

"I know, but you look good in blue," he smiled. "You look good in everything but your eyes are hypnotic when… you're wearing blue."

"My eyes are hypnotic? she asked as she stepped closer to him. "I think that's the first time I've heard that one."

Chris smiled, "I think you know how beautiful those eyes are. I'm more than happy to tell you about the effect those eyes have one people, me in particular."

"Blue it is."

* * *

"Chris! It's been a while, almost thought you forgot about me when they gave you those admiral's stripes. Who is this belle femme?"

He smiled at his old friend, "Cliff, this is Captain Jim Kirk. Jim, this is former Starfleet Lieutenant Cliff LaRoche, he owns the place."

"So, you finally brought her down here," Cliff said as he gave Jim a look. " I was beginning to think you were never gonna introduce me to the Savior of Earth."

A light blush colored Jim's cheeks as she looked at him, "You talk about me?"

"It was a while ago, kid. Don't believe half of what he tells you. He's more charming than you are," Chris told her.

Cliff was a New Orleans native that went to the academy with Chris. They served together a few times, then Cliff got hurt on an away mission and lost the sight in his left eye. He stayed in the fleet for a while after that but he wasn't the same and opted to retire early. Cliff stayed in San Francisco and opened a jazz club. It was one of Chris' favorite places in the city but he wasn't telling Cliff that.

"We'll sit at my favorite table and you can tell me all about yourself, chere. Whatcha ya drinking?" Jim cast him a glance as Cliff took her hand and pulled her further into the club. Chris smiled as he watched the pair interact. If Jim was uncomfortable, she didn't show it.

She wrapped her arm around Cliff's, "Bourbon."

"I think my Cajun heart just skipped a beat, chere," Cliff smiled. He was always a sucker for a woman who could drink any kind of whiskey, be it bourbon, scotch, Canadian or something else. Whiskey was still considered a man's drink, and it's takes a special kind of woman to drink it. "Chris?"

The admiral smiled, "Same."

Cliff told one of his employees to grab their drinks and led them to a booth near the stage. Jim slid the cobalt blue blazer she was wearing off and slid into the booth. Chris sat next to her and Cliff was across from them.

"Craziest thing you did at the academy?" his old friend asked. It wasn't a normal question, but Jim isn't exactly normal. The usual questions like 'Where are you from?' and 'What do you do?' were public knowledge.

Jim raised an eyebrow, "Hmm. I don't know if I should tell you with an admiral so close, might get in trouble."

"You honestly think I didn't know what you were up to?"he chuckled. "You know better."

"Maybe," Jim smiled. "Well, there was the one time me, Gary, Lee and Sulu switched Tikhonov's mattress with jello. Cherry, I think. Oh, and the time where I helped Rodriguez, Bartley and Sweeney put live chickens in his room. He was furious."

Cliff laughed, "Ouch. You must've hated the guy."

"I didn't hate him, I was just fed up with him," she sighed. "We were in ATT and at the Command College together. He's one of the best tacticians I've ever seen, even better than me and maybe even Chris, but he wasn't command material. Arrogant to a fault, quick to fight, slow to diplomacy and he didn't care about his people. You can't lead like that."

"I had my own problems with that kid. He was a bully that tormented his classmates, including Chekov, her Chief Navigator. Despite being the better tactician, she routinely beat his scores in the simulators because he was so full of himself," Chris told Cliff. The hardest part about dealing with Tikhonov was that the cadet didn't realize just how much faith people had in him.

"Ahh, so you exacted a little dorm justice, chere?" Cliff asked.

"Of course we did. They weren't the best pranks my class pulled but those are my favorites. Your turn. How long were you in Starfleet and why'd you leave?"

Cliff smiled, "That's two questions, but I guess you can't ask one without the other. I was in for thirteen years. Helm. Got hurt, didn't wanna 'boldly go' anymore."

"That's gotta suck," Jim sighed.

"Hard to be a pilot when I couldn't see," Cliff told her. "They gave me other stuff to do but it didn't feel right. So, what are your intentions with mon ami?"

"Je l'aime," she said simply. Chris smiled at the look on Cliff's face at Jim's simple assertion that she loves him.

"You know he can understand you, chere?"

Jim nodded, "Of course he can, his French is better than mine. Damn overachiever."

"If I'm an overachiever, what does that make you?" he asked with a laughed.

"Uh… I'm awesome. I thought you knew this," she asserted.

"Keep telling yourself that, kid?" Chris teased.

Jim nudged him, "Watch it, old man. So, Cliff, what's it like owing a club?" Chris watched as Jim and Cliff launched into a discussion about anything and everything while he listened to the band. He didn't even realize they were talking to him until Jim touched his arm, "You okay?"

"Just listening," he directed her attention to the band onstage. Jim smiled but she didn't say anything as she listened

Cliff smiled, "That's Dora, she's the best singer in the sector. At least, I think so. I'm lucky to have her."

"It's beautiful," she whispered. Chris smiled as he watched the emotions play on Jim's face.

"Lover Man, originally recorded in 1944 by Billie Holiday," Chris said. "It's one of Dora's favorites."

"You know her?" Jim asked.

He nodded, "She's been with Cliff a long time."

"Maybe Chris'll play," Cliff said. "He ever pull out the guitar for you?"

Jim shrugged, "Once or twice but it wasn't really for me as much as I just happened to be there." Chris chuckled, that was true. Usually, he'd play at the cabin and it never occurred to him that she was listening.

"You should play a song. I'm sure Dora wouldn't mind one more," Cliff said.

"Don't look at me," Jim said with a smile when he looked at her. He hadn't made up his mind when Cliff took the choice out of his hands and motioned to Dora. The singer gave a small nod and finished her song. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to, Chris."

"Wouldn't be the first time," he chuckled and kissed her cheek. Dora motioned for him to get on the stage without drawing any fuss. Gene, the guitarist, handed over his instrument and Chris sat on the stool that the younger man vacated.

"What are we playing for that beautiful woman over there, sugar?" Dora whispered.

He glanced at Jim, "I've Got You Under My Skin."

"Haven't done that one in a while," Dora smiled. "Ted, count it." The drummer counted them in and old familiar tune just flowed. He looked at Jim as Dora sang the first lines, "I've got you under my skin. I've got you deep in the heart of me. So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me. I've got you under my skin."

The smile on Jim's face was breathtaking as Dora continued, "I'd tried so not to give in. I said to myself, 'This affair never will go so well'. But why should I try to resist when, baby, I know so well. I've got you under my skin. I'd sacrifice anything come what might. For the sake of havin' you near. In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night. And repeats, repeats in my ear."

He noticed that Jim was singing along. It shouldn't have surprised him too much, she never did anything he expected her to do. "'Don't you know, little fool, you never can win? Use your mentality, wake up to reality'. But each time that I do just the thought of you makes me stop. Before I begin 'cause I've got you under my skin. I would sacrifice anything come what might. For the sake of havin' you near. In spite of the warning voice that comes in the night. And repeats, how it yells in my ear."

He hummed along, brave enough to play the guitar but not brave enough to sing in a room full of people, "'Don't you know, little fool, you never can win? Why not use your mentality, step up, wake up to reality'. But each time I do just the thought of you makes me stop. Just before I begin 'cause I've got you under my skin. Yes, I've got you under my skin."

Since it was the end of Dora's set, she stepped off the stage with him and took his arm back to Jim and Cliff. "You gonna introduce me?"

He smiled, "Dora, this is Jim. Jim, this is, Dora."

Jim playfully smacked his arm as he sat next to her, "You've been holding out on me. I've known you for four years and I've never seen you play like that."

"Couldn't tell you all my secrets," he told her with a wink.

"Who are you and what did you do with my Christopher?" Jim asked.

"Your Christopher, huh?" he asked, forgetting that they weren't alone.

"If I had my way," she shrugged. "And wouldn't you know it… I usually get what I want."

Dora laughed, "Oh, I like her."

"She's been busting his chops all night," Cliff smiled. "I think he's finally met his match."

Dora looked at Jim, "How'd you two meet?"

"I was in a bar fight," Jim said. "It sounds worse than it was."

"You had tissue hanging outta your nose," Chris laughed.

She shrugged, "I still taught Cupcake and his buddies a lesson. I get to flirt with Uhura all the time and you recruited me, so I won. Bloody nose and all."

"When you put it that way," he chuckled.

"Now, are you gonna let me tell it?" she asked.

"Nope, I'll tell it. Riverside, Iowa. January 2255…" _Chris hated recruiting duty. Most of the kids he dealt with had no idea about what it really meant to be in the fleet. Yes, they all understood that it was hard work but none of them understood the realities or the dangers of the lifestyle. And it was a lifestyle._

_A lot of them wouldn't make it past the first few years for one reason or another. The rest will spend a long time hovering in the middle until they proved themselves worthy of being in charge or they got drummed out. Those left would live in the solitary world where duty made having a life difficult. Not to say that there aren't plenty of officers in relationships or with families, it's just not easy no matter what you and partner do._

_The group of first year cadets and new recruits with him in Riverside were a mix of the extremely intelligent and the downright stupid. How some of these idiots made it past the exams was something he'd have to look into. For example, half of them weren't in the small housing complex by curfew. He left Commander Martinez with those who showed up on time and went looking for the others. He knew he was in the right place when he stepped into the bar near the shipyard._

_It didn't seem fair, the four large cadets fighting with this girl. He noticed that while she was bleeding, so were they. Chris let out a loud whistle, stopping everyone and everything. "Outside. All of you." When no one moved he stood impossibly taller, "Now!" Everyone rushed past him as the girl wiped her bloody nose on the back of her hand. "You alright, kid?"_

_"You can whistle really loud, you know that?" He smiled as the most beautiful pair of blue eyes looked him over. Chris knew that look. She was checking him out but more to see if he was a threat. When she was satisfied that he wouldn't -or couldn't- hurt her, the girl glanced over her shoulder, "Sorry about this, Lew."_

_The bartender chuckled, "They had it comin', Jimmy. Go clean your face off and I'll getcha a drink."_

_Instead of heading for the bathroom, she went around to a door marked for employees. "I'm sorry my guys got into a fight with one of your workers."_

_"Jimmy doesn't work here," the bartender said with a shake of his head. "I went to school with her brother until he disappeared. That's Jim Kirk." Chris sat down at the bar._

_"Jim Kirk… as in George Kirk's daughter?"_

_Lew nodded, "Yep. She works at the yard and tries to fly under the radar. I try to keep an eye on her since nobody else bothers. You'd think that everything her family sacrificed for the fleet someone from Starfleet would at least check up on her every decade or so."_

_Chris pulled up his PADD and looked for information on George Kirk's youngest child. Surprisingly, her record stops when she was twelve. What was there was a treasure trove of genius level scores and almost Vulcan-like aptitude tests. He couldn't fathom what a hero's daughter was doing here. Before he could ask any questions, Jim stepped into the room, "I guess those dumbasses will drive anyone to drink."_

_"I suppose. I'm Captain Pike, would you mind if I took a moment of your time?"_

_Jim chuckled, "Look, I'm not gonna make a big deal about this. I can take a hit and they all need a little more training. Especially that big one, he telegraphs." She must have a lot of experience fighting if she noticed that while worrying about three other attackers._

_"It's not that. Just a few minutes and I'll leave you alone." She glanced at Lew, who nodded, then took the offered drink and motioned to a table. "You know I couldn't believe it when the bartender told me who you are."_

_"Who the hell am I, Captain Pike?" she asked, the tone challenging.  
_

_"Your father's daughter," he smirked. "For my dissertation, I was assigned the USS Kelvin. Something I admired about your dad, he didn't believe in no-win scenarios."_

_"Sure learned his lesson," she muttered. Chris knew he had to tread lightly. He was a fleet kid too, but unlike Jim, he got to know his parents. She had no reason to trust him and if anything, she had a least one good reason to hate Starfleet._

_"Well that depends on how you define winning. You're here, aren't you?" Jim rolled her eyes but she didn't say anything, he took that as his sign to continue. "You know that instinct to leap without looking, that was his nature too and in my opinion it's something that Starfleet's lost."_

_"Why are you talking to me?" she asked._

_"Because I looked up your file while you were washing off the blood," Chris told her. "Your aptitude test are off the charts, so what is it? You like being the only genius level yard rat in the Midwest?"_

_"Maybe I love it."_

_Chris could tell he wasn't getting though, "So your dad dies, you can settle for a less than ordinary life. Or do you feel like you were meant for something better? Something special? Enlist in Starfleet."_

_"Enlist? You guys must be way down on your recruiting quota for the month." That wasn't even remotely true._

_"If you're half the person your father was, Jim, Starfleet could use you. You can be an officer in four years and have your own ship in eight. You understand what the Federation is, don't you? It's important; it's a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada..."_

_"We done?" she asked, cutting him off. Chris knew he hit a nerve in there somewhere but he wasn't sure where._

_"I'm done. Riverside Shipyard, Shuttle for new recruits leaves tomorrow morning , oh-eight hundred hours." Chris stood up, "Your father was the captain of a starship for twelve minutes. He saved eight hundred lives including your mother's and yours. I dare you to do better." The look on her face told Chris everything he needed to know. She needed a challenge._

_He stepped out of the bar and hoped that he wasn't making a huge mistake. He also needed to know why neither of the Kirk children had complete files, the bartender said George junior disappeared, he wanted to know how and why. Chris decided that it could wait until he was in San Francisco and attempted to get some sleep._

_The next morning, after wrangling the cadets, he waited. Chris knew it was crazy but she seemed like the type to never turn down a challenge. At seven-fifty-four, he heard a motorcycle heading in his direction. Jim pulled the vehicle to a stop and tossed the key at one of the other workers._

_"Your PADD, please," Jim said, holding a hand out. Chris was curious, so he gave it to her. Her fingers were flying for a minute before she handed it back, "The rest of my file."_

_"You deleted it?"_

_"No," she said. "I simply buried it in junk coding. I'd advise having a drink before you read it, it's not pretty. George dying is not the worst thing that's ever happened to me. It's not even top five… sir."_

"The rest is history, as the saying goes."

"Literally, since we saved the world," she said.

Chris shook his head, "You saved the world, I got tortured."

"I wouldn't have been in a position to save anything if you hadn't left me as the XO, so there," Jim pointed out. They've been arguing about this for almost a year.

"You two are adorable," Dora smiled.

They looked at each other and shook their heads, "Nah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bruce Greenwood is a pretty decent musician, I had to add it into his character. A lot of officers in the Star Trek universe are musical in someway.
> 
> Since jazz music was still popular in the 24th century (Riker and Alexander in TNG, Kim and the Doctor in Voyager and most of DS9), I figured that it was safe to use with these two.
> 
> I don't own Lover Man by Billie Holiday or I've Got You Under My Skin by Frank Sinatra.


	4. Four

"You're reading the same thing you were reading ten minutes ago," Jim muttered.

"How do you know that?" he chuckled.

She gave him a breathtaking smile, "Observational awareness, Admiral. I can also see the words. You're in the same spot."

Chris sat the PADD on the coffee table in front of him, "I might be a bit distracted, Captain."

"Distracted by what?" Jim asked as she shifted from where she was leaning against his shoulder to look at him.

"I think you know what," he whispered.

"Sorry, Chris, but I'm not a mind reader. So, unless you tell me, I don't know." The smirk on Jim's face told Chris that she was just playing coy.

"I don't believe that for half a second, Jim," he smiled. "You've always had this uncanny ability to know exactly what I'm thinking." He reached over and took the PADD from her hands, placing it on top of his. Then, he slid the unnecessary eyeglasses off her beautiful face. "You are well aware of why I'm so distracted, kid."

Jim looked at him with those eyes and Chris wasn't sure which way was up. He had no idea who moved first but he wasn't complaining. He was consumed in the feel of her lips against his, soft like flower petals. He could taste the peach tea she'd been drinking on her tongue as it mixed with the natural flavor of apples that Jim always tasted like. Chris had her pinned between his body and the couch, one hand buried in her golden tresses, the fingers of his other hand were caressing the sliver of exposed skin above the waistband of her jeans. Jim had one of her hands in his hair and the other was under his shirt running a path along his side.

"Chris," fell from her lips as he pressed kisses along her jaw and neck.

Jim wrapped her legs around him, pulling their bodies closer. They both moaned at the contact. He could feel her warmth, even through his clothes and hers. Jim looked up at him; her eyes were dark and swirling with lust. A slow smirk formed on her lips as she watched him. There was no way she couldn't see what he was thinking, there was no way she couldn't feel him against her. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't do it.

He pulled away from her and stood up. The pout on Jim's face was priceless. Chris watched her as she took a few calming breaths, he took a few himself. This wasn't the first time he pulled away from her. It wasn't that he didn't want her, he wanted her so much that it hurt, he just didn't want her to think that it was the only thing he wanted.

"I… I… shit." Jim's eyes flickered up to meet his. She was still getting a handle on her breathing, her lips were swollen and she looked downright beautiful. Jim didn't say anything so he kept talking, "I know you, kid. I know you better than you know yourself. Any idiot can have sex, it's easy. I need you to let me in your head and your heart first." Jim rolled her eyes and opened her mouth but he stopped her. "You know I'm right."

"Half right, Chris. Half right. You've always been in my head. You're already in my heart. You should know that. But It's okay. You don't have to worry about it too much. When it happens, it happens," she told him with a shrug. She wasn't fooling him, he hurt her feelings, again. Jim grabbed her PADD and pressed a kiss to his cheek before leaving the room.

"I'm a fuckin' idiot."

* * *

"You're a fuckin' idiot, Chris." He rolled his eyes at Richard. The other admiral looked at him, "I never thought I'd see the day. I assume this mystery woman is Kirk." Chris nodded, there was no point in denying it, not to Richard. They've been friends too long for Richard not to see right through him if he lied, just like McCoy does to Jim all the time. His friend rested a hand on his shoulder, "Do you need the birds and the bees talk? You act like you've never done this before. Hell, you've done this with her. What are you so scared of?"

"This is Jim we're talking about. You've seen her file, even the classified stuff." Richard nodded. Chris sighed, "I don't want to be something else that she has to survive. I don't want to be someone else who steals a piece of her. Last time… if I had more control, it wouldn't have happened. If this was anyone else I wouldn't… well, I would think twice about it but… but she's Jim." His friend seemed to understand everything he couldn't say.

Jim has been through too much in her very short life and he didn't want to add to the pain. Of course, that was backfiring on him at the moment because he was hurting her anyway. He could tell that part of her understood what he was trying to do but the other part was almost convinced that it was her own fault. Jim was good at blaming herself for everything.

"You tell her any of this? Or did you give her some crap about sex being easy and anybody can do it?" Richard asked him Chris put his head in his hands. Barnett laughed, "Oh, shit. That's what you said to her. You are a fuckin' idiot. Anyone with eyes knows she's in love with you. I don't have to tell you how much shit crossed my desk about you and her. Fortunately, I knew that nothing was going on back then but still. You don't realize how important you are to her. That girl fought though a ship full of Romulans for you, Chris. Maybe she doesn't need you making that choice for her. Normally, I'd tell you it was a good thing that you weren't sleeping with her but in this case, you're an idiot."

"You're not helping," Chris muttered to his friend.

Richard chuckled, "Maybe not, but I'm being honest." Before he could reply, the door to his apartment opened. Chris was expecting Jim, what he wasn't expecting was McCoy carrying Jim in his arms.

"What happened?" was out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

"Nothing, she fell asleep in the car," the doctor glared at him. "It's what happens when people don't sleep and stress themselves out over something stupid. I'm gonna put her in her bed." Chris and Richard watched as Jim's best friend made his way through the apartment with sure steps.

"I'm gonna leave before he comes back because I know he has a few words for you," Richard said.

"You're not gonna back me up? Gee thanks," Chris said.

Richard walked towards the door, "I'm pretty sure that McCoy would kill for Kirk and not think twice about it. I doubt he's gonna be nice and I don't want to be witness to anything he says. He's too good a doctor to get kicked out of the fleet because he gave you the riot act in front of me. Later, brother."

Chris watched his friend leave the apartment and waited until McCoy walked into the room. It took more than a few minutes but eventually, Leonard stepped into the room. The look in his former doctor's eyes told the admiral that he was in trouble. McCoy stood at the other end of the room with his arms crossed, glaring daggers at Chris.

"If you have something to say, McCoy, just say it," Chris sighed.

"I love that girl and the only reason I haven't kicked your ass yet is because it'd hurt her. She cried. Captain Jim fuckin' Kirk in tears because she thinks that there's something wrong with her. I don't know what's goin' on with you, I don't fuckin' care what's goin' on with you, but you better fix it. She's had enough people treat her like crap and I'm not gonna let you do that to her. I don't give a fuck if you outrank me."

"It's not her," Chris told the doctor.

"I know it's not her," Jim's best friend said. " _She_ doesn't know it's not her. Jim loves you. She always has. You're the only thing in the whole damn universe that has the power to truly break her. There are plenty of people who would love to be in your position but she wants you. So, figure it out, or leave her alone." With that, McCoy walked out the door.

* * *

He doesn't know how Jim was doing it, but he hasn't seen her in three days. She was staying in his apartment during her leave for crying out loud. How the hell does she move in and out without him noticing? Chris sighed; this whole thing was getting out of hand. He flipped open his communicator. "Don't hang up on me, McCoy." He waited a beat to make sure the doctor was still listening. When Leonard huffed, Chris asked him one question. "Where is she?"

Chris took in the information that the angry southerner gave him and grabbed his jacket. The club he walked into wasn't really Jim's thing but McCoy said that Gaila and Sulu practically dragged her out with them. He spotted the three officers easily and walked over. Gaila spotted him before Jim did, "Admiral Pike, what are you doin' here?"

"Well, Lieutenant," he looked at the young Orion, "I need a few minutes with your captain." Jim rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. Sulu looked like he was ready to beat the crap out of anyone who messed with Jim –including him- but Gaila grabbed the helmsman's arm and pulled him away.

Jim watched her friends leave before she looked at him, "Well, you wanted a minute, _sir_?"

"You're avoiding me," he said.

"No I'm not," she lied. "You're busy and I'm supposed to be on leave. Having fun like normal people, so that's what I'm doing. See, fun."

"That's bullshit and you know it. Come home. We need to talk and this isn't the place for that conversation."

"And if I don't? What then?" Jim asked.

"I'm not here to force you to do anything, Jim," Chris sighed. "I know you're mad at me and I know that you think something's wrong with you. I've been trying to talk to you for days. I won't make you do anything, you know that. I don't care what you do, Jim, I love you either way." Chris kissed her cheek before he walked away. He didn't want to say something he'd regret so he left it at that.

He was halfway down the street before he heard her voice, "Chris, wait!"

Jim was moving faster than you'd expect someone in heels to move. He could admit that they were nice shoes, made her already long legs go on for days and days. This was not the time to think too much about it though.

"You decided…" was the first thing out of her mouth. Chris didn't say anything, he just rested a steadying hand on her waist when she stopped in front of him. "You decided. If it's about work I don't have a choice but this…" she motioned between them, "this is supposed to be equal. You keep deciding for me like I'm some child who doesn't know anything. I've had enough people decide my life for me, I can't stand by and watch you do it too. I gotta believe that I have some understanding of myself and what I want. Otherwise, what's the point of everything that I've been through?"

"I'm messing this up, huh?"

She nodded, "I mess up all the time, it's okay. You're right, I was avoiding you. I just needed… I don't know, to not be reminded of you every second of the day. It wasn't working though. I went from being mad at you to being mad at myself and trying to see it from your point of view. I get what you're trying to do but I don't need you to protect me, especially from you. Can we just go home, please?"

"Gaila and Sulu?"

"Already know I'm gone," she smiled. "I didn't wanna go out anyway and I hate this place. I'm not even wearing my own clothes."

The black leather skirt, white crop top and heels had to be Gaila's. The only thing that was Jim's was the necklace that she always wore with the three stars in the tiny chain and a moon charm. "Get over here." Chris pulled her against his chest and peppered kisses all over her face. "I'm sorry for being an idiot, Jimmy." She smiled before she pressed a kiss to his lips.

"You're not an idiot. You're just trying to be a gentleman. I can't stay mad at you for that. Next time there's a decision to be made, _we_ make it, together. Okay?"

He nodded, "Yes, ma'am."

* * *

Chris couldn't sleep and went looking for his PADD when he spotted her. Jim was leaning against one of the floor to ceiling windows in his living room staring out at the city. "It's two in the morning, Jim. McCoy is gonna kill me if you don't start sleeping. He's already mad at me."

"Bones stays mad; it's not your fault… technically. I can't sleep. I'm guessing you couldn't either." Chris stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Jim leaned her head back on his shoulder and smiled. "Beautiful, huh?" Chris knew she was talking about San Francisco at night but that's not what he was looking at.

"Yes, you are." Jim turned in his arms to look at him but Chris pulled her into a kiss before she could say anything. She moaned against his lips and tried to pull him closer. He tangled his hands in her hair and deepened the kiss. The warmth of her body pressed against him was intoxicating. Chris kissed a path from behind her ear, down her neck and to her collarbone. He took a deep breath and rested his forehead against hers, "Come on, kid." Jim raised an eyebrow and Chris chuckled, "If we keep going… If we have sex in here I'll never be able to be in this room without thinkin' about it. It's bad enough that I can't sleep in my bed without thoughts of you filling my head. So come on." Jim didn't say anything as she took the hand he offered her.

She played with the sleeves of her oversized cardigan as she sat on the edge of his bed. For the first time in a long time, he could see the uncertainty in her eyes. Chris knew it was his own damn fault. "What do you need, Jim?"

Her eyes flickered up to meet his and he could practically see her pulse as it sped up. Jim took a breath before she whispered, "You have on too many clothes."

Chris slowly pulled the t-shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor. Jim watched him as his hands moved to the waistband of his pajamas, pushing them, and his boxer briefs, down his legs. She stepped closer to him, running her fingers along his skin, taking him in with her eyes and her hands. She pressed a soft kiss to his neck and he almost lost his mind. "I have on too many clothes."

He gently pulled Jim to her feet and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. She looked up at him as he stood in front of her. Chris slid the dark blue cardigan over her shoulders and down her arms, fingers brushing her skin as he let it drop. He took a deep breath as he pulled the see-through white tank top off her small frame. Chris unhooked the blue bra she was wearing and peeled it off. He heard the hitch in her breathing when he slid her shorts and panties down her thighs, over her calves and to the floor. Chris pressed a kiss on her stomach and her hip before he stood up and waited for whatever she was gonna say next. "Just… just love me. That's what I need."

It almost broke his heart. Chris pulled her in his arms, "I love you, Jim. I love you so much, sweetheart, it's not even funny." Her eyes seemed to glow in the moonlight as she looked at him. She was so beautiful, it was almost unfair. He took a deep breath, "Lay down… please." Jim raised an eyebrow before she decided to go with it. Chris ran his fingers along her skin, smiling when he was rewarded with a shiver.

He settled between Jim's legs and pressed a soft kiss to her inner thigh. She opened her mouth to protest but stopped herself when she realized what he was doing. Jim watched him with wide eyes but didn't say anything as he kissed a path to his final destination. Chris looked up and caught Jim's gaze. Without breaking eye contact, he settled his mouth over her. The taste of her sent his heart beating out of control. Her eyes fluttered closed and she moaned his name.

"Oh my God," Jim uttered just above a whisper when he slid two fingers into her. He was thinking the same thing. Chris upped the pressure and Jim purred. There was no other way to describe the sounds he pulled out of her. She gasped and shuttered and he could feel it pulsating through her body. He was certain that he'd never get her taste or the sounds she made out of his head. Planting her feet on the bed, Jim pushed against his mouth. Chris chuckled and flattened a hand on her stomach to hold her still. He could feel her muscles quiver under his fingers as he continued his task.

Chris could tell she was close, he saw it in her eyes before he even touched her. Humming, he sucked on her clit and Jim exploded, her whole body shaking. Chris lifted his head and watched. Her hair was a mess of golden strands around her head, her mouth open in a silent moan. It was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

Jim looked at him and he could see the wheels turning. "I know what you're thinking and the answer is no, you can't suck me. I'm already losing my mind as it is." She seemed to accept that answer because she gave him a slight nod and continued to watch him. He moved up her body, pressing kisses along her flushed skin. If he had more control, he's would've spent a lot more time memorizing her body with his lips. He'll save that for next time. Chris captured her mouth in a searing kiss as he slid into her. He watched as Jim's eyes went completely unfocused, "Look at me, sweetheart."

She locked her gaze on him with a small smile, running her fingers though his hair. Chris took a steadying breath before he began to move. It was everything like he remembered and nothing like he remembered at the same time. There was no way in hell this would last long. The feeling of her around him was nearly too much. She kissed, licked and nipped at his skin anywhere she could reach. He was probably gonna have marks in the morning, so was she. Jim moved to meet him, wrapping her legs around his waist, bringing their bodies impossibly closer. He was so completely lost in her, the taste of her still on his tongue. Jim moaned out his name as she tightened around him. That was more than he could take, Chris followed her over the edge.

After a bit of rearranging, Jim looked at him, "You okay?"

"Better than okay, sweetheart," Chris said with a smile. "Are you okay?"

"Hmm," she nodded. He pulled Jim against his chest and watched her fight to keep her eyes open.

"Sleep, sweetheart. I love you."

"Love you too," Jim mumbled against his chest. He chuckled and held her closer. He tried to watch her sleep for a few minutes but his own eyelids grew heavy and he drifted off into sleep.

* * *

"Come on, Chris, you gotta say it. Say it!"

He glared at her, "You destroyed my starship. How the hell do you keep doing that?" Jim laughed as they sat on the couch and played the old game on their PADDs.

"You should be proud, you're an amazing teacher. Besides, I know how you think. Give it some time and maybe you'll figure out how to beat me."

"Maybe, you're cheating," he smiled.

"That hurts my feelings, Chris. I would never," Jim said with mock hurt.

"Uh huh," Chris chuckled. "Really, how are you doing that?"

"Some math and a little tactical analysis," she chuckled. "Not that hard."

"I love it when you talk tactical to me."

Jim looked at him with a gleam in her eyes, "Hmm. Would you like a threat assessment, Admiral? I may have any number of viable solutions."

"By all means, Captain America."

Jim rolled her eyes at his reference to her t-shirt. She gently tugged the PADD out of his hands and straddled him. Jim kissed his neck before whispering in his ear, "Threat is human. Female. Above average intelligence. Below average impulse control. Completely in love with you."

Chris ran his hands under her shirt and up her back. "Solution, Captain?"

"Well, Admiral, I think you should make out with her."

He smiled, "That sounds like a very good plan."


	5. Five

Chris sat at his desk and stared at the commander sitting across from him. He wasn't sure how Commander Winona Rice got onto his schedule without his knowledge but he was curious as to why she was here. In all the years he's known Jim, he's heard about her mother a handful of times. None of it good.

"What can I do for you, Commander?"

Rice looked at him, "I need to see, James… Captain Kirk."

"What makes you think I have any control over who Captain Kirk communicates with?" Chris asked with a sigh. "If you contacted her or her ship and were met with silence or a negative response, there's nothing I can do." That wasn't completely true. If he talked to Jim, she'd listen but he wasn't telling her absentee mother that fact.

"You're her mentor and her predecessor, everyone I've spoken to pointed me in your direction, Admiral. I need to speak with her. She refuses to respond to my comms," Rice said.

"Her prerogative, Commander," he said. "Fortunately, for you, I have too much respect for her not to mention that you came to see me. What she does with that information is up to her. That's all I can do."

"That's not true. You can tell her to talk to me."

He chuckled, "You seem to think it's my job to play mediator between you and the daughter you've ignored for the last two decades, it's not. I told you that I'll tell her you were here. It's not a favor to you, I'm one of the only people in the universe that gives a damn about Kirk and that's the only reason I haven't kicked you out of my office. That's it. If you have nothing else, you're dismissed, Commander."

The woman he used to admire glared at him before she stood and walked out of his office. Chris picked up his communicator and called Jim as soon as the door closed. Jim answered almost instantly, "Kirk."

"You know it's almost ten, sleeping beauty," Chris chuckled at the sleepy voice.

"I'm on leave," she yawned. "Besides, someone kept me up all night. How you have so much energy, I'll never know but you should share that secret."

"I might be persuaded to tell you one day," he told her.

"I'll hold you to that. What's up?" Jim asked.

"I had an interesting visitor today that just left my office." He could hear Jim moving, probably to sit up.

"Who?" she asked. He knew there was no way to sugarcoat it so he just told her.

"Your mother. She wants to see you."

Jim took a breath, "You told her you'd talk to me?"

"Hell no. I told her that I'd tell you she was here, that's it," he said.

"She keeps trying to comm me. You know what she wants?" Jim asked him.

Chris sighed, "Nope. I just thought you should know she was here."

"Angry Romulans are easy," Jim sighed, "but a mother who never looked at you twice, not so much. Any idea on what I should do?"

He thought about it for a few minutes, "I don't know, kid. It took me forever to talk to Charlie. But I am glad that I did."

Chris didn't know that his father was actually his father until he was an adult. His mother, Willa McKinnies, was raising him alone. The pair bounced around on her architect assignments until Chris was nine when she got married to Heston Prescott. Soon after that, the new Prescott family moved from Earth to the colony on Elysium.

While they were there, Chris became friends with Charlie, the apparent drifter and hired hand who helped the family with their horses. Chris learned a lot from the older man and he looked up to him. In 2231, a wildfire swept across Elysium. His mom and his step-dad were both killed. Charlie saved Chris' life and got him to a Starfleet ship that was aiding in rescue operations.

That's when Chris learned that Charlie was a Starfleet petty officer who had been on extended leave. He couldn't figure out why Charlie didn't tell him, or why the man was helping with horses if he had a real job. Chris didn't know how, at the time, but Charlie got custody of Chris and moved him back to Mojave to live with his wife, Hobelia. The day after he turned thirteen, he took the name Pike.

It was Charlie who convinced Chris to apply to Starfleet Academy. Eventually, the two men served together on the USS Aldrin under the command of Captain Kamnach. Even though Chris was aware that they needed to focus on their mission, the captain ordered Chris not to have any contact at all with Charlie unless it was during the course of his duties.

In 2246, when Chris, who was the acting first officer, relieved Kamnach because of his plans to fire on a Vestian ship without good cause, an officer loyal to Kamnach fired on the Vestian ship. The Vestians fought back and Chief Engineer Chua was killed in the firefight; Charlie took over Engineering and was working in a Jeffries tube when his son found him.

Chris ended up getting court marshaled once the Aldrin arrived back home, among the charges were insubordination and dereliction of duties. It backfired on Kamnach since the brass not only dropped them but recommended that Chris be promoted to a full commander and he was assigned as the Aldrin's XO while Kamnach was 'asked' to retire.

A few days later, Chris learned that Charlie Pike was actually his biological father. This caused a rift between the father and son. Hobelia was the one who told Chris the whole story. Charlie and Willa had been together for about a year. Just before Charlie left to go on a tour, the pair broke up. Chris' mom was pregnant with him by then but she didn't tell Charlie. Chris was born in 2219 while his father was off planet. When Charlie returned to Earth, he learned that he had a son and offered to marry Willa. She refused, opting to raise Chris alone.

Charlie's extended leave on Elysium was to get to know his son. Chris' parents thought it was best not to tell him. After Willa died, Charlie didn't think it was that important to tell Chris since they were father and son anyway. Chris was more sad than angry and the Pike men didn't talk for years. It was Chris' first encounter with Jim that showed him how stupid it was to ignore his father when people, like Jim, never had a chance to know theirs.

"The big difference is that he was there, even though you didn't know he was your father by blood, he was still your dad. Hell, he even checks on me. Winona just threw me away, Chris. You think I should talk to her," Jim muttered on the other end of the comm.

Chris sighed, "I think you should do whatever you think is best. I'll be there with you if you want me to."

"I'll think about it."

* * *

"You think this is crazy, don't you?" Jim asked from one of the couches in his office.

"No. I think you're curious," Chris shook his head. "There's a part of you, all be it a small part, that wants to see her. You need to see her, not for her but for yourself. You need to see if your life would've really been better if she stuck around."

Jim nodded but didn't say anything. It took her two days before she decided that she'd see what Winona wanted. Being Jim, she wanted to meet on –mostly- neutral ground, so they were having this twisted family reunion in his office. When his yeoman buzzed, he thought the commander was early, but it was Barnett.

"Well, hello, Captain Kirk," Richard said when he walked into the room. Jim sprung to feet so fast it was almost funny. Never let it be said that Jim does follow customs and courtesies. Richard chuckled, "A bit jumpy, huh?"

Jim nodded, "A little, sir."

"Stow the sir when it's just us," Chris' friend smiled at her. "How you feeling?" She looked at Chris with the question as clear as day on her face.

"He knows… everything," Chris told her.

"He's your best friend, I knew that," she let out the breath she was holding. "I don't know what to feel, Barnett. Last time I saw Winona I was eight. Sad when you consider that I was on Tarsus Four _and_ I saved the world last year. I didn't have anyone waiting for me when I got off the shuttle… both times."

"I would've been there but…" Chris started.

"You didn't know about one and you were in the hospital for the other," Jim said, cutting off the apology that she was about to give. "It's okay. I'm used to being by myself." The way she said it made Chris sad and he could almost see the girl that she never got a chance to be. Richard rested his hand on her shoulder but didn't say anything.

His friend was a fan of Jim from the beginning, even if he wouldn't admit it. Richard knew a bit more about her childhood than Chris did since parts of her file were either sealed or classified. What Chris did see of her records was bad enough and Richard refused to tell him anything else. The usually happy man had a grim look in his eyes the first time Chris brought up Jim Kirk during her first year at the academy. Chris was smart enough not to ask.

The buzz from his yeoman broke the silence in the room. Chris sighed before he told Tyler to send Commander Rice in. Jim asked Richard to stay, casting a glance in Chris' direction. He knew she was more concerned with him than herself. Jim was sitting in her original spot, on his couch, when her mother walked into the room.

To anyone who didn't know Jim, she looked like she was just hanging out in his office but Chris knew Jim. She wasn't nervous but she was leery of the other woman, assessing her just as she would any other threat. Chris offered Rice a seat as he sat down next to Jim, Richard chose to stand.

"I assumed we'd be alone," Rice told Jim as she sat across from the younger woman.

Jim shrugged, "Assumptions are a good way to get yourself killed in our line of work. You wanted to see me, Commander. Here I am." Jim was calm and almost nonchalant.

"I guess I earned your hatred for me," Rice sighed.

"I don't hate you, that would imply that I care and to do that would take up to much of my time and energy. Did it hurt when you left? Sure, I was a child. Do I stay up at night crying about it? No. I have more important things to worry about. As far as I'm concerned, you and I share nothing more than DNA. Now, you wanted this little pow-wow, say what you gotta say so I can get back to my well earned shore leave."

The look on Rice's face was priceless. Jim wasn't lying about her feelings towards her mother. She _wondered_ about the woman that left her with Uncle Frank, then Uncle Jim but she never let herself _care_ enough about Rice to hate her. Chris was sure that something happening to his father or McCoy's mother would hurt Jim more than anything about her own mother would.

"Your little brother wants to meet you," Rice said. Jim didn't look as surprised as he expected. As a matter of fact, Jim didn't look surprised at all.

"Let me guess, little Maxwell saw me on the newsfeeds and when they started talking my parentage, you had to explain about your dead son and the daughter you abandoned," Jim said with a chuckle. The only time her emotion slipped was the reference to George junior. She had commed Chris in tears when she found her older brother dead on Deneva a few months ago. The rub was that he died a few hours before the Enterprise showed up to save everyone else. Jim was saddened by the fact that she didn't get a chance to reconnect with her brother and that his wife and son died in her medbay.

Rice looked at the two admirals before she nodded. "I had planned to tell him when he was older but the Narada incident changed all that. You've been gone for months and you were busy before that. I…"

"Was putting it off but he didn't stop asking. Explaining to a twelve year old why you don't talk to his big sister is complicated by the fact that you don't have a real reason. You told him you'd ask me, it's the only reason you're here," Jim stated simply.

Chris didn't know that Rice had another child, or that Jim knew so much about her mother's life. He wasn't shocked, Jim always knew more than she let on. What did shock him was the fact that their mother seemed to think it was okay not to tell them about each other.

"You don't have to see him. I could tell him you don…" Rice began.

Jim cut her off, "That's not up to you. He has the right to know who his family is. Universe can get a bit lonely when you're in it by yourself." That was a loaded statement if he's ever heard one. This boy, Jim's little brother, had a right to know who she was. Jim sighed, "Does he like ships?" Rice nodded at the question. The young captain chuckled, "Guess we both take after you. The Enterprise is at Starbase One finishing up our repairs from our last mission, figure out a day and I'll take him on a tour of the ship. That way he can meet me and we can talk without the pressure. The other Commander Rice is welcome to join us if he wants."

"I expected you to tell me to go to hell," Rice said honestly.

"Of course you do, you don't know me. Fortunately, this isn't about you. This is about my little brother and I have no reason to say no to him. Did he ever meet Sam?"

Rice shook her head, "No. I didn't know where he was until I was notified of his death." Jim nodded and reached into her pocket, handing her mother a holo.

"That's a copy of the last known holo of Sam, his wife, Aurelan, and their son, Peter. Auri was only alive for a few minutes when we got there. Peter held on the longest but we couldn't save him either."

Rice's eyes welled up, "I'm so sorry, Jimmy. I wish I was better to you and Georgie."

"Don't worry about it. From what I know about Sam, he was a good man who loved his family. And while I'm nowhere near prefect, I am happy. Not everyone can say that, doesn't matter who their parents are. As long as you do right by Max, we won't have any issues."

* * *

Chris couldn't help the smile that crept onto his face when he walked into his apartment. Jim, Joanna and a boy, who had to be Max, were asleep in a pile of pillows and blankets on the living room floor. He knew that Jim had taken her brother up to the ship but he didn't know that the little McCoy was with them too. Chris hadn't made it three steps into the apartment when the door opened behind him. It was McCoy.

The doctor took in the sight of his daughter, best friend and her brother asleep in their cuddle pile and sighed, "Is it mean if I wake them up?"

"Yep. I was gonna wait until Rice came to get Max," Chris nodded. McCoy smirked as he pulled up the holo imager on his communicator and took holos of the sleeping trio. "I want copies of those, McCoy."

The southerner nodded, "Sure thing."

Chris walked into his room and changed out of his uniform. When he came back, Jim's mother and her husband, Commander Leslie Rice, were standing over Jim, Joanna and Max. Leslie chuckled, "Wasn't expecting this."

"You might as well take a seat," Chris said. "The Enterprise is a big ship, they must have worn themselves out."

"It was so awesome," Max muttered as he pushed himself up. The twelve year old nudged his sister, "We have an audience, Jimmy." Chris couldn't help but laugh, the kid sounded just like Jim. Chris watched as Jim's blue eyes snapped open and her body tensed as she did a scan of the room.

Chris smiled, "It's just us, kid." They all watched as she visibly relaxed. Winona and Leslie looked at Jim, than Chris, then Jim again.

"None of us were in here when she went to sleep," McCoy offered. "She wakes up in threat assessment mode. Used to creep me out at the academy until it saved our asses."

"You kept trying to argue with me and almost got shot, Bonesy," Jim chuckled.

Joanna's eyes went wide, "Is that true, Mister Chris?"

The admiral nodded, "Yep. They were on an away team during a training cruise on the Republic, the locals got hostile. Aunt Jimmy saved your dad and Captain Bannock. She got a medal for valor."

"You got a medal?" Max asked with pure adoration on his face.

"I got a few of them," Jim said. "I have no idea where they are, I don't really care about that stuff."

"They're at the cabin. Barnett just gives them to me after you threw one," Chris told her.

According to Sulu, when Jim got her medal after the Narada, she launched it, case and all, at a wall the second she walked into her dorm. She didn't want it. Most of her classmates were dead, thousands of officers gone, Vulcan was destroyed and he was in a wheelchair. She carried a huge dose of guilt and self-loathing after that whole thing. Not only did she not want the attention, she knew it was PR trying to cover Starfleet's ass by putting the heroic daughter of a dead hero in the spotlight.

"You don't want your medals?" Winona asked her.

"I could care less about the attention," Jim shrugged. "The important people know what I'm about, that's all that matters to me. Right, jelly bean?"

Joanna nodded, "Yep, Aunt Jimmy rocks. She knows all about the ship and she fights the bad guys and she gives the second best hugs."

"Only second best? Blasphemy!" Jim declared.

"Daddy gives the best hugs," Joanna shrugged.

Jim looked at her best friend and sighed in mock defeat, "Okay, I suppose I have to give you that one. Wanna help me with all this stuff?" Joanna and Max both nodded and started scooping up pillows and blankets.

"Well, I guess they had fun, I was worried," Leslie said as soon as the trio left the room.

"She's great with kids," McCoy said with a shrug. "Shocked the hell out of me the first time I took her to Georgia. Jim and Jo are thick as thieves."

Winona nodded, "So you and Jimmy?"

Chris and McCoy both laughed and shook their heads. The doctor smiled, "She's my best friend and I love her to death but not like that. Although, I wanted to marry her after she punched my ex-wife's soon-to-be ex-husband."

"What the guy do?" Leslie asked McCoy. The doctor shook his head and a cold look crossed his features. Chris decided to answer for him.

"He hit Joanna in a drunken rage. Jim happened to be within earshot and got the girl away from him. Clay turned his pissy attitude on Jim and took a swing at her. She punched him, broke his nose. McCoy's sister has holos," the admiral said.

"Mama kicked him out after that," Joanna piped up.

McCoy nodded, "Yes, she did. I would've sent Jim after her if she didn't. You ready to go, Jo Jo?"

"Do we have to?" Joanna asked her father.

"Yep," McCoy smiled. "You know you'll get to see Jim before we leave again."

The ten year old looked at Jim, "Really?"

"Of course, kiddo. Gimme a hug," Jim said. Joanna wrapped her arms around Jim's middle.

"I love you, Aunt Jimmy."

Jim smiled, "Love you too, jelly bean. Be good for your dad, he already has his hands full keeping me out of trouble." Jim kissed the top of Joanna's head and released her. "I'll see you at that party I'm not supposed to know about, Bonesy."

Gaila, Sulu, Chekov and the rest of the Enterprise's senior staff thought they could plan a surprise party for Jim for her birthday but she was on to them. The doctor chuckled, "Don't know what you're talking about, kid. Until next time, Admiral."

"McCoy and little McCoy," Chris said as Joanna gave him a quick hug before they left the apartment. Chris noticed that Winona was watching Jim, almost like she couldn't believe her eyes.

Max looked at his parents, "Do we have to leave too?"

"Sorry, buddy," Leslie nodded.

Max looked at Jim, "But I just met my sister."

She smiled, "Lemme see your communicator." Max handed over the device and Jim entered her information. "There, now you can comm me and send me messages. Maybe we can hang out again before my ship leaves."

"You promise?" the boy asked with a smile.

Jim held up her hand, "Pinky promise." The siblings intertwined their small fingers together. Jim hugged her brother, "I'll talk to you later, Maximum."

"You got it Jim-inator," Max chuckled.

"It was nice to finally meet you, Jim," Leslie sent a look at his wife. If Chris had to guess, Leslie wasn't happy with the idea that it took over a decade for him to meet his step-daughter.

"Likewise," Jim smiled. "That's a pretty awesome kid you got."

"I think he takes after his sister," Leslie smiled. Chris could tell that the man didn't know what to do when Jim gave her step-dad a hug.

Winona looked at her daughter, "Thank you, for this."

"It's what families do… at least that's what I'm told," Jim said.

"I guess we all got some things to learn," the older woman said.

Jim smiled, "Yea."

After a few more hugs between Max and Jim, the Rice family left the apartment.

Chris watched Jim, "You okay, sweetheart?" She nodded for a few seconds before she shook her head and tears welled up in her eyes.

"He's like a mini-me without all the damage."

Chris pulled her into his lap as the tears began to fall.


	6. Six

"What's that?" Jim asked him after he placed the small jewelry box on her knee.

Chris chuckled, "That is a gift. The kind of thing you give someone on their birthday. Before you ask, no, it's not an engagement ring."

Jim smiled as she opened the box. Inside was a small gold ring with a gold bar on it. "It's beautiful, Chris."

"It was my mothers. One of the few things that they recovered on Elysium. She always wore it. I don't remember why she took it off in the weeks before she died but I do remember when Charlie gave it to me."

"You're giving me your mom's ring?" Jim looked at him with wide eyes, "I can't take this. You should give this to your…"

"My what? Daughter? Wife? I've held onto that ring since I was a teenager waiting for the one person I thought was special enough to wear it… that's you, by the way. I think my mom would approve. Happy birthday, sweetheart." Chris kissed the top of her head. Jim slid the ring onto her left index finger.

She looked at her hand for a moment, "Whatcha think?"

"Perfect." He took her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

Before either of them could say anything else, someone rang the buzzer to the door. Jim groaned, "Gaila is here to play Birthday Barbie with me." Chris chuckled as he went to answer the door. Of course, Jim was right, it was Gaila and Uhura.

"Lieutenants," he said as he let them into the apartment.

"Admiral," they both said with a smile. Gaila and Uhura were more of an odd couple than Jim and McCoy. There were some similarities between the captain and the doctor but the engineer and the linguist were radically different. Uhura was calm, serene and almost Vulcan in her mannerisms and intelligence. Gaila was like Jim only more outgoing, annoying cheerful at times and deceptively brilliant.

"We are here to help Jim get ready," Gaila declared.

Jim laughed from behind Chris, "You mean you're here to torture me before you drag me off to that not so surprising surprise party." Gaila and Uhura looked at him.

"Wasn't me," Chris shook his head.

The pair of operations officers looked at each other, "McCoy."

"Bones didn't tell me. I figured it out though. You guys all need to try to not be so secretive, that's what gave you away. So, are we gonna do this? I can't wait to see what you're forcing me to wear." Chris chuckled and Jim glared at him.

"Don't give me that look," he smiled. "I saw your dress already. Trust me, you'll like it."

"That makes me feel better," Jim said, her whole body relaxed a little. "I didn't know that getting forced into a dress was a normal birthday ritual. Not that I would know much about normal birthdays." Chris would've laughed but Jim was dead serious. The idea of actually celebrating her birthday is still new to Jim, he remembers her twenty-third birthday vividly.

_Chris didn't like being commed in the middle of the night to pull some idiot cadets out of trouble. He really didn't like called to get two of the top cadets in their class out of trouble but that's here he found himself. Kirk and McCoy were sitting on the curb with a Federation Security officer standing over them. Apparently, the pair got into a bar fight and caused a fuck-ton of damage._

_"Get in the car." They both looked up at him and he could tell that Kirk was more intoxicated than he's ever seen her. When they didn't move, he put a bit more command in his tone, "Now, cadets." McCoy was on his feet first and pulled Kirk up along with him. The usually vocal woman didn't say anything and Chris couldn't decide if she was being quiet on purpose or just too drunk to talk._

_After talking with the officer and the bar owner, he slid into the driver's seat of his car. Both cadets were in the backseat, Kirk had her eyes closed and her head in McCoy's lap. For the first half of the drive there was silence, than McCoy spoke, "It wasn't her fault."_

_"It doesn't matter who's fault it was, cadet. You're both out past curfew and you started a disturbance."_

_McCoy sighed, "We didn't start anything,_ Captain _. She just… that guy should've left her alone."_

__"You shouldn't have been there in the first place, McCoy,"_ Chris glanced at the doctor in the mirror.  
_

_"Maybe you should've done something about all the bullshit she's been dealing with this week. My dad's dead too but nobody ever taunts me about it. I get condolences when people find out, I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who's ever offered her any. To add salt to the wound, it's been her birthday for about two hours, which means this day is only gonna get worse. I can't imagine what it feels like to be born on the day your dad died; I doubt she's ever had a real birthday. You're all too busy being obsessed with her dead father that people forget that she never met him. I bet you didn't even think about it, sir."_

_He didn't want to agree with McCoy but the southerner was right, Chris hadn't thought about it. He can even admit that he recruited George Kirk's daughter without thinking about Jim Kirk as her own person. And the more Chris thought about it, the worse he felt. He's been her advisor for almost a year but he never noticed that the attention was bothering her._

_People made no secret that they thought Kirk didn't belong in Starfleet, that she wasn't deserving of her spot or her name. They didn't realize that she was smarter than most of them on her worst day. They also didn't realize that her name was about the only thing that truly belonged to her… and in a way, it didn't belong to her at all. Through it all, she just made witty comments, flirted and smiled. Chris realized that Kirk was good at letting people see what they wanted to see and not the real her.  
_

_"So what really happened?" Chris asked McCoy._

_"The same shit that always happens," the doctor sighed. "The guy recognized her from all the Kelvin memorial crap on the newsfeeds and started talking about her. Called her a disgrace, said she wasn't good enough to be a Kirk, got in her face about how her father would be ashamed of her. I tried to pull her out of the bar but he hit me, which is when she started swinging."_

_"How many times has something like this happened?" He couldn't believe that this is the first time he's heard about any of this._

_McCoy sighed, "A few. Usually its other cadets and we get away before it gets that far. Most of the time I just patch her up myself, not like anyone cares if she gets hurt. The only reason they commed you is because those idiots broke half the bar." McCoy was silent after that and Chris could tell that the other man was seething._

_Chris decided at the last minute to take the pair to his apartment instead of the dorms. McCoy shot him a look as they got out of the car and Chris sighed, "I'm doing you a favor, or do you want to deal with the barracks officer?" The doctor shook his head and looked at Jim, who's blue eyes were open and watching them.  
_

_Chris entered his home with the two cadets, "I have a spare room and a couch." They both nodded as they all pulled their jackets off._

_Kirk looked at McCoy, "I'll take the couch." The southern gentleman in McCoy looked like he was ready to argue but the tone in Jim's voice must've stopped him. Chris couldn't help but wonder about that as they all got ready for bed._

_Early the next morning, Chris walked into his living room to find Kirk sitting on the floor in front of the window. "Figured you'd still be asleep, Kirk."_

_"That would imply that I actually went to sleep, sir," she said as she turned to look at him. "I'm sure Bones'll bitch about it later but being tired is the only way to get through class some days."_

_"Because it's your birthday?"_

_Kirk shrugged, "Nobody calls it that. Kelvin day. The anniversary of George's death. The worst day of her life… that one was from my mother. The concept of having a birthday is a bit foreign to me… I only celebrated it once and that was over ten years ago."  
_

_"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked.  
_

_"Nobody gives a shit about me or how I feel and I wasn't about to whine about it. I got through my childhood alone, I think I can manage. At least I have Bones now, he's a bit cranky but it's nice to have someone care."_

_He looked at the cadet, "I care."_

_"No offense, Captain, but you don't," Kirk snorted. "Not really, anyway. You wanted George Kirk's daughter in Starfleet and you stuck your neck out for her but… Jim, you don't know Jim. Other than Bones, nobody does because nobody wants to. Everyone sees a ghost when I walk into a room, they don't see me. They don't even try to."_

_Her words were heartbreakingly honest. Chris knew enough about Kirk to know that she wasn't after sympathy, she was just telling the truth. People didn't see her as anything more than her father's daughter and Chris was just as guilty. What hurt him most was the look on her face. She wasn't sad about it but she was resigned to the idea of being invisible in plain sight._

_"Want the day off? You can get some sleep and nobody will bother you about your father."_

_"How do you propose I do that, sir?" she chuckled. Chris gave her a look before he grabbed his PADD and had her excused from her classes for the day, then he did the same for McCoy._

_"I just did it for you. I recommend staying here since the reporters are all over campus today. There's a nice diner down the street that makes the best pancakes you'll ever have and they deliver. I have a ton of movies that I have yet to watch, you can tell me if I should waste my time." Kirk looked at him like he lost his mind, maybe he has._

_"Why?" McCoy asked as he walked into the room._

_Chris sighed, "Everyone deserves to feel special on their birthday. From what I can see, Kirk just wants to be left alone. Nobody would think to look for her here. You can keep her company. I have a meeting to get to before morning classes start." Both cadets watched him as he made his way to the door._

_"Captain Pike…" Kirk looked at him, "Chris, thank you."_

_"You're welcome, Jim. Happy birthday."_

* * *

"You should dance with her, sir," Sulu muttered as he sat down.

Chris looked at the younger man, "I'm not that obvious, Lieutenant."

"It's not that hard to put together if you pay attention," the helmsman said. "You haven't taken your eyes off her all night, not that I can blame you 'cause she looks amazing. The glances, the subtle touches, the way your eyes follow each other, one of you moves and the other shifts. You're one lucky man. You should dance with your girl on her birthday."

Chris never thought about what people see when he and Jim are together, not that he had to. The two people that see them together the most, Richard and McCoy, knew what was going on. They never felt the need to be anything other than what they were. He watched Jim dance with Chekov for a few more minutes before he decided to walk over.

"Mind if I cut in?" Chris asked.

"Not at all, sir," the navigator said as he took a step back. "I promised Uhura a dance too." Jim laughed as Chekov practically ran away from him.

"I'm not that intimidating," Chris sighed.

She nodded as she stepped into his arms, "You kinda are. Not to me, obviously, but to an eighteen year old ensign… definitely. You have a nice chat with Sulu?"

"He knows."

"I'd bet they all do," Jim shrugged. "I got a pretty smart bunch. Bones knew what happened last year, Gaila too. Sulu figured it out when you showed up at that club and the others are piecing it together as we speak… uh, dance."

"This is more like a sway," he chuckled.

"Last year you were in a wheelchair and now you're dancing with me and you don't need your cane anymore. Enjoy the win, Chris." He didn't get a chance to respond when his communicator went off. Chris opened the device and sighed at the message.

_FLASH - Starfleet Emergency Action Message - FLASH_  
Attention all Commanding Officers, Executive Officers and designated Flag Officers in Sector 001  
Emergency Session 2259.04 2000  
THIS IS NOT A DRILL

That didn't sound good. The last time he got one of these, Vulcan was under attack. "You and Spock about to get an EAM," Chris told the woman in his arms. McCoy tossed Jim her communicator from where she sat it down as soon as it started beeping. Chris watched her read the message with a small pout on her face.

Jim sighed, "Happy birthday to me."

* * *

Chris was sitting next to Jim at the large conference table, Spock was in her other side. Richard was sitting with Komack near the head of the table. Chris glanced over at the Enterprise's two senior officers before turning his attention to Admiral Alexander Marcus, the commanding officer of Starfleet.

"By now, some of you have heard what happened in London. The target was a Starfleet data archive, now it's a damn hole in the ground. Forty-two men and women are dead. One hour ago, I received a message from a Starfleet officer who confessed to carrying out this attack, that he was being forced to do it by this man." A holo of a man, early to mid-thirties with dark hair appeared on their monitors before Marcus continued.

"Commander John Harrison. He's one of our own and he is the man responsible for this act of savagery. For reasons unknown, John Harrison has just declared a one-man war against Starfleet and under no circumstances are we to allow this man to escape Federation space. You here tonight represent the senior command of all the vessels in the region. And in the name of those we lost, you will run this bastard down. This is a manhunt, pure and simple, so let's get to work."

Chris should've been paying attention to his CO but Jim appeared to be onto something. He watched her manipulate the images from the explosion. Chris wasn't sure what he was looking at but Jim seemed to have some idea. She pulled up images of the street before the explosion and sighed when she saw it. The Kelvin Memorial Archive. Chris glanced over at Marcus, who was still talking.

"You will park your ships in a blockade formation and deploy search vehicles and landing parties to run down every lead. This man has shown willingness to kill innocent people, so the rules of engagement are simple. If you come across this man, and fear for your life and the live of those nearby, you are authorized to use deadly force on the subject."

Chris tapped Jim's arm, drawing her attention to something he saw on her screen. Harrison was among the civilians and he was holding something in his hands. Spock leaned closer, the three officers confused about what they were looking at. Jim gave voice to his thoughts with a whisper, "What's in the bag? What could be that important?" He didn't know and he wasn't sure he wanted to.

"Chris, everything okay over there?" Marcus asked him.

"The captain, the commander and I are just tossing around some theories," Chris said. "My apologies, sir."

Marcus looked at Jim and Spock before looking at Chris, "By all means."

"He targeted the Kelvin Memorial Archive," the younger of the two admirals said. "That's like bombing a library. All that information is public record."

"And it's not a coincidence that today is the twenty-sixth anniversary of when the Kelvin went down, either. He could be trying to get our attention and this is just the beginning," Jim told them.

Marcus looked at her, "The beginning of what, Miss Kirk?"

"Sir, in event of an attack, protocol mandates that senior commands gather, a group of designated Admirals and all the Captains and First Officers in the sector, at Starfleet HQ, right here... in this room," Jim said. He could tell that something about it didn't sit right with her.

Spock nodded, "It is curious that Harrison would commandeer a jump ship without warp capability..."

At that moment, a red light lit up the room behind them. Chris turned in his chair to look out the windows like the rest of the officers did. Jim stood up and took half a step before she faced the others, "CLEAR THE ROOM!"

Chris hit the deck as soon as the words were out of her mouth. It was impeccable timing because that's the same moment the jump ship outside the windows opened fire on them. It was pure chaos. Glass was shattering and people were screaming as they went down.

"We need an air defense team, Daystrom conference room!" Chris yelled into his communicator. Jim grabbed him and practically pushed him from the room.

"Come on," she said. If it had been any other time, he probably would've laughed at Jim manhandling him.

"CHRIS!" Richard called out. Chris looked around the room for his friend but didn't see him.

"I'll get him, keep going," Jim practically ordered before she let him go and headed back into the room. He joined Marcus and Komack in the spot where the conference room connected to the glass lined hallway, none of them were entirely sure what they should -could- do as the security teams ran past them.

Chris' blood ran cold when he spotted Spock carrying Richard and Jim covering them with a rifle. "Richard, you're gonna be okay," he told his friend as he took in the injury to Richard's chest.

The other admiral chuckled, "You can't lie worth shit, especially to me, brother. It's... it's okay." Tears welled up in Chris' eyes but he didn't care. Richard was his best friend, his brother, and Chris could do nothing but watch him as he took his final breaths.

For a moment, everything went completely still and the sounds around him were drowned out. The only thing Chris could hear was his heartbeat. Part of him registered that they were still in danger but the other part didn't care. Marcus pulled him out of his head with a shout at Jim, "Kirk!" She glanced at them before looking around the small area.

"What are you looking for, Captain?" Spock asked her.

Jim's eyes locked onto something over Chris' shoulder, "That." They all watched as she shot out the window next to her first officer before jumping over a short table and opening the Emergency/Fire Suppression panel on the wall. Jim tied the fire hose to the rifle and tossed the weapon at Spock. "Throw it at the turbines. They'll pull it in, the engines will stall and the whole ship will drop. You're stronger than me."

A wave of pride shot through him, that's his girl. There were a lot of people who thought Jim was an idiot. Chris noticed that she never let it bother her and, most of the time, she used it to her advantage.

Spock did what his captain told him to do and threw the rifle at the jump ship. They all watched as one of the turbines sucked up the hose, pulling it's housing off the wall. There was a small explosion and the jump ship started losing it's pitch and altitude. Harrison beamed out at the last second. Jim glared at the ship as it fell, "I'm gonna kill that bastard."

It was a sentiment that Chris was completely behind.

* * *

He felt numb. In addition to Richard, there were twelve officers killed and another nine injured. Chris knew he should probably go to medical at some point but he didn't feel like it. Jim didn't say anything as they stepped into the apartment and he was thankful for it. He sat on the edge of the coffee table and put his head in his hands. He heard Jim sigh before her hands moved to his uniform jacket.

Chris didn't move, he just watched as she pushed the dirty garment off his body. Jim knelt next to him and pulled his boots off one at a time. It was quite the reversal from him and McCoy stripping her down after she got hurt or drunk, usually both. He watched as she pulled off her dress uniform jacket and slid out of her boots. That's when he noticed that her movements weren't as smooth and graceful as they usually were.

"You're hurt, kid," he muttered, trying to figure out what she did to herself.

"I'll heal," she said with a shrug. Jim took his hand and pulled him through the apartment and into the bathroom. She hit the control for the water before she faced him and pushed his black undershirt over his head. He knew that she was checking to make sure that he wasn't physically hurt and it brought a small smile to his face.

After she undressed them both, she pulled him into the shower. They were a mess, covered in dirt, grime, blood and glass. Chris closed his eyes as he stood under the hot water. Jim wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his back. He doesn't know how long they stood like that before he felt Jim press kisses on his back.

Chris turned in her arms, his hands slid down her sides to her hips and he pulled her even closer. Jim looked up at him, "I'm not gonna ask if you're okay because I know you're not. Just… I'm here if you need me." The words were quiet but heartfelt and God help him if that didn't make him love her more than he already did.

* * *

"You ever heard of Section 31?" Marcus asked Chris, Jim and Spock as they stood in his office eleven hours after Harrison shot up HQ. All three officers nodded in response to the question. Section 31 was an officially nonexistent agency within Starfleet. They claimed to operate in the name of the security of the UFP but Chris –and Jim- knew better. They operated for their own interests, regardless if it helped the Fed or not.

"Harrison is Thirty-one?" Jim asked.

Their commanding officer nodded, "Yes. So were the sub-levels of the KMA. By all accounts, Harrison was a good operative until he went rouge and bombed Praxis. The archive is just another in a long list of things that he's been up to in the last year. Your theory that he's trying to get our attention isn't so far-fetched. As a matter of fact, I think it's your attention specifically, Captain, and blowing up the archive may have been some sort of sick birthday present."

Chris didn't like the sound of that, "What does he want, to kill her?"

"No," Marcus shook his head, "I think it might be the opposite. I think he means to recruit Kirk to his cause."

Spock looked at Marcus, "Which is what, sir?"

"Mostly eugenics," Marcus sighed. "He wants to destroy everything he sees as beneath him. Kirk's parentage alone would make her the perfect partner. Killing Nero and your involvement on Phaedus put you over the top."

Phaedus Four is an iron- age civilization that was comparable to Earth's Roman Empire. In 2240, the Federation sent the Enterprise NCC-1319, under the command of Captain Robert April and then-Commander Marcus to do the first survey of the planet. During the survey, they saw that a genocidal civil war was being started the Shadow Phaedans. During the conflict, the Shadow faction ate and enslaved the children.

April decided to violate the Prime Directive, fake his death, and help the oppressed Phaedans fight the Shadow Phaedans to save them from extinction. For almost twenty years, April helped the oppressed Phaedans fight the Shadow by giving them Starfleet technology acquired by a trader named Mudd. During that time, April learned that the Shadow was supplied with weapons and technology from the Klingon Empire.

Harrison helped April for a while after they discovered increased Klingon activity on the world. This was one of Harrison's final assignments before going rogue. Jim's Enterprise got to Phaedus three weeks after Harrison left. Jim violated her orders from the brass and helped April in his fight using some connections she has with a few Klingons. He ran interference for her and took the hit when they decided to punish her, not that she needed to know that. What Jim and April did worked and, as far as Chris knows, April is still on that planet.

"Harrison thinks I'm anti-alien, that's ridiculous," Jim said and Chris could hear the shock in her voice.

"Given the manner in which your father was killed, it is only logical for one to make that assumption," Spock reminded her.

Chris sighed, "It doesn't matter what he thinks about Kirk. We have to stop him before anyone else gets hurt. I also doubt the Klingons appreciate the fact that he blew up Praxis."

The mission to Praxis was to destroy the scientific facilities to prevent the Klingons from creating augments. However, Harrison took out the Klingon guards, planted demolition charges and destroyed the small moon.

"I have a few contacts with the Klingons, I can give them a heads up. I really wanna go after this guy, sir," Jim told Marcus.

The commander of Starfleet looked at her, "Good. Your orders are to apprehend Harrison, eliminate if necessary. Keep me updated."

"Understood, sir," Jim nodded.

Chris glanced at her before he looked at Marcus, "I'd like to go with them, sir."

Marcus nodded, "That's fine with me. Captain Kirk?"

"Admiral Pike is always welcome aboard the Enterprise."


	7. Seven

"Where were you two?" Chris and Jim glanced over their shoulders as McCoy joined them in the shuttle bay.

"For what, McCoy?" he asked the doctor.

McCoy huffed, "Your medical exams. Thirteen hours ago, you were in a damn firefight. Now, it's my duty to exami..."

"We're fine, Bones," Jim said to her friend.

"The hell you are," the medical officer wasn't easily convinced, "I heard about Barnett."

"We're fine," she sighed.

"You're not actually going after this guy, are you?" McCoy asked as he grabbed her arm. Anyone else and she would've laid them out on their ass, McCoy is very luck that he's McCoy.

"Yes. I am going after him. How many more people have to die, Bones?" Jim said.

"We're not in the business of revenge, Jim. When you stopped Nero, it was about saving people and not the revenge that you had every right to want. I get what you're trying to do, Barnett was a good man and Pike's best friend but you're mine and I can't just watch you go off half-cocked after some maniac," McCoy told her.

"It took twenty-five years, six billion Vulcan lives, a couple thousand Starfleet officers and four dozen Klingon vessels to stop Nero. I shouldn't have been the person to figure that out. There are fifty-five people, our people, dead so far, Bones. More _will_ die if we don't stop him. He's not Nero, this isn't about heartbreak over his lost family or something that Starfleet failed to do. Harrison wants the world to burn. Anyone who doesn't meet his ideals will burn with it," she said. "As far as Barnett… If I died in your arms what would you do?"

Chris watched as the doctor's features softened and all the fight left him. McCoy has put Jim's broken and battered body back together enough times for the reality of that question to hit the doctor square in the chest. "You sure know how to play dirty, Jim," McCoy muttered. Jim shrugged but didn't say anything. Chris chuckled, Jim could be an annoying little thing when she wanted to be.

The three of them boarded the shuttle to find Spock already there. "Gimme a status report, Mister Spock," Jim said to her first officer as she sat down next to him.

The scientist looked at her, "The Enterprise should be ready for launch by the time we arrive, Captain."

"Good, good," Jim nodded. "Hey, Uhura speaks Klingon, right?"

"She does. May I ask why, Captain?" Spock asked.

"If I was running from the Federation, Klingon space is where I'd go. I can speak it too but I don't want to be the only one the away team that does." Chris agreed with her. McCoy didn't.

"We're going to Klingon space? They'll kill us, Jim," the southerner said.

"No they won't. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and in this case that friend is actually my friend. A big, scary, brutal Klingon Commander named Kor. We'll park the Enterprise on the edge of Klingon space and I'll ride to Qo'noS on his ship the Klothos," Jim told her friend.

McCoy snorted, "You're gonna get yourself killed, kid."

"Your lack of faith is astounding, Bones."

* * *

The Enterprise was everything he remembered it to be with the exception of the energy. The last time Chris was on the ship, there were only a handful of seasoned officers and a ton of cadets. There was an uncertainty last year when they went up against Nero that wasn't there anymore. This was a crew of officers who were confident in their abilities and in their captain. Not only was he not surprised, he expected nothing less from Jim.

"Permission to enter the bridge, Captain," Chris said as he stepped into what used to be his domain.

"Granted, Admiral," Jim answered with a chuckle. "We're just getting ready to leave." He had to stifle a groan at the sight in front of him. Jim was wearing the command gold duty dress with sleeves, her captain's stripes shining in the light as she sat in the command chair. She smirked as she looked at him and he knew she was probably reading his mind. Jim looked at her helmsman, "Retract all moorings, Mister Sulu."

"Yes, ma'am," Sulu nodded.

Jim turned the chair, "Lieutenant Uhura, open a ship wide channel."

The communications officer nodded, "Yes, ma'am." Chris watched Jim hit the com-panel on the chair to talk to her chief engineer.

"Scotty, how's our baby?" Jim asked.

"Our girl is ready to kick some ass, Captain. Warp's ready when ye need it," Scott informed her.

"Copy that, Mister Scott," she smiled before taking a deep breath and turning her attention back to Sulu. "Alright, let's ride."

"Yes, ma'am," the pilot smiled as he punched in the sequence and engaged the warp core. Chris smiled as the ship jumped into warp.

Uhura looked at Jim, "Channel open, Captain."

"Attention, crew of the Enterprise. As most of you know, there were two attacks on Starfleet in as many days leaving fifty-five officers dead and many more injured. The man responsible has fled our system and is hiding in Klingon space, somewhere he believes we are unwilling to go. We are on our way there now. Per our order, we are to find Harrison and bring him in, dead or alive. As our goal is aligned with that of the Klingon Empire, we will be engaging in a joint operation with them. Alright, let's go get this son of a bitch, Kirk out," Jim took a deep breath after she cut the connection. She reigned in the myriad of emotions and looked at him. "So, whatcha think of the ship, sir?"

"I think my ship fits you better than it ever did me," he admitted. Jim stood from the command chair with a smile.

"Go for it," she told him as she gestured towards her chair. Chris raised an eyebrow and everyone looked at her. Jim smiled, "You were building this ship for years and you only had command for a few hours. You know how much I beat myself up about that when they gave her to me. I'm serious. My chair is yours, sir."

Chris was pissed that he couldn't kiss her right now because he really wanted to. The admiral took a breath and stepped over to the command chair before he sat down. Chris sighed as the feeling of having a ship came over him, he felt like he was home again. "You miss it," Jim didn't phrase it as a question, not that she needed to, she was right.

He nodded, "You have no idea. I'm still not used to having a desk job."

"Maybe they'll let you back in the black. You can't have my ship though," Jim said with a smile.

"I don't think that would go over well with your crew, anyway," Chris chuckled.

She laughed, "Probably not."

* * *

"Are you ever gonna tell us how you know a Klingon commander?" Sulu asked Jim as they –Chris, Jim, Sulu, Uhura and Hendorff- strapped into the K'normian trade ship that Jim was piloting over to meet Kor.

"Not much to tell," Jim shrugged.

"That's a lie and you know it, Jim. Tell 'em," Chris chuckled. He knew what happened and McCoy had pieces of the story but, like most things, Jim didn't really talk about it.

"Fine," she sighed. "I was on a break from Cochrane Institute. Since I don't really have a home to go home to like everyone else, I ended up on this shithole of a planet. I was walking down the street when I came up on this fight. Group of Nausicaans attacked this Klingon and his son. Kid wasn't any older than I was at the time."

"Kor?" Uhura asked.

"Was the dad," Jim said with a nod. "The kid I was as his son, Rynar. Anyway, the Nausicaans were supposed to be their allies but they stabbed Kor in the back, figuratively and literally. I killed two of them, injured another and the last two ran when Kor's men came looking for him. I took up a blood oath with Rynar to help him find the Nausicaans while Kor recuperated. I was on that ship for two weeks while we tracked them down. Once we found them, we killed them."

Sulu nodded, "Why?"

"I spent my whole life without a father because some madman thought he had the right to take him from me. I've been neglected, beaten, tortured and a bunch of other stuff that I prefer not to talk about. The reality of life without my father is very different from what people think it is. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I saw a boy trying to protect his dad, so I helped him," Jim said like it was the easiest thing in the universe. Given what Chris knows about Jim's like before Starfleet, it very well might've been.

"So, how does this help us?" Hendorff asked.

"Kor was grateful when he got better and told me that I was always welcome among his house. As far as the Kingons are concerned, I'm considered an ally of the House of Kor. When I have something to say, they listen. They have too much respect for Kor's family not to," Jim smiled. "Look, when we're over there, hold your heads high, look them in the eyes and if you got something to say, just say it. Klingons hate weakness and whispering. If you're afraid, own it, they'll respect you for it." They all nodded.

"How is it that I get a Klingon blood debt and you become a Klingon ally?" Chris muttered.

Jim chuckled, "I'm awesome. And because you encountered Kaaj, he's smart but weak. I can kill him for you, if you want."

The admiral chuckled, "I'll think about it."

* * *

"Kirk," came a booming voice as they entered the bridge of the Klothos.

"Kor,' Jim smiled. "I brought you that fight I promised," Jim told the large Klingon as she handed him a PADD with Harrison's information on it. She stood next to Kor like she didn't have a care in the world. Not only did Kor not seem to mind, he welcomed it. "This is the man responsible for Praxis. I honestly don't care what happens to him but I _will_ be there." It was almost funny to watch Jim talk to these men like it was nothing, the reality was that they could kill her without much effort. Kor seemed to enjoy it though.

"That's why I like you, Kirk. Straight to the point. We will find this human and you will be there when we kill him," Kor told her. None of the Starfleet officers were dumb enough to say anything about their order to apprehend. Then again, they were all in the same class at the academy under Richard's command. Chris realized that Jim picked these specific officers on purpose. They were all fighters, even Uhura, and they all had some kind of relationship with Barnett.

One of the Klingons growled at Kor and said something that Chris didn't understand. Jim understood him. She smiled sweetly before she grabbed the knife strapped to her thigh and stabbed him in the leg with it. Jim held the weapon and leaned close to the Klingon's ear, her voice calm but loud enough that everyone could hear, "This is about honor and this man has none. He killed a member of my family, of _my_ house. By your own laws and traditions, we have every right to hunt him to the ends of the universe. He destroyed Praxis, your moon, full of your people. You can bitch like a child or you can join us in battle as we take the blood he owes us, your choice."

Jim had this murderous gleam in her eyes as she pulled the blade from his leg, wiped the blood on his pants and turned her back on him. She looked like she was one second away from slitting someone's throat. Chris had to take a deep breath, he was so turned on right now that it wasn't even funny. The look on Sulu and Hendoff's faces said the same thing. It was a damn good thing that they weren't wearing their uniforms on this mission. The Klingon looked at Jim with wide eyes but he didn't dare say anything.

Kor let out a laugh, "Have that wound healed. Know this, young one, you can't frighten Kirk. She is a warrior who had the misfortune of being born human. Don't let that fool you, she is a formidable foe."

"He's more than welcome to challenge me…" Jim smirked, "after we get Harrison." Kor laughed again as the other Klingon limped away with a growl.

"Don't kill him like you did the last one, Kirk. My sister would kill us both," Kor said. Chris was gonna have to ask her about that one later.

Jim smiled, "Okay but only because she actually scares me."

* * *

The Ketha Province was an uninhabited lowland area on the Klingon homeworld of Qo'noS. It was also where Harrison was hiding according to Lieutenant Commander Scott. Jim, Spock and Chris were right about the bag they Harrison carrying in the holos from the KMA bombing; it was a portable transwarp beaming device. Scott recovered the device from the crashed wreckage of the jump ship before they left Earth.

Despite where he ended up, there was only enough power in the device to beam Harrison to an automated cargo station in Earth's orbit. Scott traced him to an unmanned vessel in orbit near Luna equipped with another transwarp device wired into the empty ship's engine. From there, Harrison beamed to Qo'noS.

"Captain, I'm reading life sighs in those ruins," Hendorff informed the group.

Kor nodded, "I smell him."

"He's watching us," Jim said as she scanned the area with her eyes. No sooner had the words come out her mouth did the shooting start. Jim and Uhura gave each other a quick nod before the two women popped up, side-by-side, and fired back. It was a far cry from their time in the academy.

_"I WILL NOT DEFEND THAT MONSTER!" Kirk's yell could be heard all the way down the corridor. Chris pushed past the amused cadets, instructing them to get to class, as the two women argued about their Ethics class. He didn't hear Cadet Uhura's response but the look on Kirk's face was something he'd never seen before. If looks could kill the young linguist would be dead, buried and a memory._

_"That's enough, cadets," Chris told them. Both women looked at him._

_"Sir, Kirk refuses to participate in our assignment," Uhura told him. He looked at Kirk._

_"She wants me to defend Kodos in our debate," Jim practically growled. Chris' blood ran cold. He knew there was no way in hell she defend him, even if Uhura forced the issue, Thaddeus Kodos was one of the monsters under Kirk's bed._

_"Sir, Kirk…" Uhura started but Chris held up a hand to cut her off._

_He looked at Kirk, "Your debate is on Tarsus Four?" She nodded. Chris sighed, "I'll have you excused. You should've filled me in before today." Kirk let go of the breath she was holding but Uhura seemed to get angrier._

_"Of course Kirk gets what she wants," the cadet muttered. And Kirk's temper flared up in a heartbeat._

_"Since when do I get what I want, Uhura? My father is_ dead _. As in gone and never coming back. No life lessons or bedtime stories or helping me up when I fall... he's dead. I don't understand why nobody gets that. He died and my mother fell apart and my brother ran away. I grew up unwelcome, unwanted and alone. I didn't want any of it, still don't. I really didn't want to starve and fight and watch my uncle and Hoshi die."_

_Uhura chuckled, "Yea right, like you were there."_

_Kirk realized too late what she let slip, "Forget it. Can I go?" Chris gave her a nodded and watched as she grabbed her gear and left the room._

_"Kirk wasn't really there… was she?" Uhura asked._

_"Yes," he said. "I don't know the whole story, just the stuff in her file, which isn't much. Her uncle lived there, she went to visit him and Hoshi before it all went FUBAR. Contrary to what you and most people think, her life is not a cakewalk. As far as Kirk is concerned, we all see what we want to see, even me sometimes."_

_"I don't understand, sir."_

_Chris smiled, "I didn't see anything beyond her father when I met her; saw what I wanted to see. McCoy practically cursed me out on her birthday about it. You're doing the same thing. You don't like her much."_

_"She's a nepotistic idiot, who uses her name and her body to get ahead," Uhura said, the venom in her voice was clear as day._

_"Is she?" he asked. "Her engineering degrees weren't earned at Starfleet. She took the admissions exam with no prep and still had one of the highest scores ever recorded. She tested out of most of her first year courses. She doesn't date anyone assigned to the academy, students or instructors. And to be nepotistic would mean she had a family, a name is about the only thing she got from hers and given all the crap she takes for being a Kirk, it's not really hers. Just because you want her to be a nepotistic slut, doesn't make her one. You see what you want to see."_

_Uhura opened her mouth to argue but she thought better of it and closed it. For a minute, she just looked at him, then she sighed._

_"Why do you defend her, sir?"_

_"Because someone has to," he smiled, "and since I talked her into joining Starfleet, I kinda volunteered for the job. Piece of advice, figure out a way to be civil with Kirk. There will come a day, cadet, when the only weapon you'll have is her. You might not understand that today, but you will."_

The day he told Uhura about was the day the Narada showed up. And he was right, the two women saved the Enterprise from being destroyed at Vulcan and led the charge to stop Nero. Now here they were, fighting a psycho former Starfleet officer like it didn't even phase them, it probably didn't.

Chris knew that Harrison and his people were closing in when some of Kor's men went down. Jim and Uhura jumped from their spot just as a heavy weapon was fired at them. Jim leaned against the wall next to him, "Hey, Chris."

"Hi," he chuckled. "You got a plan for this?"

"I always got a plan," Jim smiled. "Uhura and Hendorff are with you, we're gonna need you guys to cover us. Sulu, up for some close combat?"

The helmsman pulled his retractable sword from his belt and hit the button to open it, "I'm, always ready for a little hand-to-hand, Captain."

"That's what I like to hear. Let's dance," Jim said to Sulu as she grabbed one of the downed Klingon's weapons. The pair of command officers looked around before they took off to join the fight.

"I think I should've stayed on the Enterprise," Chris muttered.

Uhura looked at him, "They have that effect on all of us, sir. We need to move."

"That way," he motioned a few yards to their left. The three officers got away from their spot to cover Jim and Sulu as they fought Harrison's men. When did Harrison get men in the first place? One of them charged at Jim and Chris shot him. The admiral was a little annoyed that he didn't get to watch the beauty that was Jim in a fight. His girl could move.

Chris looked around for threats and noticed that he hadn't seen Harrison. The terrorist's last man was stabbed in the chest by Kor, ending the fight. The admiral and the two lieutenants joined the others. He looked at the men at Jim's feet. She shook her head, "He's not here. He ran. We need to get back to the Enterprise. I have a feeling that he's not goin' quietly."

"The coward fled," Kor roared. "You were right, my young friend, he has no honor."

* * *

"Captain Kirk." Chris really hated the way Harrison said her name, his accent and tone dripped around it in false superiority. Jim glared at the screen.

"Harrison. To what do I owe the pleasure?" she asked.

The other man smiled, "You have something I want and I'm willing to overlook everything else to get it."

"What might that be?" Jim asked in that slightly condescending tone she always uses when she's pissed off.

"You," Harrison said.

Jim chuckled, "I'm flattered, really, but I'm not interested in joining your super secret bunch of psychos. I'm also taken and I know for a fact that he'd love nothing more than to rip your spine out with his bare hands… so there's that. I will agree to a get together though. You, me and a team of highly trained and overly protective security officers."

"I could just kill you, Kirk," Harrison smiled. "I'm offering to make you the queen of the new world order."

"If I wanted power, I wouldn't need your help to get it," she replied. That was very true. Chris has had to remind a few of the admirals that Jim was not an enemy they wanted to have. "I'm a main attraction, sweetheart, I don't play sidekick. I also don't go around killing people because I think I'm better than them."

"Well, I suppose we nothing further to discuss," Harrison sneered before the feed cut out.

Jim took a deep breath, "Maintain those shields."

Sulu nodded, "Yes, ma'am. They have weapon's lock."

"I'm sure," Jim chuckled. "Standby, Sulu."

The officers on the bridge didn't even seem worried that Jim didn't order them to start firing. Chris stood beside her chair, "What are you up to?"

"The fun part," Jim said. "Sulu, attack pattern sierra nine in ten seconds." The helmsman's hands flew over the console as Harrison's ship fired on them. Sulu pulled hard to starboard and started firing back.

"Hang onto something," the pilot called. Chris grabbed the back of Jim's chair as the Enterprise took a hit from the other ship. He realized that Jim and Sulu were waiting for that hit. The Klothos flew in out of nowhere with some Klingon vessels on its tail.

Chris smiled, "Now this is interesting."

Jim chuckled, "Oh, we're just gettin' started."


	8. Eight

Chris was pleasantly surprised when the computer let him into Jim's personal space. He chuckled as he looked around. Everything was very her; there were holos around the room, PADDs all over the place and a bunch of actual books that were probably worth a small fortune. "I can't believe she didn't change the lock," he muttered to himself.

"Actually, I did change it." Chris didn't even realize that Jim was standing behind him. She smiled, "You, Bones and my yeoman are the only people who can come in here without me. I figured that once you got back on your feet, you'd get to visit. Since I have nothing to hide from you, I didn't see the point in blocking your access. Are you okay? You left the bridge in a hurry."

"I don't know. I need… I don't know what I need. I'm not usually for the whole eye for an eye thing but… he killed my best friend. I shouldn't be happy that he's dead but I can't help it." The Enterprise and the Klingons destroyed most of Harrison's ship. Jim almost sent a team over to verify, luckily, she didn't and the other ship initiated their self-destruct protocol, destroying what was left. Chris was upset about the loss of life but part of him that was almost giddy that Harrison was dead.

"You feel guilty... I remember that feeling after Nero. The fact that some people weren't even shy about saying it to my face only made it worse. 'He killed your dad' and all that jazz. I'm gonna tell you what a wise man told me. 'He was dangerous and more people would've died if he managed to get away. I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't want him dead but we did it for the right reason'."

"I did not say it like that," Chris muttered.

Jim chuckled, "You really did. It's okay, Bonesy had you on some good meds. You were high off your ass, but you were also right. Harrison and Nero's causes were different but their actions weren't. They both killed a bunch of innocent people for no reason. Nothing wrong with being happy that they're dead."

"Moments like this are why I forget that you're only twenty-six," he chuckled.

"I forget that you're almost forty all the time," Jim shrugged.

Chris smiled, "Do you?"

"Yep, you don't act like it," she smiled. "I think it's that whole swimming in the lake thing from my second year."

"Hey, that whole thing was your idea and it was the only way you'd talk to me," he smiled.

_"Cadet Kirk reporting as ordered, sir."_

_"Have a seat, kid, and cut the 'sir' business," Chris said to the cadet standing in his office. Kirk sat down across from him and waited. Chris didn't call her into his office outside of their monthly meetings so she was understandably curious._

_"Spring break is coming up, you have plans?" he asked her._

_Kirk shook her head, "No."_

_Chris raised an eyebrow, "You're not going to Georgia with McCoy?"_

_"I went with Bones for the holidays," she sighed, "but I'm understandably not a holiday person and I kinda felt like I took too much time away from his daughter, so I'm planning to stay here."_

_He knew for a fact that not only did McCoy like having her home with him but McCoy's mother practically adopted the command cadet as her own five minutes after they met. And if McCoy's daughter could've kept Kirk there, the girl would've. McCoy had holographic proof of how much the pair bonded. Chris did understand where Kirk was coming from, even if none of them agreed with her._

_"Ever been to Mojave?" he asked.  
_

_Kirk shook her head, "Not that I know of. Why?"_

_"My family owns property out there. It's technically a cabin but the place is pretty big. If you want, you can spend the break out there instead of being here by yourself," Chris said. He wasn't sure if this was the best idea but he knew it would bother him if he just left her here while everyone was on break.  
_

_"Why do I have this feeling like you just wanna keep an eye on me?" she asked._

_"Because I am trying to keep an eye on you," he answered honestly. "You get into enough trouble with me and McCoy around."_

_"Guess I don't really have a choice," Kirk sighed. Chris looked at the woman in front of him, of course that's the conclusion she'd reach. Kirk was used to people deciding her life around her._

_"You always have a choice with me, kid," Chris told her, "I'm just trying to offer you somewhere to go for spring break. The cabin's big enough that you don't even have to interact with me if you don't want to."_

_She tilted her head like she was trying to figure something out, "Why?"  
_

_"I remember someone telling me that I didn't know her. Maybe this will be a chance to change that." It wasn't the most honest thing he's ever said to her but there was no way in hell he was telling her that he didn't know why.  
_

_Kirk chuckled, "No offense, but you're full of shit. You just don't wanna get a comm that got arrested for doing something stupid."_

_"Well, that would suck and I'd have to make your life hell if that happened," he laughed. "I am serious about wanting to know who I stuck my career on the line for. I know that I didn't really try before but I'm willing to if you are. You don't have to decide right now but it's up to you."_

_She regarded him for a long moment, "Can I think about it?"_

_He nodded, "Of course."_

_Chris could admit his surprise when she called him the next day and agreed to go with him. He didn't see much of her the first few days they were there, she seemed to be getting a lay of the land. His suspicions were confirmed on day three when he asked her how many exits she managed to find. He said it as a joke but Kirk's answer was very real: three ways out of the cabin and five ways off the property without the transporter._

_"Do you see threats everywhere you go, kid?" he asked. Kirk looked up from the PADD she was reading at the kitchen table._

_"When you grow up like I did, it's second nature," she sighed. "Trouble follows me, I don't even have to go looking for it. If I could have something even remotely normal I would take it in a heartbeat but that's not the hand I was dealt. I gotta play my cards the best way I know how."_

_"You wanna tell me about it? How you grew up?" he asked carefully. Kirk was not the kind to offer up information. He was sure that the only reason she gave him her file when she got on the shuttle was so she could control the information that he turned in with her application. There was no way in hell that she gave him everything, the important parts, maybe, but not everything._

_"My father died, my mom abandoned me with an alcoholic jerk who left me to fend for myself, my brother ran away, I got shipped off to Tarsus Four, Kodos slaughtered half the colony and then some, I saved some kids, I went to college, worked at the shipyard, then you recruited me. The end." The way Kirk said it was dismissive at best. Chris watched her for a minute, he had this feeling that Kirk wasn't used to talking about herself. Maybe she avoids it or nobody bothers to ask, probably a bit of both._

_"I know all this. I wanna hear about the stuff that's not in your file," Chris told her._

_Kirk chuckled, "I'm way to sober for that conversation." He was going to kick himself for this later but Chris decided that it was now or never._

_"I can fix that." He opened the cabinet next to his head and pulled out a bottle of bourbon. Kirk looked at him like she couldn't figure out if he was serious or not._

_After a minute, she sighed, "It's not pretty, Pike, and I don't know if giving one of my senior officers nightmares is a good idea."_

_He shook his head, "Right now, I'm Chris and you're Jim. I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to know. What you tell me here stays here. Cabin rules."_

_"Fine, we'll play truth or dare. That's the only way you're gonna get anything out of me and if I'm telling my secrets, so are you," she said._

_Chris thought about it for a second, "That's fair." He grabbed them each a glass and sat across from her before he poured them each a drink. Kirk downed hers in one shot, so he poured her another. "Truth or dare, Jim?"_

_"Truth," she answered._

_"Tell me about the alcoholic jerk," he said._

_"Uncle Frank, my mother's older brother," Kirk sighed. "He's an asshole and all around douchebag. I don't remember a time where he ever said anything nice to me or Sam. He acted like he was doing us this huge favor by living in my father's house, claiming all my father's possessions and drinking away all the credits Winona sent for our care. I don't even hate him, I feel sorry for him. He was as smart as Winona is but he blew it, drank himself stupid."_

_"Nobody said anything?" he asked._

_Kirk smiled, "You only get one at a time. Truth or dare?"_

_"Truth," he answered._

_"My parentage aside, why'd you really recruit me?" she asked. He knew that question was coming eventually._

_Chris thought about it for a minute, "You were in a fight with four people twice your size and you were still standing. Then the bartender said you worked at the yards. Even if he didn't mention who you were, I figured that your talents were being wasted in Riverside. I was right. Truth or dare?"_

_"Dare," she answered with a smirk.  
_

_"So, that's how you're gonna play it?" he chuckled. "Hmm... I dare you to do a one-handed headstand."_

_Kirk rolled her eyes, "For the record, that's easy." She stood from her seat and stepped out onto the patio. Kirk flipped into a headstand then moved all her weight onto her right arm for ten seconds or so before she stood up. She walked back into the cabin, sat in her seat and looked at him, "Truth or dare?"_

_"Truth."_

_"What did you do to get me into the Academy?" she asked. Chris knew this was the second question he'd have to answer one day._

_He sighed, "Not as much as you think. Your test scores were outstanding and your degrees helped but the brass was worried about your reason for joining up. I may have hinged my career on how well you do."_

_"So, what happens to you if I get in trouble or fail?" Kirk asked._

_"You only get one, remember," Chris said. "Just... don't get in trouble or fail. Truth or dare?"_

_She sighed, "Truth."_

_Chris poured them both another drink, "What was Tarsus like?"_

_"Hell. It was like walking through hell," Kirk downed her drink and poured herself another one. "What Kodos did wasn't even the worst of it. Some people killed others for food. Some people became cannibals. The things people did to each other. You wouldn't believe the things that the adults did to the children. You don't want to know the things I did to feed the kids I saved. It was bad all around." Her eyes focused on the glass in her hand and he he could tell that she wasn't here with him anymore. Chris wanted to ask but he didn't have the heart to pull her into those memories any more than he already had. He could see the heartbreak on her face as clear as day._

_She shook her head, probably in an effort to clear her thoughts before she looked at him, "Truth or dare?"_

_"Dare," he answered in an effort to distract her from herself._

_"I dare you to jump in the lake, clothes and all," Kirk said with a small smile._

_Chris chuckled, "Okay. Okay, I can do that." He took his watch off and pulled his communicator from his pocket before he walked outside, Jim right behind him with the bottle in her hand._

_"You can say no, Chris," she said as she_ _sat on the old wooden pier and took a drink from the bottle._

_He made a motion for the bourbon and she passed it to him. Chris took a drink before he passed it back. "You gave me a challenge. I never turn down a challenge."_

_"So, you're not gonna chicken out on me?" she asked with a laugh. Chris shook his head, took a breath and jumped into the water._

_The lake wasn't as cold as he was expecting it to be, which was a good thing. When he surfaced, Jim was watching him. He chuckled, "Come on in, water's nice. Unless, you're chicken." He watched her mull it over in her head before she shrugged, sat the bottle on the small pier, kicked off her sneakers and jumped in a few feet away from him._

_They stayed in the water for hours goofing off like a couple of teenagers, which, in Jim's case, wasn't that far off. Their game of truth or dare had tapered off into swapping stories about their various battle scars. Chris looked over at Jim as she watched the sun set with a genuine smile on her face. For the first time since that night in the bar, he finally saw her, the real James Kirk. He swam over and smiled, "Nice to finally meet you, Jim."_

_It took her a second to realize that he was referring to their conversation on her birthday. When she put it together, she chuckled, "Nice to meet you too, Chris."_

* * *

Briefings, briefings and more briefings. Marcus needed to know everything, so, after they laid Richard to rest, Chris, Jim and Spock spent much of the last five days in with the commanding officer of Starfleet, filling him in on everything that happened with Harrison. Chris could tell that Marcus was impressed with Jim's ability to work with the Klingons. The other admiral always believed that a war with the Empire was brewing. Thanks to Jim, the opposite was now the case and talks of an alliance were in the works.

Even though all this work was necessary, Chris wasn't going to pretend that he wasn't happy when the massive debrief was over. The look on Jim's face told him that she was thinking the same thing. They were ready to make a break for it when Marcus asked Jim to stay. Chris found himself in the turbolift with Spock.

He looked at his former first officer and noticed that while Spock was still as stoic as any other Vulcan, there was a humanity that he didn't have before. It wasn't obvious, but it was there if you looked hard enough. Chris could only assume that it was because of the young Vulcan's friendship with Jim and relationship with Uhura.

"You have been staring at me since we entered the turbolift. Is there an issue, sir?" Spock asked.

Chris shook his head, "No, just… you look well. Jim and Uhura keeping you on your toes?"

The commander nodded, "Indeed, they are." Most people would've missed the warmth in Spock's voice but Chris caught it. They walked through the lobby of HQ together and stepped out of the building before they spoke again. Well, Spock did most of the talking. "Sir, permission to speak freely?" Chris nodded and waited for Spock to continue. The scientist looked at Chris, "It is my understanding that when a human female engages in a relationship, the male members of her family insure that her suitor's intentions are pure. I experienced this upon my introduction to Lieutenant Uhura's father and brother. As Jim's father and older brother are deceased, that task falls to her friends. I am aware that you have already had such a conversation with Doctor McCoy. However, I must warn you that if you hurt her, Leonard will be the least of your problems."

The threat was as obvious as Spock's ears. Chris couldn't decide if he was pissed that Spock was threatening him or impressed at the loyalty Jim's friends have for her. He had no doubt that they would all risk their lives and careers on nothing more than her word. It takes most captains years to get that kind of devotion but Jim managed it in just one. He looked up at the tall officer, "If I hurt her, I won't care what you do to me."

Spock considered Chris' response for a moment before he accepted it. "Very well, sir."

* * *

"You got the five-year mission," Chris said to Jim when she walked into the apartment. The look on her face told him all he needed to know. Any captain worth their salt wanted the five-year deep space assignment and she was no exception. She didn't look too happy about her new orders though. Jim took off her uniform jacket before plopping down onto the couch next to him.

"Yea, I got it," Jim muttered.

"You know, most people would be excited. What's wrong?" he asked.

She looked at him, "It's too soon. I shouldn't even be the captain of…"

He put his hand up to cut her off, "You _are_ the captain of the Enterprise. It's not a fluke, Jim. You're lucky, kid, but not that lucky. I know you convinced yourself that your promotion was a PR stunt, and in some ways it was, but I've seen you in action and I know for a fact that you earned your command. So, let's talk about what's really bothering you."

"I… What if… uhh. What do we do about… this?" she mumbled.

"You mean us. I love you, that's not gonna change," Chris told her. "Question is what do you want?" Jim wouldn't look at him and Chris had the feeling that he wasn't gonna like what she had to say.

"I want you. I just… What if you find someone better than me? We've only been together for six weeks. I don't want to be the thing in the way of you being happy."

"Jim, look at me." She didn't and Chris sighed. Since she was being stubborn, he pulled her leg across his lap so she was straddling him and took her face in his hands. "Jim, I know you're used to people leaving you when things get hard or when they get what they want or they just leave with no real reason. I'm not them. It doesn't matter to me if you're here or out there, you can't get rid of me that easy. I'm yours until you tell me otherwise." The last part earned him a smile. "There's my girl. Now, let's try this again: You got the five-year mission."

"Of course I did, I'm awesome," Jim told him with a smile.

Chris chuckled, "That's what I was expecting you to say the first time. Congratulations, sweetheart. Because you're so awesome, I'm supposed to suggest that we go out to dinner to some fancy place that you'll hate, but I know better. So, we're gonna have a cookout at my parent's house. They're expecting us in an hour."

"Wait. You knew I got the mission before I did. I should kick you," she chuckled.

"I had orders not to tell you, but you're right, I knew before you did," he shrugged. "Go change. You might want to comm Rice and see if your brother can come, Joanna will be there too."

Jim brought their lips together in a gentle kiss, "I love you."

"I know."

* * *

"…so, your sister did this flip thing and dropped the creature on the deck. Then, I swooped in with the shuttle and pulled the Holy Trinity outta the fire. It was awesome," Sulu told Max. Chris could tell that Jim's little brother had found his hero. The helmsman has telling him stories all evening and Max has been asking all kinds of questions.

"The Holy Trinity?" Leslie asked.

"It's the dumb nickname that the crew uses for me, Bones and Spock," Jim said with a chuckle. "Bones thinks it's funny, Spock 'has no opinion on the matter', and I think it's silly. The crew gets a kick out of it, so I guess it's okay."

Chris was happy that at least one of Max's parents was making an effort to know Jim, even if it was the wrong one. When Jim called to see if Max could come to Charlie's, Leslie asked if he could join them, Jim's mother refused to come with her husband and son. Jim was sitting next to her step-dad, watching her brother interact with Sulu.

"I think we lost him to helm," Jim muttered.

Leslie chuckled, "Of course we did, pilots are cool. Not as cool as tacticians but still cool." Chris noticed that Jim and Leslie actually had a lot in common, if he didn't know any better, he could almost imagine that she was actually the man's daughter.

"Engineering is where it's at, lad. Ye should know that, yer maw is an engineer," Scotty jumped in. Jim tried to stop the Scot from talking about her mother. Max was furious with Winona. According to Jim and Leslie, Max asked his mother why she left her children and why she didn't tell them about Jim and George junior. Winona refused to answer him. The kid told his mother that he wasn't talking to her until she could tell him why she threw her other children away.

"My mom's a bitch, dude. She owes me an explanation and an apology. I'm not talking to her until I get them both," Max said in a tone that reminded Chris of a very pissed off Jim.

They all watched Jim as she put her hand on his shoulder, "Don't hate her on my account, Max. It's not worth it."

"I don't hate her because of you. She lied to me. I'm almost thirteen and I met my twenty-six year old sister a month ago. Every year for my birthday, I would wish for a sibling. She would laugh me off but she never once told me that I had a brother and sister out in the universe. Our brother died a couple months ago and I never even got a chance to meet him or his son. If it wasn't for that crazy Romulan, I still wouldn't know about you," Max said.

There wasn't much any of them could really say to that. Max was right. Chris had stopped wondering what Winona was thinking a long time ago and he knew too much about Jim to ever be able to like the woman. As angry as Max was, it was a good thing the kid was kept in the dark about how Jim and George junior grew up, he'd be mad at his mother more than he already is.

Finally, Joanna broke the tension, "I bet I can do more handstands than you, man."

Max rolled his eyes, "Dream on, Jo."

"Put up or shut up, Rice," Joanna said.

That earned a laugh from Max, "Oh, it's on, McCoy." The pair ran off to the lawn and had a handstand contest.

"I think my kid likes your brother, Jim," McCoy muttered.

"Or, they'll be like us. You know, best friends till the very end," she shrugged.

The doctor sighed, "I hope that's it."

"There's nothing wrong with my brother, Bonesy," Jim glared at her best friend. "He's right, she should've told him."

"Not just him," Leslie told her. "When I met your mother, she was using her ex-husband's last name. I didn't realize that she was Winona Kirk until we'd been together for almost a year. I asked about you and George junior, she told me that you both died and she couldn't talk about it. Imagine how I felt when you saved the world and the press started talking about your parents. I asked her about it and she changed her story, said she _thought_ you were dead but didn't know for sure."

"That's so fucked up," Gaila mumbled. They all looked at her. The Orion shrugged, "What? It is."

"This is supposed to a party, not a lynch mob for Jimmy's mother," Charlie said as he looked around at the group of officers. "Not that I can blame you, I got a few choice words for her myself but that's not what today is about. We're supposed to be celebrating. Now, someone go over there and make sure the kids don't break their necks." McCoy, Leslie, Jim, Sulu, Scotty and Chekov went to monitor, or in Jim, Chekov and Sulu's case, join, the handstand contest. "And you, go help your mom."

Chris nodded, "You got it, Hoss."


	9. Nine

"I don't think I've ever seen you in a suit," Jim said as she got out of the cab.

"Probably not," Chris smiled. He looked at her as she stood in front of him and he was in awe. He groaned, "You're gonna be the death of me, sweetheart." Jim was wearing a maroon dress that fit to her waist before flaring out and stopping at her knees. The neckline was a deep v that stopped at the bottom of her ribs, just the right mix of classy and sexy. It was beautiful and she was beautiful in it. Chris sighed, "What am I gonna do with you?"

"Oh, I can think of a few things. After dinner though, I'm starving," Jim said before pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

"I suppose I can wait for my desert," he smiled.

She chuckled, "If this is the reaction I get, maybe I should let Gaila dress me more often."

Chris nodded, "Maybe you should. Remind me to thank her, later."

* * *

He couldn't take his eyes off Jim the whole night, and he wasn't the only one. Somewhere in the back of his head, he knew that she was the fleet's golden girl and all kinds of people wanted her but it was never real to him because he knew Jim before she saved the world. It might've also had something to do with the way she looked at him, even when people were trying to flirt with her or get her attention, Jim's striking blue eyes were on him. It was a heady feeling, knowing that everyone wanted this amazing woman but she only wanted him.

"What are you doin', Chris?" Jim mumbled.

He ran his hand along her spine and smiled, "Watching you sleep. I'm gonna miss having you here all the time."

"You're gonna miss having someone cook real food for you all the time," she chuckled.

"Well, that too," he smiled. "I always eat better when you're around. You know, of all your skills, that one surprised me the most."

"Girl's gotta eat. You almost starve to death; you have a healthy appreciation for food."

"You know, I remember the first time you cooked for me," he told her.

Jim chuckled against his chest, "I don't see how, you were sick as a dog and you passed out before I even started."

"That's why I remember it," Chris said. "You impressed Charlie, which is almost impossible to do."

He felt her lips curve into a smile against his skin. "I did not. He thought I was sleeping with you for my grades."

Chris sighed, "He did think that before he met you but he didn't think that after. If he did, he never brought it up again."

_"You look like crap, sir," Jim told him as she walked into his office._

_"There is no cure for the common cold, Kirk," he reminded her. Chris woke up feeling like death warmed over. He stopped by medical and Boyce told him there was nothing he could do but rest. Of course, Chris was not the type to listen to minor medical advice. So, here he sat, at his desk meeting with cadets even though he could barely see straight. Jim was the only one brave enough to say anything._

_"May I?" Jim asked. Before Chris could respond, she leaned over his desk and pressed her hand against his head. He might've moaned at the feeling of her cool hand on his overheated skin but he's not sure. She sighed, "You're burning up. You probably have a low-grade fever. You really should be in bed." Chris gave her a look and she shrugged, "You have met my roommate, right? You know, Leonard 'I'm a Doctor, not anything else' McCoy. I pay attention to what he says, even if I don't act like it. Come on, I'll drive you home and walk back."_

_"That's not necessary, Kirk."_

_Jim rolled her eyes, "You go out of your way to look out for me, I'm returning the favor. If you don't rest, you won't get better anytime soon. Would you rather be laid up a few days? Or do you wanna be sick for a week or longer?" He really wanted to argue with her but he didn't have the energy; which was the whole point if this conversation._

_"I'm not gonna win this one, am I?" Chris asked._

_"If you ignore me I'll just comm Bones," she said as she shook her head. "Cadet or not, he's not shy about using his medical authority on people. Might even get a kick out of assigning a captain SIQ. I bet some doctor already told you to rest anyway."_

_"Boyce. How'd you know that?" Chris asked._

_"Because other than Bones, I avoid medical professionals. I made it an art form at this point. They tell you to do something, you nod and agree but you have no real intention of doing anything they told you. I can't really do that with Bones, he caught me the last time I tried, but everyone else is fair game," she smiled. Strangely, Chris knew exactly what she meant. If he wasn't dying, he'd tell the doctor one thing and go back to work anyway._

_"Fine, I'll go home. Send Tyler in here for a few minutes," he told her. Jim nodded and left his office, a minute later, his yeoman entered. The conversation was quick and simple. If it wasn't important, it could wait. If it was important, his new teaching assistant could handle it._

_Chris chuckled at the look on Jim's face, "It's what I wanted to see you about. I need a TA and you need something to do, you're flying through your classes. It's a win-win. Unfortunately, I gotta throw you to the wolves for the next few days."_

_"I can handle it, sir," she told him._

_Chris smiled as she walked with him into his apartment, "I know."_

_"Go change and get into bed, Chris. I'll make you some soup, okay?" Jim said.  
_

_Chris nodded, "Okay." He was more tired than he thought he was. Chris remembered pulling off his uniform, putting on a t-shirt and sweatpants and climbing into his bed, but everything after that is a blur._

_When he opened his eyes, it was getting dark outside. He was sore and thirsty. Chris also remembered that Jim was in the apartment when he fell asleep. He pushed himself out of bed and found himself alone. There was a note on his refrigerator:_

Chris,  
You fell asleep and I had a class. Homemade chicken noodle soup is in the fridge. Orange juice too, I made a grocery run. Bones said drink plenty of water and he left a mild painkiller on the counter because you're probably sore. I graded the papers for your Fed History class, PADD's on the counter for review. I also talked to your dad, nice guy. He said he'll stop by. I checked in with Tyler, all your meetings were rescheduled except one but the two of us will take care of it for you.  
I'll check on you later, call if you need anything in the meantime.  
JK

_Chris chuckled, for someone who spent most of her life alone, Jim had a knack for taking care of others. He reviewed Jim's grading while he waited for his soup to heat up. Chris only looked at three assignments before deciding to publish the grades. Kid was good._

_Jim sped though Fed history when she took it with him in her first semester. It was one of those classes that you couldn't test out of no matter how good you were, everyone had to take it. She did all the work for the class within the first week and practically slept through the semester. Pissed a bunch of people off when she got the highest grade in the class. He was even accused of favoritism but Admiral Johnson reviewed Jim's grades for every class she took and killed the accusation. If anything, she was graded more harshly than her classmates and that's why Johnson had to check her grades.  
_

_He decided to eat before he commed Charlie and he was glad he did. Chris realized that he hadn't eaten anything all day and he was hungry. It took him less than a minute to figure out that Jim's soup was really good. Where the hell did that kid learn how to cook? He didn't get a chance to think about it too much when the door to his apartment opened._

_"You look like shit," Charlie said after he got a good look at Chris._

_The captain shrugged, "I feel like it. What are you doin' here, Hoss?"_

_Charlie touched his son's head, "Talked to your TA, she said you were sick. Hobelia sent soup. Real soup and not that replicated crap you're eating."_

_"It's real. Kirk made it," Chris mumbled before his dad could take the bowl._

_"Your TA made you soup?" Charlie asked._

_"It's really good too," Chris sighed. "I gotta ask her where she got the recipe because I'm stealing it."_

_His father sighed, "Please tell me you aren't sleeping with her."_

_Chris snorted, "I ain't that lucky, Hoss. Despite what some people think, we're friends, that's all."_

_"She brought you home from the office and made you soup and you want me to believe that you're just friends." Chris was too tired for this conversation._

_"Yes. You can ask her yourself, her note said she'd check on me."  
_

_As if on cue, the door to his apartment opened and Jim walked in with a stack of PADDs in her arm and sporting a black eye. "What happened to you?" Jim gave him a look and he pointed at her face._

_"Oh," she smiled, "your intermediate hand-to-hand class. I'm okay, you should see the other guy. One of the jerks from the bar in Riverside didn't take dealing with me over you too well. Learned his lesson. You must be Chief Pike, nice to meet you. Jim Kirk."_

_"Cadet," Charlie said coolly._

_Chris sighed, "He thinks we're sleeping with each other."_

_"Doesn't everybody at this point?" Jim asked sarcastically. "We're not together, Chief. I'm flattered that all these people think I'm that lucky though."_

_"That's what I said," the younger Pike said. "Whatcha got for me, kid?"_

_"Commander Thakiv taught your Interspecies Protocol class, his notes and assessments are on this PADD. It's a good read. Then, my notes and grades for your hand-to-hand class. And Captain Forester taught your Combat Strategies class, these are his notes and mine. I took your Enterprise update meeting, here are my notes from that too." And that's why he made her his TA.  
_

_Chris smiled, "Publish the grades from the hand-to-hand class. Review Thakiv and Forester's notes and give me a full report on both. And notify Saunders of any changes you feel need to be done to the Enterprise."_

_"Just like that," Charlie sighed, "you're not even gonna check her work?"_

_"She's smarter than me and I trust her, she wouldn't be my TA if I didn't," Chris told his father. "So, yeah, just like that."_

_"Anything else?" Jim asked._

_"Where'd you learn how to cook?" Chris asked._

_She chuckled, "Not telling. Soup recipe is Grandpa Tiberius' though. I_ might _give it to you just so it doesn't die with me. And you should go back to bed. How you feelin'?"_

_"I feel like crap. You're worst than McCoy," he sighed._

_"I am not. Bones carries hypos," Jim pointed out._

_Chris snorted, "That's true. Hoss…"_

_"She's right, go to bed. I'm sure the cadet and I will be fine without you," his father told him. That actually made Chris feel worse._

_"Don't interrogate my TA, she's been through hell and back and the last thing she needs is you thinking you're protecting me from her. Kirk's a tough chick but there are some things… just be nice, Hoss."_

"My dad was smitten with you after that. I swear, if he wasn't married, he would've went for it," he told her.

Jim laughed, "Well, I do love Charlie. But, seriously, we talked about a lot of stuff, including you. That's all. I think he saw this coming."

Chris smiled, "You and me? He definitely did. I think he expected it to be sooner though."

She nodded, "So did Bones."

* * *

Watching Jim pack was like watching a barely controlled tornado. "How the hell do I have so much stuff?"

Chris chuckled, "I don't know, sweetheart."

"You're enjoying this," she smiled.

"Maybe a little. You need help?"

She shook her head, "No. I got it. I'm… I'm just not used to having stuff. I joined up with the clothes on my back and a small backpack, you know that."

He did know that. Until their credits kicked in, Jim and McCoy wore their uniforms or the clothes he recruited them in. It didn't matter too much since they were still getting settled and he didn't see much of them in those first weeks anyway. While other cadets complained about the dumbest stuff under the sun, Jim and McCoy just seemed content with real beds to sleep in, three meals a day and hot showers. Chris didn't know the details about why at the time, but he wished he could bottle up their appreciation of the simple things to pass out to the others.

"Do you need to take it all with you?"he asked.

"No, I donated a bunch of stuff to the orphanage. Jeans, shirts, snickers… you know, stuff for the older girls to wear. That's why I can't believe I have so much left. It fits, see." The bag was closed and aside from what she was wearing, her leather jacket and a uniform, that was everything. Jim's whole life fit into an oversized seabag and a garment bag, that fact made him a little sad.

"Hey," she whispered as she stood between his legs and rested her hands on his shoulders.

Chris smiled and leaned his head against her chest, "This sucks."

"That your professional option, Vice Admiral Pike?" Jim asked with a chuckle.

"It is, Captain Kirk," he smiled. "Don't die on me, please."

She forced him to look up at her, "I can't promise you that. I'll do my best though." Chris nodded before he pulled her into a kiss. Jim sighed against his lips, "I love you."

"I love you too," Chris smiled. Jim was quiet, more quiet than he's ever seen her. "What's wrong, Jimmy?"

She sighed, "Do you honestly think I'm ready? I mean five years is a long time and I… What if I screw this up?"

"You probably will. I did on my first deep space mission. All young captains do. You learn from it. You grow. You figure out what not to do the next time. Unlike a lot of captains, you already have your crew's loyalty and respect, that's half the battle. For what it's worth, I think you'll be great, Captain."

* * *

The shuttle bay was full of people. He wasn't surprised by that at all. The Enterprise had a crew of four hundred and forty-seven people, most of those people had families there to see them off. Even though his father was Starfleet, Chris realized that he has never been to a departure where he wasn't leaving. Usually, he'd be checking up on some stuff and talking to families, which is what Jim was doing.

Unlike the rest of the crew, the senior staff members were all in their dress gray uniforms, making them easier to spot. Chris found McCoy with his family and Jim's. Max saw Chris before anyone else did. The young man smiled, "Admiral."

"Mister Rice. You see your sister, yet?" Chris asked with a smile.

The kid shook his head, "No. I don't even know if she knows I'm here. Mister Bones is keeping his mother away from mom and dad is over there with Pavel."

"Jim's over there with Sulu's little sister, Yuki," Chris pointed out the young Asian girl in cadet reds having an animated conversation with Jim.

"You think she'll mind if I went over and said hi?" Max asked with a smile.

"I don't think she'll mind one bit," the admiral told the young man and off Max went.

"I swear that kid is in heaven," McCoy muttered.

"Can't really blame him, can we?" Chris asked.

Jim's best friend shook his head, "Guess not."

"Good luck out there, Leonard," Chris looked at the southerner. "Keep an eye on her for me."

"I'll keep her alive," the doctor said. "Can't really do anything else, she doesn't listen to me."

Chris chuckled, "It's not just you."

"I know,"McCoy chuckled, "that's the only reason I don't take it personally. You met my mama, right?"

"He did, back when you graduated. It's nice to see you on your feet, Admiral," Misses McCoy said to him.

Chris smiled, "It's good to be on my feet, ma'am. If it wasn't for Leonard, I wouldn't be."

"You did all the work, sir," McCoy rolled his eyes. Chris heard a chuckle behind him, he knew it was Jim.

"You're an amazing doctor, Bones. Take the compliment, especially from an admiral who's not so easy to impress," the captain smiled.

"You managed to impress him," McCoy muttered to Jim.

"It took me a few years and I saved his life," Jim pointed out.

"You impressed me before you saved my life, but you're right, it took a few years," Chris said. "It's time, isn't it?"

"Yep. Boldly goin' and all that jazz," Jim said.

Max was the first person to hug her, "Be careful, Jimmy."

"I will do my best. Tell me how that science project goes and behave," she told her brother. He nodded and stepped back so his father could hug Jim.

"Feels like we just got ya and now you're leaving. Maybe I'll see you out there," Leslie said.

Jim looked up at her step-dad, "Maybe you will. Take care of the kid, Les." He nodded and let her go. Winona didn't say much of anything so Jim and Misses McCoy shared a moment that was more motherly than anything he's ever seen between Jim and Winona.

Finally, Jim looked up at Chris. They weren't hiding their relationship by any means but they didn't flaunt it either. The pair said their goodbyes in private so they could avoid the unnecessary attention. The last thing Chris wanted was her mission to start with the headline that she's sleeping with an admiral, all the George Kirk comparisons were enough. "Crazy not stupid, kid."

"You know me, Chris," she said with a wink.

"Yeah, I do. Be careful out there and have some fun."

She smiled, "Can do." Jim gave him a quick hug before she stepped back and rendered a perfect hand salute, "Sir."

Chris returned the gesture, "Captain." She smiled at him before she joined the rest of her senior staff on the last shuttle to the Enterprise. Everyone watched as they took off before leaving the shuttlebay.

"This sucks," Max mumbled.

Chris nodded, "That's what I said, kid."

* * *

Chris was getting ready for bed when his PADD pinged. He almost ignored it, figuring it was work but something told him to check. He was glad he did.

_From: Capt Kirk, James T. CO, USS Enterprise NCC 1701_  
To: VAdm Pike, Christopher, R. OIC, Constitution-class vessels, FLEETCOM  
Designation: Personal

_Chris,_  
I Love you. Sweet dreams.  
JK

Chris smiled. Leave it to Jim to send him a simple yet meaningful message. He typed a quick reply before getting into bed. Chris took a deep breath, the pillows smelled like Jim's shampoo, vanilla and orange blossoms. "I can do this."

* * *

"Don't laugh at me, Jim."

She sighed on the other end of the comm, "I'm sorry. It's cute, which isn't really you. You're handsome and... oh, so sexy but not cute. I've only been gone two weeks."

"You know, part of the reason I never got married was because I didn't like the idea of leaving someone behind while I went exploring the universe," he chuckled. "We're not married but here we are. You're out exploring and I'm left behind."

"Sweetheart, you are an Admiral. If you want to take a ship, Marcus would probably let you. Although, I do get your point. Now, tell me what's really bothering you."

He sighed, "I miss Richard. If he were here and I was mopin', he'd find something for me to do. Some way to distract me. Cliff tries but it's not the same. So, here I am. My girl is out in the universe being awesome and my best friend's dead."

Jim looked at him for a moment before a devious smile crossed her features. "Oh, man the fuck up, Chris, and quit your bitchin'. So, your girlfriend's away, big deal."

Chris laughed at Jim's spot on impression of Richard, "That sounds like him. I can't believe he's gone." For a while, Chris talked about Richard and Jim just listened. At one point, Chris realized something important, "What time is it on the Enterprise?"

"Late," Jim said with a shrug.

He nodded, "I'm keeping you up."

"Not really… Okay, maybe a little but I like talking to you," she smiled.

Chris smiled, "I know, but you need to sleep. I love you."

"I love you too, Chris."


	10. Ten

_From: Capt Kirk, James T. CO, USS Enterprise NCC 1701_   
_To: VAdm Pike, Christopher, R. OIC, Constitution-class vessels, FLEETCOM_ _  
_ _Designation: Personal_

_Hey,_   
_I might've pissed off High Commissioner Ferris and he threatened to file a report, so heads up._   
_Love you,_   
_JK_

Chris chuckled as he read the message. What did she do? Granted, Ferris is a jerk and Chris hates the man with a passion but the fact that Jim knew a complaint was forthcoming meant she did something. The Enterprise was tasked with delivering Ferris and a crap-ton of medical gear to Makus Three. From there, the gear would go to New Paris where a plague was ravishing the population. Jim wasn't the type to wait around while something like that happened, so he had no idea why Ferris would be upset with her. He opened the messenger system on his console and entered in Jim's information.

_Starfleet Network Subspace Text Communication_  
_From: Pike SC731-0034 CCG_  
 _To: Kirk SC937-0176 CEC_

_Pike: What did you do?_

A few minutes passed before he got a response.

_Kirk: Depends on what we're talking about._  
_Pike: Ferris_  
 _Kirk: Followed my orders. Then, I didn't abandon my crew._  
 _Pike: Sounds like a long story._  
 _Kirk: Not long. I have a standing order to study phenomena. Followed it. Shuttle crashed. I searched for the crew. Ferris didn't like it. He took command. I took it back. Found my people. We were early to Makus 3, so he bitched for no reason._  
 _Pike: Is that what the report says?_  
 _Kirk: Mine does. Spock's too. Don't know about Ferris', don't care._  
 _Pike: Well, Vulcans don't lie. If one is backing you up…_  
 _Kirk: I know. Hard to argue with Spock, I've tried._  
 _Pike: How are you otherwise?_  
 _Kirk: I'm ok._  
 _Pike: Just ok?_  
 _Kirk: I miss you._  
 _Pike: I miss you too._  
 _Kirk: I can't believe it's only been 2 months. Feels longer._  
 _Pike: We were single before. It didn't seem like a big deal._  
 _Kirk: True_

Before Chris could type out a reply, Marcus walked into his office. Chris was quick to his feet, "Sir."

Marcus smiled, "As you were, Pike. I got an assignment for you." The younger admiral nodded as Marcus lad out what was needed of him. When Chris was alone in his office again, he looked at the screen. Jim had sent him another message.

_Kirk: No rest for the weary._

He chuckled before typing out a reply.

_Pike: Tell me about it._  
_Pike: I had a visit from Marcus_  
 _Kirk: Anything good?_  
 _Pike: We'll see. I gotta go. Be safe._  
 _Kirk: Not until we all are. I love you._  
 _Pike: Love you too._

* * *

Chris hated these conferences. Dealing with politicians was not his thing, he's a soldier, not a diplomat. Of course, this was his own damn fault. Why send some kid from the diplomatic corps when a there was a decorated admiral who had first-hand experience with the issue on deck. Chris closed his eyes and sighed. At least there was one very good part of this whole thing, all the dignitaries were being transported to Babel on the same ship.

He smiled when the sleek lines of the Federation's flagship filled the viewport next to him. When he told Jim that he was gonna be on the Enterprise for a few days, she did a happy dance, literally. Chris got a laugh out of her dancing around her quarters in one of his dress shirts that she 'borrowed.'

He and the others in the shuttle listened as their pilot received clearance to dock from Gaila, at least, he thought it was her. She's usually in charge of Engineering when Scotty wasn't there. Despite it being the middle of Gamma shift, Jim, Uhura and Spock were waiting in the shuttle bay. His girl looked as gorgeous as she always does standing next to a shuttle in the unisex duty uniform.

When everyone disembarked, Jim welcomed them and promised not to keep them long, since it was the middle of the 'night' and they've all been traveling. She gave a quick rundown of the itinerary, then she directed everyone to Spock for room assignments and Uhura for any communication issues before bidding them all a good night.

Jim answered a few questions before the assembled group turned their attention to Spock and Uhura, Chris followed Jim. "Captain Kirk."

"Sir," she replied. They stepped into the turbolift together, close enough to feel each others warmth but not touching, and they didn't say anything. It was probably for the best, he only had so much control and it was slipping a lot faster than he thought it would. The last thing either of them needed was to be caught in a compromising position in a turbolift.

The walk to her quarters was agonizingly slow, at least it was in his head. Of course, it didn't matter once they were inside the room and the door closed behind him. Jim mumbled a command for the computer to secure the room, then she was in his arms. Her face was pressed against his neck and her arms were locked around his waist. He wrapped his own arms around Jim and held her tight against his body. Chris took a deep breath and got a lungful of Jim: vanilla and orange blossoms with a slight metallic undercurrent. He knew that she'd been working down in Engineering at some point in the last day.

"Missed you," Jim mumbled against his neck.

"I know. I missed you too," he sighed. "You have no idea how much I missed you, sweetheart."

"I think I have some idea," she looked up at him. Jim shifted and judging from the smirk on her face, she was well aware of the affect it had on him.

"That's not nice," he moaned. Jim didn't say anything, she just started unfastening his uniform jacket. Once she got it off, Jim hung it on her desk chair. She pushed his t-shirt over his head and pressed kisses along his skin. He groaned, "James."

She looked up at him, her blue eyes swirling with a few different emotions, "Christopher."

That was it, the last of his control was gone. Chris tangled his hands in her hair, destroying the perfect bun, as he crushed his lips to hers. Jim moaned into his mouth, her hands trying to get the rest of his clothes off. Chris doesn't know how they made it to her bed and he really didn't care. He broke the kiss long enough to pull her uniform off, revealing every inch of her toned and slightly tan skin. Jim was flushed from her head to her toes and her body practically vibrated in his arms. Chris kissed along her jaw as he slid into her and it was like heaven on Earth. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, savoring the feeling of Jim wrapped around him.

The ship could get blown out of the black for all he cared in that moment. They moved together hard and fast and Chris wished he could've taken his time. It was a good thing that Jim didn't seem to mind one bit. She wrapped her legs around him, her nails were biting into his skin as he brought her closer to that high.

"Chris," fell from Jim's lips. Their eyes locked and he could swear she was looking straight into his soul.

Their lips fused together again, their bodies saying everything that 'I love you' just didn't cover. Chris knew she was close, hell, so was he. It was crazy how in tune they were, like the last three months they've been apart never happened.

"I… I…" she started.

Chris dropped kisses along her collarbone, "What do you need, sweetheart?" He felt her body tighten around him.

Jim practically cried, "Don't stop."

"Can't. Don't want to," he muttered. Chris shifted his weight, changing the angle of his movements and Jim came completely undone, her back arched and her whole body shuddered beneath him as she moaned his name. Watching Jim like that, because of him, was too much for Chris and he followed right behind her. He rested his forehead against hers and they didn't do anything except breathe the same air.

"Maybe there's a plus to having all these people on my ship," Jim whispered.

Chris chuckled, "I know how much you hate politics. Figured I'd give you something else to focus on."

"Keep tellin' yourself that," she laughed.

"I plan to," he smiled. Chris gave her a quick kiss before he rolled to his side and pulled Jim against his chest.

"How'd you really get stuck with this assignment?" Jim asked.

"Marcus asked. I don't like dealing with politicians any more than you do but I wasn't gonna pass up the chance to see you. Even if it means I gotta play referee for this conference."

Jim smiled, "That's sweet."

"Is not," Chris whispered.

"You wanted to see me so bad that you're gonna subject yourself to a group of dignitaries arguing about a planet," she kissed his neck. "It's very sweet."

He rolled his eyes, "You goin' soft on me, Jim?"

"Maybe a little, don't tell anybody that you can turn Captain Kirk into a mushy girl. It'll kill my reputation."

"Your secret is safe with me, sweetheart."

* * *

"Captain's log, stardate 2259.127. The interplanetary conference will consider the petition of the planet Coridan planet to be admitted into the Federation. The Coridan system has been claimed by some of the races now aboard our ship as delegates, many who have strong personal reasons for keeping Coridan out of the UFP. The most pressing problem aboard the Enterprise is to make sure that open warfare does not break out among the delegates before the conference begins. Computer, save log." Jim spoke to the computer.

"I always get a kick out of your logs. Most of the time, I can tell how you're feeling just by your voice," Chris told her. Like every captain, she tries for neutral and most of the time it works but some missions, Jim doesn't hide how she feels and he can hear it. He sat on the edge of her desk and looked around her ready room, "Everything okay?"

"I broke up a fight already. Oh, and there's a ship following us. I'll add it to the log when I have more info," she sighed. Chris already knew about the fight. The Tellarite ambassador, Gav, has a particular dislike for Sarek, the Vulcan ambassador and Spock's father. Tellarites like to argue in general but the man threatened Sarek in a room full of people. Chris almost forgot how fast news spreads through a ship when he heard about it a few minutes after it happened.

"Any ideas on who our tail might be?"

Jim shook her head, "Not yet, we're working on it."

"Wouldn't be the Enterprise if your crew wasn't on it," he smiled.

"Well, we aren't the flagship for nothing," she smiled. "I…" Jim's comm beeped, cutting her off. She opened it and read the message. She took a deep breath, "Security just found Gav's body stuffed in a Jefferies."

* * *

"Make a hole!" Chris called to the officers in his way as he ran, yes ran, through the Enterprise. The kids jumped against the bulkheads like their asses were on fire. It was a good thing to because he really didn't have time to read anyone the riot act. Not with Jim getting stabbed in the corridor near her quarters.

McCoy was already there trying to check Jim over when Chris got there. His girl was bleeding and all kinds of pissed off, she wasn't the only one. Jim looked at the group of officers with her attacker. With a calm that betrayed her injuries, she looked at the burly lieutenant from that bar fight in Riverside. "Hendorff, take him to the brig. Then get me everything you can find on him."

"Yes, ma'am," the security officer nodded before he and two red shirts practically pushed the Andorian into the turbolift.

"Back to work, people. If you don't have anything to do, I'm sure that Commander Spock has a list of things that could use some bodies," Jim ordered from the bulkhead she was leaning against. All the officers who weren't needed scattered in a millisecond.

"I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed," Chris said as he knelt next to her.

"Both," she smirked. "Help me up."

McCoy shook his head, "No. You were stabbed, you're losing blood and there is no way in hell I'm letting you walk to sickbay. Don't even bother arguing with me, I got back-up today."

Jim looked at her best friend, "I can't stay on the deck all day, Bones. I got shit to do. For the record, he won't be here forever. I'll be right back to pissing you off next week and you know it. Just you wait."

"Tell me again why we're friends," McCoy said to her.

"I'm awesome and you're awesome. It stands to reason that we'd be more awesome together," Jim said.

"Careful, wouldn't want your boyfriend to get the wrong idea, Jimmy," McCoy told her.

She smiled, "Oh please, he's more awesome than both of us combined."

"I'll have to remember that," Chris chuckled. "You know, this is gonna hurt." She nodded as she wrapped one arm around Chris' shoulder and the other around McCoy, the two men pulled her to her feet. Jim made a small noise but that was it, she handles physical pain rather well.. She took a breath before they moved to the turbolift.

"He's not Andorian, Thelev, the guy who stabbed me. He doesn't fight like an Andorian," Jim mumbled.

"Spock and I will figure it out, Jimmy. You just let McCoy do his job. Can't have you dying on me," Chris told her before the door opened outside of medical. Nurse Chapel was ready for them when they got there and helped get Jim on the biobed without causing her more pain.

Jim looked at him, "Go, Chris. I'm good. Bones is about to knock me out, anyway."

As soon as she said the words, her best friend hyposprayed her in the neck. Chris looked at McCoy, "Keep me updated."

The man Jim loved like a brother nodded, "Yes, sir."

* * *

"So, I was right about Thelev?" Jim asked.

Chris nodded, "He was Orion. They're the only ones with anything to gain from disrupting the conference."

"So they could keep looting Coridan's dilithium mines," she muttered.

"Careful, your genius is showing," he smiled.

"Like you haven't seen all my bits and pieces already," Jim chuckled. "This is not how wanted to spend your visit."

"You sure you don't want to be in bed with me?" Chris asked.

"I love being in bed with you. I'm just too tired to do anything about it and it's frustrating," she told him.

He ran his hand through her hair and smiled, "You got stabbed, sweetheart. I don't care what we do as long as you're breathing."

"You said that to me before," Jim smirked.

"I did? When?"

She sighed, "That week I was in the hospital after the Farragut. You thought I was asleep and you said something like…"

He cut her off, "'I don't care what happened, just keep breathing, kid.' I didn't know you heard that. You scared the shit outta me."

_"How many?" Chris asked Boyce. The doctor was overseeing the transfer of injured officers from the Farragut to Starfleet Medical on Earth. The Farragut was surveying the planet Tycho Four, when they were attacked by an unknown creature. According to the reports, the creature was impervious to phaser fire and overwhelmed the ship's defenses, leaving a third of the crew dead, including Captain Garrovick. Acting Lieutenant Kirk assumed temporary command and set a course for the nearest starbase._

_After First Officer Commander Arthur Chenowyth resumed command, the damaged Farragut was attacked again, this time by extra-dimensional being who invaded the ship through hull-piercing pod projectiles. More crew members were killed. In order to save the nearly two hundred surviving members of the crew, Lieutenant Kirk and a Vulcan science officer named T'Cel manually scuttled the secondary hull to save the saucer section._

_"Forty-three injured, two hundred seventy-eight killed, including the Captain. It's a mess. I got a few of your cadets in here. The one I need to talk to you about is Kirk."_

_"James Kirk?" Chris asked his friend._

_Phil nodded, "Yea. She's been keeping us on our toes. She's allergic to one of the medications they gave her on the ship, so we had to give her something to counteract that, while dealing with all the trauma to her body. They had to put her in a coma. We'll try to keep an eye on her but her medical records are a mess."_

_"There's a cadet, Doctor Leonard McCoy. He's her doctor and he knows everything, even if it's not in the records. He should be able to fill in the holes,"Chris said. He wasn't sure how much McCoy knew of Jim's time before she got to San Fran but it was sure to be more than Chris knew. Jim may not be an open book but McCoy was just too good of a doctor to miss the holes and gaps in her information.  
_

_"That's good to know but not why I commed you," Boyce nodded. "You're listed as her next of kin." Chris didn't know that. If you asked him, he would've guessed that she picked McCoy.  
_

_"I recruited her. I guess you could say we're friends. I didn't know but I'm not as surprised as I probably should be. Can I see her?" Phil nodded and led him through the hospital to Jim's room. The first thing he noticed was how pale she was. Jim looked weak and it didn't suit her at all. "What happened to her?" Chris asked._

_"She saved our asses, sir," a voice said from behind him. Chris turned and found himself face-to-face with Commander Chenowyth._

_"That's kinda Kirk's thing, Commander," Chris told him._

_Chenowyth smiled, "When I first met her, I dreaded working with her. Pretty girl, big family name, figured she was an idiot with a pass. Third day on the ship, the Chief Engineer is talking our ears off about this amazing cadet who helped him with his matter/antimatter project. Kirk. So, I watched her at the tactical console. She works like someone who's been at it for years. When that… thing showed up, Kirk got us away. The projectiles from the second creature are how she got injured. I didn't even know she_ was _hurt at the time, she worked until we were safe, then she collapsed. I was so wrong about her. I'm glad I was. Will you let me know when she wakes up, sir?"_

_"Can do, Commander," Chris nodded. He watched as Chenowyth looked at Jim for a second before leaving the room. Boyce rested a hand on Chris' shoulder before he left to go talk to McCoy. Chris sat down to wait her out._

_That's what Chris did. Every day, he went to his office and did a million and one things, spent his lunch checking on Jim, went back to work, grabbed a quick dinner and checked on Jim again. That's what he did every day for five days. He talked to her, per McCoy's advice. He wasn't there when she woke up on day six but he stopped by to visit her that evening._

_"You look like shit, kid."_

_Jim chuckled, "Feel like it." Her voice sounded like gravel and it took some effort for her to move._

_"You okay?" he asked. He wasn't just asking about her physical well-being, he was asking about her thoughts and feelings too and the look on her face told him that she knew it.  
_

_"I'm not dead, anything else is manageable," she answered.  
_

_Chris raised an eyebrow, "How many times have you told yourself that one?"_

_"A few. I have a knack for getting into trouble, remember?" Jim shrugged.  
_

_"That's something I'm not likely to forget." Jim's eyes drooped and he could tell she was fighting sleep. Chris smiled, "It's okay, kid, sleep." She nodded and quickly dozed off. "I don't care what happened, just keep breathing, kid."_

* * *

Chris didn't want to leave the Enterprise. If Jim could've found a reason to keep him on the ship, he was sure she would've. Jim smiled, "So, until next time?"

"Until next time," he smiled. "Do me a favor and stay out of trouble. Oh, and don't drive McCoy crazy. I doubt we could find another doctor to put up with you."

"That hurts my feelings. I'll let it slide if you kiss it better," she smirked. Chris didn't need to be told twice. He pulled her against his body and pressed his lips against hers. After a few seconds, Jim deepened the kiss, holding him tight. Eventually, he pulled back.

"I gotta go. Politicians, remember?" he sighed.

Jim nodded and gave him a quick kiss, "Okay. I love you."

He smiled, "I love you too." He pressed a kiss to her head and left her quarters while he still had the willpower to do so.


	11. Eleven

The buzzer to his door pulled Chris out of his paperwork-induced coma. He stood up, hit the command to open it and found a very pale Leslie Rice on the other side. "You have a minute, sir?" the tactical officer asked him. 

"Everything alright?" Chris asked as he nodded and stepped aside to let the other man into the apartment.

Rice shook his head, "Not really. I know it's not really my place to ask, but I'm gonna. Do you know where Jim was when she was thirteen?"

Oh shit. Winona must've started talking and her husband wasn't taking it well. If Chris was being honest, Leslie was taking it the way Winona should've taken it back then, like a parent whose child went through hell. Chris nodded at the question, "Yes. I probably know more about it than you do."

"She was fighting for her life…" Leslie sighed, "she was fighting for her life while we were here, happy and getting ready to have Max. Winona didn't say anything. She didn't say anything at all until today." Chris sat down next to the other man and watched as Leslie put his head in his hands and burst into angry tears, "That poor kid. No wonder her friends are all deathly protective of her. She almost fucking died and Winona could care less. What kind of mother does that? If you don't want your children there are things you can do besides shuffle them from family member to family member. Who the hell did I marry?" Chris couldn't answer that, he didn't know.

"I used to admire her. Winona," he told the older man. He probably still would if he didn't know so much about Jim's childhood. Winona got offered every planet-side posting there was and she never took any of them, opting to go out in the black on different ships while her children lived with the alcoholic jerk, as Jim refers to her Uncle Frank. "I wrote my dissertation on the Kelvin. I tried to talk to her a few times but she was never on planet. I always wondered what happened to her children if she was always gone. I still don't know the whole story, Jim doesn't talk about it that much and I won't make her. The pieces I have are bad enough."

Leslie looked at him, "I'm done. I can't stay married to someone like that. She lied to me and to Max, and she abandoned that girl and her other son. I can't stay married to her, I thought I could but I can't do it."

"Are you sure you're not just upset?" Chris asked. He doesn't know why he's trying to talk him out of this but here he is.

"I'm sure," Leslie nodded. "My son doesn't deserve this and neither does my step-daughter. Right now, it's a choice between them and Winona… I pick them."

Chris had a whole new level of respect for the man. Leslie and Jim haven't known each other that long and they weren't really related but that man wanted to protect Jim like she was his own daughter. In the short time Leslie's known Jim, he was more her parent than Winona has been Jim's whole life.

"How's Max with all this?" the admiral asked.

Leslie sighed at the question, "He's upset at his mother but resigned to the fact that he never really knew her. Hell, I don't think I ever really knew her either. I just want answers."

"You know, you might not like the answers you get," Chris told him.

Leslie nodded, "I don't know if that's better or worse. I can't believe I'm spilling my guts to an admiral."

"I'm just Chris around here. You can blame Jim for that," he told the other man with a smile.

"Girl's got a way of drawing people in," Leslie chuckled. That was very true, it was one of Jim's least obvious traits.

"Yes, she does. I didn't even realize that I got pulled in until her last year at the academy."

Leslie looked at him, "What happened?"

"When I realized how deep I was? Jim was doin' what she does best, saving people. Saving me."

_"Sir… Chris, can you hear me?" his ears were ringing but Jim's voice was unmistakable. He gave her a weak nod and tried to push himself up. "Go slow. We took a one hell of a fall," she muttered as she checked him over. Chris looked around as his vision began to clear and he realized how right Jim was. The room they_ were _standing in was a good fifteen feet above them._

_"Status, Lieutenant?" he asked her._

_"The planet is being bombarded, I don't know the details. Sexton and T'Cela are dead. Gellar is hurt, but it's not life threatening. I have minor cuts and bruises, you… you kinda broke my fall," Jim told him._

_"That's why I feel like crap?" he chuckled._

_"Yes, sir. I'm sorry." For some reason, Chris didn't mind getting hurt to protect her. It should've worried the hell out of him but it didn't._

_"Better me than you," he told her honestly. "Any idea where the Prime or his security minister are?"_

_Jim shook her head, "I tried to get to Vodanis and Reggis but the floor fell from under us before I got close. We should probably move before this building comes down on our heads."_

_"Like it's any better outside. I think we should stay here and wait it out," Geller made himself known._

_Chris glanced at the young man before he looked at Jim, "Kirk, you're the survival specialist. Thoughts?"_

_"The structural integrity of this building is getting worse by the minute and we have no clue if it's over," Jim sighed, "I tried raising the Constitution but nothing's getting through. Whether that means comms are down, being actively blocked or the ship is gone, I don't know, sir. I do know that we won't last in here very long."_

_Chris nodded his understanding of the situation. If they stayed, there was the chance of being safe until the building fell on them and if they left, they could walk into more trouble but there was a chance of finding out what was going on. Chris looked at Gellar, "Can you walk, Lieutenant?"_

_"Yes, sir," Geller nodded._

_Chris looked at Jim, "Exits?"_

_"There's a door on the far side of the room, sir. We'll have to go further into the building before we'll get out but it's safer than attempting to climb up."_

_Chris agreed with her assessment and ordered her to take point. She was the least injured out of the three of them and he trusted her judgment. Gellar wasn't happy since he technically outranked Jim –she was still a cadet slated to be commissioned as a full lieutenant- but he was smart enough not to say anything. They were making their way through the building when they heard a noise. The three officers stopped and listened._

_"Someone else is in here, sir. Over there," Jim said quietly. Jim, Chris and Gellar moved closer to the sound and found one of the Prime Minister's aides trapped under a beam._

_"Captain, you have to… I don't know… the word," the woman, Zelna, pleaded with him in broken Standard. The support beam was too heavy for any of them to move at full strength, let alone injured_.

_"Can you pull her out if I get it off of her, sirs?" Jim asked as she carefully pulled a long piece of metal that reminded him of rebar from under a small pile of rubble._

_Chris nodded, "We can give it a shot. Nice thinking, Kirk."_

_"Work smarter, not harder, sir," she chuckled. He shook his head as he knelt next to Zelna._

_"Charlie says that all the time."_

_Jim smiled as she wedged the metal between the beam and a large piece of the stone wall, "Where do you think I got it from? Chief Pike is like a never-ending fountain of wisdom."_

_"Don't tell my father you said that, he'll never let either of us hear the end of it," Chris told her._

_"Roger that, sir. You ready over there?" she asked. Chris and Gellar looked at each other before they nodded to Jim._

_Chris glanced at Jim, "Count us down, Miss Kirk."_

_She took a deep breath, "On my mark. Two… one… mark." Jim used her body weight to push the bar down, moving the beam off Zelna just enough for Chris and Gellar to pull the young Sordinian woman clear._

_"Thank you, Captain Pike. We must get to the Prime," Zelna said to him._

_"Where is he?" Chris asked.  
_

_"What is the word?" the aide asked after taking a breath. "Uh… safe place… under the feet…"_

_Gellar looked at her, "Underground bunker?"_

_"Yes. We're not far,"Zelna told them. "I need… I need…"_

_Jim touched her shoulder, "Help? You need help?"_

_"Yes," Zelna nodded and motioned to her leg. Jim checked her over as best she could before she helped the woman stand and pulled one of Zelna's arms over her shoulder. The four people made their way through the crumbling building. Each of them took a deep breath when they finally got outside. "That way," Zelna pointed. They didn't get far before some of the Sordinian security forces spotted them._

_One of the officers started talking to Zelna in their native language and Chris wished that his translator wasn't broken in the fall. The first officer took Zelna's other arm and helped Jim with her while another one of the men looked at Chris. "We will take you to the Prime, Captain." Chris nodded and followed them into a building._

_To say the Prime was happy to see them was an understatement. He couldn't figure out why until Gellar whispered that from what he could understand, Zelna wasn't just an aide, she was Vodanis' daughter. The security minister, Reggis, wasn't happy to see them but he wasn't gonna turn away help. The three Starfleet officers were with him in front of the massive screens trying to figure out where to start._

_"There," Gellar pointed, "I'll bet that's where the comm signal is being blocked. You were right, Kirk."_

_Jim nodded as her hands flew over one of the screens, "The bombardment's from orbit. If I had to guess, the Constitution has their hands full. The focus appears to be centered on the capital city, which is good for the rest of the planet and bad for us. Too bad we can't call for an evac."_

_"Is there any way past the jammer, Kirk?" Chris asked her._

_"No way to know for sure without getting eyes on, sir,"she told him.Of course they had to physically see it before they could disable the damn thing.  
_

_Chris looked at Reggis, "Is there any way to get someone over there?"_

_"It's possible, Captain, but I don't have anyone with enough experience to make it worthwhile," t_ _he security minister looked at him._

_"I can do it, sir," Jim offered, "I just need two bodies and a weapon."_

_Jim was the top of her class in survival strategies and tactical analysis, on top of being Chris' assistant instructor for the intermediate and advanced hand-to-hand combat courses. She was also invited to participate in Advanced Tactical Training at the Command College, earning her ATT rating as the captain of Team Delta after the six months of training during her first year. If she says she could do it, he wasn't gonna argue with her._

_Gellar and Reggis looked at her and Chris stifled a laugh. "She knows what she's doing. Get her what she needs," Chris told the Sordinian. Reggis nodded and left them to round up a pair of volunteers to go with Jim. Chris looked at her, "You die on me and I'll kick your ass. We clear?"_

_"Crystal, sir," Jim nodded._

_"Good. Be safe, Kirk," he told her._

_"Not until we all are, sir," she smiled. Chris watched as Jim joined Reggis' men. He sat in her vacated seat and looked at the screens._

_Chris and Gellar worked quietly for awhile, helping the Sordinians until Gellar sighed and looked at him, "Permission to speak freely, sir?"_

_Chris nodded, "Make it brief."_

_"I know this is none of my business and all kinds of personal but… Is there something between you and Kirk, sir?" the young security officer asked._

_The captain sighed, "We're friends, if that's what you're asking. I recruited her, I was her advisor during her first and second years, and she's my TA. Kirk is an amazing person and has the makings of an outstanding officer, I would never want anyone to question her ability to do her job because of an association with me. Her parentage is enough of a problem for her."_

_Chris hoped he put enough conviction into that statement to get the message across. Of course, that's when he realized that he didn't believe it any more than anyone else probably did. It fuckin' figures. They_ were _just friends but he'd be lying his ass off if he said he's never thought about her in a not so platonic manner. Jim was extraordinary. There was no other way to put it. Professionally, she surpassed the potential he saw in that dumb bar and he could tell that she was only scratching the surface. Personally, there were parts of herself that she left buried for so long in an effort to protect herself, but somehow, Chris -and McCoy- got past the walls she put up and she was finally beginning to heal, seeing the lessons instead of the pain. Jim's heart and mind proved to be just as beautiful as she was._

_"Understood, sir. I was just curious. If I may…?" Chris nodded before Gellar finished his question. The officer looked at him, "Can she do this?"_

_"She's done a lot more with a lot less. This is nothing for Kirk," Chris chuckled. Gellar nodded and that ended the conversation._

_Chris couldn't blame the man for asking. Being on training cruises meant putting cadets and instructors in the mix with a bunch of officers who mostly knew each other already. The gossip train never stops, it just shifts gears. For every person who's brave enough to ask, there are a hundred people who aren't. Chris heard the murmurs surrounding him and his protégé but he never put much stock into them until they were trapped on a ship without the distractions. Chris and Jim haven't talked about it and, if he was being honest, he didn't really want to._

_"Kirk to Pike," Jim's voice over comm pulled him out of his thoughts._

_He opened the small device with a smirk, "Go ahead, Kirk." She relayed what she found in the small building that housed the signal jammer. The bombardment was from a bunch of satellites in orbit around the planet and the Constitution was getting rid of them._

_"Comms to the ship are open, sir," she reported.  
_

_"Good work, LT," he said to her._

_"I've had better, sir," she took a breath. "Captain Augenthaler will have us beamed out as soon as he… shit. You have hostiles incoming, sir. I…" Jim cut out before she could finish her sentence._

_"Kirk… Kirk… Jim, come in," he said into his comm with no answer._

_"This place is safe. We are safe within it,"_ __Vodanis looked at him._ That didn't stop Chris from being worried about Jim._

_Chris noticed that the security team didn't seem worried at all, Gellar must've noticed it too, both Starfleet officers stood. The captain looked at Reggis, "Can I have a weapon?"_

_The security minister's eyes locked with his before the Sordinian officers turned their weapons on Chris, Gellar, Vodanis and Zelna. Reggis looked at him, "I think not, Captain Pike."_

_"Reggis, what is this?" Vodanis asked. Reggis responded in his native tongue, effectively cutting Chris and Gellar out of the conversation. Chris needed something, anything at this point._

_"What happened to my officer?" Chris asked Reggis. "Where is she?"_

_The other man looked at him, "She could be anywhere. The men I sent with her are very loyal and very thorough."_

_Vodanis looked at Reggis, "You would kill a Starfleet officer in cold blood. You would kill civilians. What makes you think you could rule?"_

_"You are weak," Reggis growled. "You would yield to the Federation. We are better than them."_

_Gellar shook his head, "Not if open warfare on a civilian population is the platform you're basing your leadership on."_

_"Humans… you've been waging war among your own people for centuries," Reggis growled._

_"That was over two hundred years ago," Chris said. "The third world war rose from the ashes of the Eugenics Wars. The whole thing escalated into a nuclear cataclysm and genocidal war over genetic manipulation and genome enhancement, killing six-hundred million people. If you're gonna base your actions on our history, at least get it right." Reggis looked at him but didn't respond, Chris was taking that as a small win._

_"What are we gonna do, sir?" Gellar whispered after giving Chris small nudge. The captain looked around the room for anything that might be helpful but there was nothing there. The officers had the weapons, Chris and Gellar were in no shape to fight them. Even if they won the fight, they'd need some help. Reggis needed to be taken down if they had a chance of getting out of this alive. As it stood, Chris couldn't figure out what the man wanted with him and Gellar. Reggis made it clear that he wasn't shy about killing Starfleet officers, so why hasn't he killed Chris or Gellar yet?_

_"You aren't in charge," Chris said aloud._

_"You wish I wasn't but I can assure you that I am," Reggis told him.  
_

_"Someone else is giving the orders," Chris said with a shake of his head. "That's why you don't know where Kirk is and it's why we're still alive. You need us for something." The security officers didn't seem overly surprised, which meant they knew what was going on too._

_"You need to get us onto your ship, Captain," Reggis told him._

_"Not my ship, I'm just a passenger," Chris smiled. "Captain Augenthaler is the Constitution's CO and I doubt he'd risk the five hundred people on board for the two of us. If your plan was to use us as leverage, I'm sorry to disappoint."_

_Reggis pointed his phaser at Chris and Gellar, "What use are you, then?"_

_What happened next was so fast, Chris almost missed it. Jim, banged up and bloody, shot Reggis from the doorway before taking cover behind a desk. She popped up, took out three guards, returned to cover, popped up, took out two more guards with the phaser. Jim tossed the spent weapon on the deck, grabbed one of the guards and used him as a shield as she shot his comrade with the weapon in his hands. Then she knocked the guy out, took his phase rifle and pointing it at Zelna, "It was you. You're the one in charge."_

_The Sordinian woman looked at her in shock before a smile crossed her alien features. "And here I thought you all incompetent."_

_"Hardly," Jim growled.  
_

_Vodanis looked at his daughter, "How could you?" She said something in the native language and he responded. Chris wasn't sure he wanted to know. A few seconds later, a team from the Constitution beamed into the room._

_"Sir, are you okay?" a security officer Chris didn't know asked._

_"Yea. Yea,"Chris said. He was more worried about Jim than himself.  
_

_The security officers secured Zelna, Reggis and their people while Chris, Gellar and Jim were beamed back to the ship. McCoy was standing in the transporter room. Jim chuckled, "We're fine, Bones."_

_Her friend glared at her, "You're bleeding." That's when Chris noticed the blood running down her left side._

_"So, I got a little banged up, not a big… deal," Jim mumbled the last part. All three men reached out when she staggered, McCoy getting the best hold and wrapping an arm around Jim as the blood loss and fading adrenaline caught up with her._

_"She gonna be okay, doc?" Gellar asked, giving voice to Chris' thoughts._

_"Yea, it's not bad, just a shock to her system," McCoy said as he shifted to take more of Jim's weight. "Come on, you all need to go through medical." Chris didn't argue but only because he wanted to keep an eye on Jim himself._

_After getting checked out and settled in a bio-bed between Jim and Gellar, Chris fell asleep. Gasps and 'oh my God' woke him up. Gellar had a bunch of people around his bed, judging by the glances they tossed at Jim, the security officer was telling them how she saved their asses._

_"Shut up," Jim grumbled and pulled the pillow over her head. Gellar and his friends all looked at her before they looked at Chris._

_"Contrary to popular belief, she doesn't like the attention," was all he offered them. Gellar nodded his understanding and told his friends to get back to their jobs and off-duty activities before the medical staff kicked them out. Judging by McCoy's glare, it was gonna happen any second._

_"Damn kids," McCoy grumbled as he checked Jim over. "How's you do this, anyway?"_

_"Two men tried to kill me, I defended myself," she said quietly._

_Chris looked at her, "I'm so sorry I let you go with them, kid."_

_Her beautiful blue eyes were on him in a millisecond, "I volunteered, we didn't have any other options, and it's not like you were having a picnic. Don't blame yourself for this… sir."_

_"I'll try," Chris muttered._

_"I swear, you're worse than me," she chuckled._

_He nodded, "Sometimes."_

* * *

"If I said I was surprised, I'd be lying. My mother has a lot to answer for and she's dug herself into that huge ass hole. I mean, I've known about Max his whole life. After Tarsus, they contacted Winona to figure out what to do with me. She knew what happened and she knew I wasn't dead. Technically, I was a ward of the Federation because of her but I was smart enough to petition a judge to emancipate me. I'm sad that Max and Leslie are dealing with this but there's nothing I can do."

Chris looked at the woman on the screen, "Nothing you can do or nothing you want to do?"

"Nothing I _can_ do," Jim sighed. "I'm over what she did to me. My problem with her is what she did to Max. I can't do anything until she apologizes to him. I know what it feels like to think you're all alone in the universe. The fact that he asked and she didn't say anything is not helping. I'd talk to her, but I don't even know if she'd listen to me. Even if she did, I don't know where to begin."

He ran his hand though his hair, "Yea."

"You know, you don't have stress yourself out over this," she chuckled. "My family is… drama. Always has been."

"You're not here and your brother needs someone on his side. Leslie is looking out for him but he has feelings invested in this whole thing too. If it was my family... there's nothing you wouldn't do to help," Chris told her.

"True," Jim said, "but now someone is gonna have to talk to my mother."

Chris chuckled, "Why do I have the feeling like I just volunteered for that?"


	12. Twelve

"My son is none of your business, _Admiral_ ," Winona glared at him.

"That's where I disagree," Chris sighed. "You came to me when you wanted to talk to his sister about him. Now, Kirk is my concern and she is worried about her brother."

The woman across from him rolled her eyes, "You're only involved because you're sleeping with her, sir. You can't even pretend you're not."

"Well, that's a bit hard when she's on the other side of the galaxy but I think the word you're looking for is 'love.' I love her. I won't deny it or apologize for it," he told her honestly. "The one person she's worried about is here and I'll do what I can to relieve that worry. Look, Rice, I was about the same age as Max when my mother died and I was an adult when I found out that my mother's friend who took me in, a man I thought was my friend, was actually my biological father and neither of them bothered to tell me. I can't even ask my mother why she didn't say anything to me about it and it took years for me to understand why my father didn't either. To this day, I still have a better relationship with my stepmom because she's the only one who didn't lie to me. You already lost your daughter. Kirk… Jim has a family, a damn good one. You already lost your older son, he's dead. You have a chance not to lose Max. Whatever the problem was or is… you still have a chance with him. He's a good kid and he just wants the woman who raised him to tell him the truth."

She looked at him, "What if I can't? What if the truth hurts him more than it helps?"

"And what if he's tougher than you're giving him credit for?"

* * *

_Starfleet Network Subspace Text Communication_  
_From: Kirk SC937-0176 CEC_  
_To: Pike SC731-0034 CCG_

_Kirk: You awake?_  
_Pike: Sorta. What's up?_  
_Kirk: Talked to Max today. He talked to Winona. I guess I should thank you._  
_Pike: I didn't do anything._  
_Kirk: Ha! Liar, liar, pants on fire. I know your yeoman. Tyler told me you met with Winona._  
_Pike: He's fired._  
_Kirk: Sweet! I'll take him._  
_Pike: Keep dreaming, kid._  
_Kirk: I will. Tyler is awesome._  
_Pike: I'm gonna tell Rand._  
_Kirk: She knows Tyler's my favorite._  
_Pike: Should I be worried about that?_  
_Kirk: Not now._  
_Pike: What does that mean?_  
_Kirk: Uh… nothing._  
_Pike: Now, I really want to know._  
_Kirk: I kissed him once._  
_Pike: When?!_  
_Kirk: My first year. It was just a kiss._  
_Pike: How'd I miss that?_  
_Kirk: It was a bet, it didn't mean anything._  
_Pike: Uh huh. Maybe I should have a talk with my yeoman._  
_Kirk: You can if you want but it's not his kisses I dream about._  
_Pike: Who's kisses do you dream about?_  
_Kirk: I think you know._  
_Pike: I think I want you to tell me._  
_Kirk: Yours. Only yours._  
_Pike: What about my kisses?_  
_Kirk: I miss them._  
_Pike: Is that so?_  
_Kirk: It is._  
_Pike: I wish I was there to kiss you._  
_Kirk: You and me both. You should get some sleep._  
_Pike: You sound like me._  
_Kirk: I'll take that as a compliment. Goodnight, love._  
_Pike: Good afternoon, sweetheart._

* * *

"If I ask you something, will you tell my sister?" Max asked him. The kid stopped by Chris' apartment and somehow the admiral found himself sitting from across the table from Jim's little brother at his favorite diner. He watched the kid dip his fries in his milkshake like Jim does. It was scary how alike the two of them were considering how far apart they grew up.

Chris considered his answer carefully before he shrugged, "I don't lie to Jim so it depends on what you ask."

"It's about Starfleet," the kid sighed.

"Then I probably won't tell her unless she needs to know," Chris chuckled. "What's up?"

"Am I too young to enlist?" Max asked with a fry in his mouth.

Chris shook his head, "Chekov was fourteen when he joined Starfleet. You have the scores?" Chris knew the answer to that, Max was smarter than Jim, which was saying something.

"You know I do. I'm already taking college courses. It's just… well, I'm thirteen. I have no idea what to expect."

"Why do you want to join Starfleet? And don't say because your parents and sister are fleet. The committee hates that stuff."

"I want to make a difference like the officers who helped Jim when she was a kid. Like she helps people now. Like you help people," Max smiled.

"That's a good answer. You might want to refine it before you get before the admissions committee though. If you put in your application soon, you have time to test for AcPrep," he told Jim's brother.

Getting into Starfleet Academy starts with the candidate's application. If it's accepted, the candidate moves to entrance competition exams. The best scores determine who gets admitted, who goes on the wait-list and who is not recommended for admission. The exam has sections on hyperspace physics and dynamic relationships, among a bunch of other stuff. After that was the psych test where the prospective cadet faced their greatest fear.

Once this was done, the candidate was eligible for the Academy Preparatory Exam. Next was the Starfleet Academy Preparatory Program, or AcPrep, which consisted of six weeks of classes, usually in the summer but there have been winter classes if there are enough applicants. By passing the Preparatory Program, admission was ensured since the candidate proved to the admissions committee that they were prepared, determined and ready to become a cadet. Once that's accomplished, the candidate was then eligible for the Academy entrance exam.

"You know, your sister did all her entrance stuff in forty-three hours with no prep time," Chris told the kid.

"She mentioned it," Max chuckled. "Said it was the crappiest two days of her life."

"That's because she was hungover when she got on the shuttle, so was McCoy. By the time they were done with the paperwork, they both looked like death warmed over but they had some of the highest scores in Academy history."

"Like high for humans?" Max asked.

Chris shook his head, "No, like high, period. Both of them. McCoy grumbles a lot but he's a true medical genius. Jim's just Jim, I stopped trying to explain her to people years ago."

Max chuckled, "My sister is pretty awesome. You do know that if you hurt her, I'll have to kill you."

"You'd have to get in line behind a few people who are a lot more dangerous than you are," Chris smiled.

"I'm serious, Chris," Max said with a glare.

The officer chuckled, "So am I. McCoy and Spock already gave me their versions of the 'don't hurt my sister' speech. Sulu didn't _say_ anything, he just stood next to her and glared at me. Considering what I know about him and that damn sword, he's the scariest of the three."

"That's why he's my hero."

"He's a good hero to have. Sulu's got a PhD in astrophysics, a master's in interstellar navigation, an advanced grasp of subspace theory and a degree in botany. All that on top of being one of the best helmsmen in the fleet. He kinda makes the rest of us command officers look like idiots. Jim and Chekov not included," Chris said. "So, why'd you really wanna talk to me?"

Max gave him the same look that Jim does when she knows he's up to something. The kid sighed, "You talked to her, didn't you?"

"She comms me whenever she has time, even if she should be sleeping," he chuckled. "We had an interesting conversation a few days ago. Look, I know what it's like to find out that your family kept something huge from you. If my mom didn't die, I doubt I would've ever known about Charlie."

"I thought Miss Hobelia was your mom?" Max asked.

"Technically, she's my stepmom but she adopted me when I was a teenager. My mother's name was Willa. I still wish she would've told me that Charlie was my dad and why she decided to raise me without him, I guess I'll always wonder. I understand where you're coming from, it's probably why your sister told you that you could talk to me."

"It's a mess. I was mad at my mom. Now, I'm just sad for her. She told me that after George died, she completely shut down. She had some very dark thoughts and she was extremely depressed. She put on a good front for the fleet and the media but inside, she felt like she was dying. Mom still remembers just lying in bed alone, curled up in pain like someone had ripped her heart out of her chest, she said it was this intense physical pain. She was so worried that she'd hurt Jim and Sam, that she left them with Uncle Frank and went back into the black," the kid sighed.

"Not surprising. Losing someone like that can be depressing. So could having a baby, when you think about it. She had to deal with both at the same time," Chris told the young genius.

"That's what Jim said when I talked to her about it. Anyway, mom didn't explain why she thought my brother and sister were dead, but it had something to do with Uncle Frank. According to Jim, it wouldn't be the first time. Might've been about credits or property but Jim's not sure."

"The alcoholic jerk. That's what your sister calls Frank," Chris muttered.

Max smiled, "I like that but I have a feeling my sister would smack me in the back of the head if she heard me say it. Anyway, my folks met on the Lake, it's a small science ship so I guess there was nothing better for an engineer and a tactical officer to do than talk. Fast-forward two years, mom and dad fall in love, got hitched and got pregnant with me then all hell broke loose on Tarsus Four. Mom didn't tell me the whole story, she said it's Jim's story to tell.

When Captain Th'elan commed mom to tell her what happened, she told him that Jim needed more attention than a heavily pregnant woman could give. The truth was she thought, foolishly, that Jim would hate me. That Jim would resent the fact that mom got remarried, had another child and a whole other life without Jim and Sam. She also thought that Jim would hate dad too thanks to the crap that Frank told mom about Jim being defiant, destructive and violent.

That's also when mom learned that Sam ran away from Frank. Our uncle never told her. She tried to keep tabs on my sister after Tarsus but Jim is one crafty chick and covered her tasks after she got emancipated from the Fed. Mom really did think Jim was dead for a while. She found out that she was alive after she got her medal for your mission had on Sordinia Four.

She didn't say anything to me about my sister because she knows she's burned her bridges with Jim. She didn't want me to be disappointed if Jim wanted nothing to do with me. She also didn't know how Jim would react to me, if she'd lash out, stuff like that. Mom said that Jim's reaction to her when they saw each other in your office was nothing like she expected. Mom failed Jim. She knows it and she won't forgive herself for it. She made a lot of mistakes and she doesn't think she deserves anyone's forgiveness for them, especially Jim's. But... I think Jim already forgave her. It'll take some time but I think I will too at some point."

* * *

Chris took a breath and opened the file from the Enterprise. Of all the ships he oversees, somehow the one with the youngest crew seemed to be the most solid. The first thing to pop up on his console was an After Action Report that Jim filed herself.

~~~ Start Report~~~

AFTER ACTION REPORT  
UNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS  
Starfleet Command

FROM: Captain Kirk, James T. SC937-0176 CEC, Commanding Officer, USS Enterprise (NCC-1701)  
SUBJECT: Romulan Neutral Zone Incident on stardate 2259.238

1\. This after action report was prepared on stardate 2259.239  
2\. The following is information regarding the action:

a. _Deployed Location_ : United Federation of Planets/Romulan Star Empire Neutral Zone

b. _Duration of Deployment:_ 22 Hours

c. _Action Purpose:_ In support of attack on Federation Outpost Four, destruction of Outpost Two, Outpost Three and Outpost Eight. Preservation of peaceful relations with Romulan Star Empire.

3\. Summary of Events:

a. The USS Enterprise conducted an investigation in the vicinity of the Federation/Romulan Neutral Zone, where an unknown assailant destroyed three of the Federation outposts bordering the Neutral Zone.

b. Federation Outposts Two, Three and Eight are found to be destroyed, and the Enterprise established brief contact with Outpost Four. The sole survivor, Commander Alec Hansen, described a powerful blast of energy from an unknown, untraceable vessel before the outpost is attacked again and destroyed.

c. XO/CSO, Commander Spock, attempted to track the unknown ship but could not pinpoint its location and theorized that the Romulans have some form of invisibility shield (i.e. Cloak).

d. CO, Captain Kirk, ordered helm to maintain a parallel course instead of an intercept course to give the Romulans the illusion of an echo.

e. Command staff held an Emergency Meeting. XO/CSO demonstrated how Outpost Four's protective shields were reduced to crumbling by the unknown Romulan weapon. CEO, Lieutenant Commander Scott, reported that the Romulan ship had no warp power. CTO, Lieutenant Stiles, strongly recommended attack as the Romulan ship is on the Federation side of the Neutral Zone. XO agreed with CTO recommendation. CO agreed and ordered crew to battle stations.  
_In attendance_ : CO, Captain James Kirk; XO/CSO, Commander Spock; CEO, Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott; CMO, Lieutenant Commander Doctor Leonard McCoy; CTO, Lieutenant John Stiles; CHO, Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu; and CNO, Lieutenant (JG) Pavel Chekov.

f. Enterprise followed Romulan ship's path into a comet's tail, CO ordered helm to jump forward and intercept the Romulan ship on the other side. Due to Romulan ship countermovement, intercept failed.

g. CO ordered phaser barrage, damaging the Romulan vessel. Phaser circuits on the Enterprise burned out due to the Romulan ship's primary weapon. CO ordered full astern and learns range of enemy weapon. * _See Chief Science Officer's Report_.

h. To prevent the Romulan ship from reentering the Neutral Zone, CO ordered another barrage of phaser fire. Unable to stop the Romulan ship, and aware of the consequences, CO ordered the Enterprise to follow the vessel into the Neutral Zone. The Enterprise picked up the debris on the sensors but in doing so, lost sensor contact with the Romulan ship.

i. CO ordered ship to power down to avoid detection while minor repairs were completed. An officer, while making repairs, accidentally activated a panel which the Romulan ship detected. Enterprise detected enemy vessel when it moved to attack. CO ordered helm to fire weapons on the Romulan ship.

j. XO/CSO detected 'metal cased object' on sensors and the Enterprise fired upon it, expecting a low-grade detonation, however, it caused a massive explosion that damaged to the Enterprise. Despite having the upper hand, the Romulan vessel attempted to retreat into Romulan space. CO ordered Enterprise to 'play' dead, luring the Romulan ship back.

k. CEO reported undermanned conditions in phaser station due to injures, XO/CSO and CTO left bridge to assist. Romulan ship attacked, causing phaser coolant leak injuring CTO and Lieutenant Robert Tomlinson, weapons officer. CO ordered phaser barrage, severely damaging the Romulan ship.

l. CCO, Lieutenant Uhura, established visual contact between ships. Enterprise crew observed a severely injured Romulan commander stagger to his feet. The Romulan commander looked directly at CO. CO offered to assist survivors, the Romulan commander informed CO that it is 'not the Romulan way.' Romulan commander said, with admiration, " _I regret that we meet in this way. You and I are of a kind. In a different reality, I could have called you friend._ " Romulan commander than set the Romulan ship to self-destruct.

m. CO ordered Enterprise to return to Federation space and begin repairs.

4\. Recommendation: It is clear that the Romulan commander was acting on orders from the Empire, what is not clear is the motive behind their actions. At this time an increased presence at the Neutral Zone would be viewed by the Romulans as preparation for war. I recommend repairs/replacements for the lost outposts in the area with stronger defense capabilities. I also recommend a subtle increase in area patrols until such time as the Federation can determine what the Romulans are after.

James T. Kirk, Capt. USS Enterprise  
Commanding Officer

Attached:  
Captain's logs  
Chief Science Officer Report  
Chief Tactical Officer Report  
Chief Communication Officer Report  
Damage Report

~~~ End Report ~~~

Chris sighed as he skimmed through Spock, Stiles, Uhura and Scott's reports and began playing Jim's logs. He told the computer to begin and listened to Jim's voice as it filled his office. " _Captain's log, stardate 2259.238. While patrolling the sector near the Neutral Zone between planets of Romulus and Remus and the rest of the galaxy; we received an emergency call from Federation Outpost Four. The Enterprise is moving to investigate and assist."_

Chris instructed the computer to play the next log. _"Captain's log, stardate 2259.238. We are at the neutral zone. I've lost contact with the intruder. No reaction on our motion sensors, but I believe the Romulan vessel to be somewhere close by, with all engines and systems shut down. The Enterprise is also playing this silent waiting game in hope of regaining contact."_ The computer paused for a second, then resumed _, "Captain's log, supplemental: Now motionless for nine hours forty-seven minutes._ "

She sounded frustrated but otherwise okay. Chris had one question on his mind that he couldn't shake and he knew it wasn't going to be in any report, so he called her. The officer at the communication's station on the Enterprise sent the call to Jim's quarters. "Kirk," she grumbled before ordering the computer to turn the lights on at fifteen percent. "Sir… Chris… whatever."

"I forgot it was Gamma shift on the Enterprise. Sorry I woke you up, sleepyhead," he said with a chuckle.

"It is what it is. Everything okay?"

Chris nodded, "Yea. It's just… I got your report."

She was wide awake after he said that, "Oh. How much trouble am I in?"

"None. You did what you should've done. Which is why I want to know one thing: why didn't you attack sooner?" he asked.

"So, when I take action the brass bitches at me and when I don't they bitch at me too. Gee thanks," Jim muttered.

He shook his head, "It's not like that. I'm not asking for the brass, Jim. I'm asking for me, I want to know. You know I'll defend what you do out there but I need to know why you did it. The Romulans were on our side of the Neutral Zone, they took out our outposts. You were well within your rights to take them out at anytime during this encounter, why didn't you?"

"I don't wanna start a war with Romulus. They had that damn super-weapon and a cloaking ability, but we were the better ship. I figured we could figure out a way where the whole thing didn't end with millions of people stuck in a war," Jim told him.

"I only half believe you," he said.

"I'm too tired to care what you believe," she yawned.

"That's not true and you can't even pretend it is. What's the rest?" For a minute, Jim didn't say anything. Chris could tell that she was trying to figure out how to put her thoughts into words.

"I don't want my legacy, my father's legacy, to be all about killing Romulans," Jim said. "My father's whole life was reduced to that one battle. You said it yourself, he was a captain for twelve minutes. That's all anybody remembers. He was a son, a brother, a husband, a father, a friend and… and his whole life is only remembered for the last twelve minutes of a three decades long existence. All they remember is that he saved his crew from a Romulan. I don't want that to be the only thing anybody remembers about me after I'm gone."

"I doubt your brother would let that happen, kid," Chris smiled.

She tilted her head, "You wouldn't fight for my legacy?"

"If something happened to you, I doubt I'd last very long," he told her.

"You better last. Somebody has to make sure they pick a hot actress to play me in the movie. Don't turn into my mother and shut the whole universe out," Jim laughed.

Chris sighed, "Easily solved. Don't die on me."

"It's not that easy and you know it's not," she mumbled.

"An old man can dream, sweetheart. I should let you go back to bed."

"You are not old," Jim sighed. "Stop saying that."

"Yea, I know. You don't like it."

She shrugged, "Well, no I don't like it but it's also not true. You're not even middle aged. Archer is old, you aren't old. You and Bones, if I didn't know any better, I'd swear you were both trying to drive me crazy on purpose."

"He said the same thing about you when I talked to him. Don't give the good doctor too much of a headache."

Jim rolled her eyes, "Yes, dear. I'm gonna try to get back to sleep, Bones and Spock will bitch at me if I don't. I love you."

"I love you too. Sweet dreams," he smiled.

"Only because they're about you. Kirk out," she smiled. Chris chuckled as she hit the command to close the comm channel.

"That woman is gonna be the death of me."


	13. Thirteen

"That's cute, kid," Chris told Jim over vid-comm. She was sitting on her bed with a couple fur balls in her lap.

"I know. Bones is gonna take this one to the lab but I think I might keep his buddy. I never had a pet before."

"Tribbles are easy, you just have to be careful about how you feed them. Not unless you want a whole bunch of them in a matter of hours," he smiled.

"Actually, Bones and Spock have been working on that. They came up with this compound, neoethylene, it's supposed to slow the Tribbles' metabolic rate and stop them from burying us alive with babies. That's the only part I could follow. They went into one of those over complicated explanations that I tuned out. Bones is gonna try it on this Tribble first before he gives the drug to mine. I'll let you know how my science boys do with their experiment," Jim said with a smile.

"Okay. You wanna tell me why Undersecretary Baris filed a grievance about you?" Chris asked.

Jim rolled her eyes, "Not really but I guess I should start with the fact that he pressured Station Manager Lurry into initiating a Code One to get my attention." A Code One or Priority One alert is an emergency distress call used for near or total disasters, invasions, or during the outbreak of a war. Jim smirked, "I doubt that's in the report."

"No, it's not. What happened?" Chris looked at her.

"You have my AAR, read it," she said.

Chris smiled, "I did. We both know that everything doesn't go in that report. Now, tell me what happened."

She took a breath, "After we received the signal, we went to max warp and I called a red alert. Show up ready for a fight, only to find nothing… no battle at all. I beam over to K-7 with Spock to get an explanation from Lurry only to learn that Baris forced him to send out the Code One. Baris and his aide, guy named Arne Darvin, were afraid the Klingons might try to sabotage the shipment quadrotriticale and they demanded that I protect it."

Quadrotriticale was the only Earth grain that could grow on Sherman's Planet. Per the terms of the Organian Peace Treaty, the side that could most effectively develop it could assume ownership of Sherman's Planet; it was between the Federation and the Klingons. "I can see where this is going, Jim. You argued the misuse of the Priority One designation, but you did what he asked."

"I posted two guards on the grain and gave everyone else some shore leave. That'll be important when I get to the Tribbles. I got an order from Admiral Fitzpatrick to 'render any and all aid that Undersecretary Baris may require.' I wasn't a happy camper and I can admit it, but I followed my orders. Anyway, that's when the Klingons showed up. Captain Koloth and his first officer, Korax, asserted their right to shore leave under the Organian treaty. I agreed but set a limit of twelve officers at a time, with one guard from the Enterprise for each Klingon soldier," Jim said with a sigh.

"They didn't like that too much, did they?" he asked.

"Actually, Koloth didn't mind. We know each other, he's a friend of Kor's, so that might've had something to do with it. We even had a few drinks together. And I should probably comm my Klingon friend when I get the chance. Anyway, where was I? Oh, the Klingons showed up to take their leave. I told my guys to avoid trouble with them and sent Scotty to keep an eye on the other officers. That bit me in the ass because Korax insulted my crew, my ship and me while at the bar and Scotty punched him. That ended shore leave for everybody."

Chris wasn't sure if he wanted to be unset or laugh his ass off. "Scotty… Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott, engineering prodigy of the Federation, punched a Klingon?" Chris asked just to clarify.

"In the face… more than once," Jim chuckled. "The footage of it is _epic_. I had to reprimand him but I really didn't want to."

"I'll bet. I think he's spent too much time with you," he teased.

"No such thing as too much time with me," she winked. "This is where the Tribbles come in. During leave, Uhura and Chekov meet this guy, Cyrano Jones."

Chris sighed, "The trader? I know him, he's a pain in the ass."

"He had the Tribbles and he gave one to Uhura," Jim smiled. "And let's face it, who wouldn't give Uhura gifts? A few hours later, her Tribble birthed a litter. Bones took one to study it and I got stuck arguing with Baris about the 'lack of security.' It gave me a headache, which gave me a reason to see Bones. His Tribble also had a litter of its own."

"They're born pregnant, aren't they?" Chris asked. He never knew how they had so many babies just that feeding one ended up with a whole lot more.

"Yes, and according to my grumpy best friend, fifty percent of their metabolism is geared to reproduction. So, Jones tried to sell more Tribbles but nobody was buying. By now, they were all over the place. I ordered Uhura to have Jones detained on K-7 while Rand and half my staff got the Tribbles off my bridge. Spock, in particular, wasn't very happy with Jones. Taking the Tribbles from their natural habitat and predators is what caused the over-breeding."

"This is when Baris got pissed off at you?"

She nodded, "He bitched about the security some more and accused Jones of being a Klingon agent. I wasn't biting. Jones is annoying but he's not particularly dangerous." Chris agreed. Some people just aren't capable of harming anyone, Jones was misguided but mostly harmless. "Went back to the Enterprise, tried to get lunch and ended up with Tribbles instead of a chicken sandwich and coffee. That's when Scotty figured out that the Tribbles are circulating through the ventilation system, ending up in machinery all over my ship. Spock made the connection that K-7 had similar equipment. We ordered the Tribbles to be cleared and ran back to the station. I opened one of the storage tanks and ended up in a Tribble avalanche. That's when Baris threatened the board of inquiry. I'm surprised he only filed a report."

"Jim," he said to pull her back on track.

"They were dead or dying when Spock and Bones studied them. I got Koloth, Lurry, Baris and all their second in commands to meet with me. Koloth asked to have the Tribbles removed from the room. My officers start pulling the things out of the room and they shrieked when they got near Darvin, just like they did near Koloth. Baris' aide, Darvin, is Klingon with cosmetic alterations to look Human. He poisoned the grain with a virus that prevents its victim from absorbing nutrients, which is how the Tribbles died. They starved to death in a storage compartment full of grain _._ Darvin was arrested, Jones is cleaning up all the Tribbles on the station and the Klingons left. Baris is covering his own ass."

"I know that, I just needed to hear the whole story from you," Chris told her.

Jim shook her head, "Just like you do for everyone else." He could hear the sarcasm in her voice. She took a breath, "If I was any other officer, you would read my damn reports and listen to the logs." If he was being honest, he expected her to say something like that a lot sooner. Jim's always been able to read between the lines and see though people's bullshit.

"That's not entirely true, Jim. I vouched for you when you joined up and I fought for you to keep my ship when they made it clear that your promotion would hold. If you were anyone else, I wouldn't have bothered. I know what you're thinking and this is not about our personal relationship. It's about your career. You're a good captain but you broke the record of being the youngest and you're George Kirk's daughter, everyone is watching every move you make. I'm just making sure there's nothing for them to use against you later." He looked at her face and she wasn't buying it.

"If it helps you sleep at night," she muttered.

"What's really goin' on, huh?" Chris sighed.

"I don't know, why don't you tell me. I mean, it's not like I don't send you everything but for some reason I have to explain my actions to you like you don't know me or trust me," Jim said.

He took a breath, "I trust you, Jim."

"I can hear the 'but' all the way out here," she said coolly.

"I'm trying to have your six and you're biting my head off," Chris told her.

"How many other captains do you oversee? Ten or eleven, right?" she asked. "Are you watching out for all of them like that or just me? You realize that's special treatment and if someone looks hard enough your career is done… so is mine."

"It's not the same. You can deny it all you want but you _are_ my protégé, you have been since you got on that shuttle. If I look out for you nobody is gonna think anything about it."

Jim closed her eyes, "Which is why you were accused of fraternization with me at the Academy. Or did you really think I didn't know about that super secret hearing? Give me some credit, Chris. It's suspicious and I don't want you to tank your career over me. I don't know, maybe I'm just a naive child. I have work to do, I'm sure I'll have to explain it later." She cut the comm before he could say anything else.

Chris groaned, that didn't go quite like he expected. He could see where she was coming from but he wondered if she saw his side of it. She was out there and all he could do was look out for her with the brass. Yes, it was special treatment, but she is special. It's not because of her relationship with him, but because she was her.

Jim Kirk is the daughter of a hero, a hero in her own right, and the youngest captain in the history fleet. Hell, the new recruitment posters went up last week and she was front and center. She's Starfleet's next legend in the making. He just wanted to make sure that someone didn't sink her career just as it's getting started.

* * *

Chris had a really bad feeling all week. He tried to comm Jim a few times but the officers at the comm station would tell him that she was either busy or off the ship. He got her reports, so Chris knew she wasn't ignoring him and something was actually going on. He was tempted to comm her again when he got a message from Spock and McCoy that stopped him dead in his tracks. There was no way in hell they'd pair up unless something was wrong with Jim.

Jim didn't file the after action report he pulled up, which was odd since she usually does her own paperwork. Spock completed this one and sent it to him, Chris' blood boiled when he realized why. His vision went a little hazy as the words on the screen told him what Jim had been up to for the last few days. He read McCoy's report next, than a personal message from the southern doctor. Chris closed out the files and took a deep breath. A plan started to formulate in his head.

"She's gonna kill me."

* * *

The room he stepped into was as neat and clean as the last time he was here. He dropped his bag next to the couch and moved further into the room. That's when he heard it, the quiet sobs coming from the bedroom. What he saw broke his damn heart. The lone figure was curled into a ball, tears rolling onto the bedding. Chris pulled off his uniform jacket, kicked off his boots and climbed onto the bed.

"Jim." Her blue eyes flew open at the sound of his voice. Chris waited to see what she'd say but she didn't say anything. Jim scrabbled into his arms, pressed her face against his shoulder and cried harder. "I got ya, sweetheart." He held her against his body, running his hand through her hair as he let her cry. She could argue with him for being here later if she really wanted to.

Chris wasn't sure how much time had passed when Jim shifted. "I saw him. I thought Tommy was crazy… then I saw him." Her voice was so low and raw that Chris almost didn't hear her, almost. Thanks to Spock and McCoy, he knew exactly who she was talking about.

The Enterprise was diverted off its scheduled course to Planet Q by word that a new synthetic food was ready, the food was meant to ease the chronic shortages on Cygnia Minor. When they got there, Doctor Thomas Leighton, one of Jim's friends from when she was thirteen, actually wanted to show her a traveling Shakespearean actor named Anton Karidian. Leighton was convinced that Karidian was Kodos the Executioner. Kodos was the man behind the Tarsus Four massacre. The massacre where Jim watched her uncle, Hoshi Sato and thousands of other people die at Kodos' order.

"It was him," Chris said quietly.

Jim nodded against his shoulder, "Yea. It was him. I thought I buried that piece of my life. The things I saw, the things I had to do… it all came rushing back in vivid clarity. I didn't even get a chance to tell Tommy he was right, he's dead."

"I know," he sighed. "McCoy told me. I'm guessing that's why you wanted them on the ship. So they couldn't hurt anyone else."

"Sorta. That was part of it but the other part is... It was my fight, _the_ fight. I didn't want anyone else to get stuck with it," she sounded so broken and it made Chris' heart hurt. Jim managed to convince the captain of the Astral Queen, Kodos' transport, to leave without him and his people on Planet Q. Stranded, they had no choice but to ask the Enterprise for a lift.

In an effort to protect Riley, who was also on Tarsus, Jim ordered Scotty to keep him busy in Engineering. Of course, this is when Spock, McCoy and the rest of Jim's friends started to worry about her. Spock did his own research and found enough to raise his own suspicions, including the disturbing fact that of the nine eyewitnesses who could positively identify Kodos, Jim and Riley were the only two left. _And_ when the other seven died, the Karidian Players, Kodos' group, was somewhere nearby.

As Spock was figuring it out, Riley's food was poisoned, Uhura saved his life when she stopped by Engineering to check on him and found him unconscious at one of the engineering consoles. "I was standing next to Kevin's bio-bed when I noticed that Spock was watching me. He figured it out. Crafty Vulcan. Bones pulled us both into his office and made me tell Spock what was goin' on. You know Bones."

"I know. He worries about everyone more than he lets on. Especially you," Chris muttered. By that point, Spock was sure that Karidian and Kodos are the same man. McCoy wanted to know what she'd do, noting that it wouldn't bring back the dead colonists if she killed him.

"I didn't know what to say to that," Jim sighed. "Bones is annoying but he's usually right. I mean, what would it help? It wouldn't bring them back or erase the horrors that haunt my nightmares and Kevin's. It wouldn't help Tommy's wife either. I guess… I guess Uncle Jim and Hoshi can rest easier."

"So can you. You've been running from Tarsus for half your life, you just didn't realize it. Or maybe you did and you ran anyway. It's something I've always admired about you. A lesser person would've fallen apart. You keep fighting, even when it looks like you don't have any fight left. Even when it's a losing battle before you show up, you still fight. You wanna tell me about the bomb?"

She shrugged, "Spock found it under my desk, I wasn't even in here. He disabled it and he figured out how it got in here in the first place. Kodos' daughter, Lenore."

Jim confronted Karidian, asking him point blank whether or not he was Kodos. The man gave her evasive answers, but Jim never got a real answer because Riley snuck out of medical, got a phaser and tried to kill the man who murdered his family. Jim talked her friend down and that's when everything came to light. Karidian was Kodos and his daughter was the one killing the Tarsus Nine.

"Kodos was actually horrified that there was more blood on his hands but Lenore was determined to 'silence' me and Kevin. I talked to her, tried to make her see that all she did was kill a bunch of innocent people. She called us dangerous." Jim let out a humorless laugh. "Her father slaughtered the people we loved and she called _us_ dangerous. I called security to take her into custody, she grabbed Henderson's phaser and tried to shoot me, Kodos got in her way. He died saving my life. How fucked up is that? The man who has haunted my thoughts and memories… he died saving my life. What am I supposed to do with that?"

Jim started crying again and, if he was being honest, he had a few tears of his own. Chris didn't know what to say. How do you deal with the fact that your boogeyman was also your savior? He didn't even know where to begin with that. "What are you doing here? Where is here?" she finally asked.

"Spock and McCoy were worried about you. One of them talking to me is normal, both of them, not so much. I knew something was wrong anyway, they just confirmed it. The ship is docked at Starbase Two. McCoy used his medical authority to give your crew a real shore leave, I just signed off on it. I know you're mad at me but when I found out what was goin' on, I had to make sure you were okay. You can be pissed about it if you want."

"I'm not mad at you," she shook her head. "I just…"

"You're just used to taking care of yourself and you still don't know how to deal with someone willing to take risks for you. I get your worry about my career but I can walk away from Starfleet, it's you I can't walk away from. And what's more, I don't want to. "

She tilted her head back a little so that she could look at him, "I don't know what to say about that."

"I know. Talking about your feelings isn't your thing and you've been through the ringer in the past few days. It's okay. When you're ready, you'll have a response and I'll never hear the end of it. For now, I'll just enjoy the silence," he told her.

"Hey," she playfully pinched his side.

"I'm a little mad at you. You hung up on me and you didn't say I love you. That was eight days ago. For future reference, I don't like it."

Jim shifted so that she was sitting on his lap. She touched her forehead to Chris', "I love you. I'm sorry I was being a brat and I hung up on you without saying it. I love you. I love you. I love you." She pressed a soft kiss against his lips. "I love you, Christopher Richard McKinnies Prescott Pike. I love you, with your really long name," Jim chuckled.

"Blame my parents," he smiled.

"I doubt Charlie had anything to do with Prescott. That was your step-dad's name."

Chris nodded, "Yes, Miss Kirk, it was. I love you too, by the way. Even if your name is short."

"So, how long do I get to keep you here?"

"I'm on leave for a week," he smiled. "I'll stay unless there's emergency or you kick me off the ship. You might want to tell McCoy you're okay before he comes in here though. He's really worried, Spock too. And you probably need to check on Riley."

"I know. That's a whole other problem. Now everybody knows. It's not like I wasn't on the list but the reality of it… I mean, Bones always knew, Uhura and Gaila knew at the academy, but everybody else… I never planned to tell them. They know and I don't know what to do about it."

He nodded, "You have to talk to them, sweetheart."

"I don't wanna. Can't I just hide in here with you?"

Chris smiled, "You could try but McCoy and your yeoman could walk right through the door. I'm sure Spock, Scott, Chekov and Gaila could hack it. Uhura and Sulu are scary, so you'd let them in. No point in hiding. If you want, I'll be here with you. It's not like your senior staff doesn't already know about us."

"Okay… If you're here and Bones is here, I can do it. I hope."

Chris took her face in his hands, "I got you back, sweetheart."

* * *

"Why didn't you say anything, lass?" Scotty asked her as the senior staff, plus Gaila, Rand and Riley sat in Jim's quarters.

"The people who needed to know, knew," Jim sighed. "When I was thirteen I watched a bunch of men kill my uncle, Hoshi Sato, Riley's parents and four thousand of their friends, family members and neighbors. I saved a bunch of children from being slaughtered. I killed people. I stole. I used by body to make sure those kids had food. I have scars that only Bones and Chris have seen. I still have nightmares. I left the last pieces of my childhood on that barren wasteland. Oh, and people think my father's death is the only bad thing that's ever happened to me. That sound like a fun conversation to you?"

Everyone shook their heads. Chris could admit that it didn't even sound that bad when he read her file. Of course, he had taken her advice and had a few drinks when he looked through her information. He was glad he did.

"I'm so…" Rand started.

Jim cut the yeoman off, "Don't. Please. I've heard that phrase so many times. The doctors, the shrinks, Starfleet. I can't hear 'I'm sorry,' not about Tarsus, it means less than nothing to me. It happened. I'm not dead, the rest of it I have to take one day at a time."

Sulu looked at her, "You should've told us. All that bro-in' out we do… you know I got your back. Next time, I'm stabbing people first and asking questions later."

For a second, no one said anything, then Jim started to laugh. "I love you so much, bro." Jim leaned forward and fist bumped her friend.

"Here they go, Team Gold," McCoy muttered. Chris shook his head, "When did that start?"

Jim and Sulu shrugged in unison, "Long story."

They started laughing again, and that set off everyone but Spock. It was good to see Jim like this. He could almost forget why he was here when she laughed like that.


	14. Fourteen

"You're getting soft, kid," Chris told Jim after she dodged another one of his swings. He knows she has a much better offense than the one she was giving him right now and it was a little insulting. Jim didn't say anything, she just nodded and rolled her shoulders. He chuckled, "At least make it look good, we have an audience."

He watched as she looked around. Wherever Jim was in her head, she didn't notice that a good chunk of her officers were now in the gym watching them spar. "They need to find something else to do," she muttered.

"They're on leave," he smiled. "Besides, how often do you think they get to see an admiral and a captain fight with each other? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I…" Jim started but she couldn't seem to find the words.

"Use it," Whatever you're feeling, use it. You won't hurt me," Chris said. It was one of the handful of things he knew with all his heart.

"I could," she pointed out.

"I know. But you won't. Come on, I miss sparring with you."

Jim smiled, "You miss getting your ass handed to you?" Chris gave her a look before he swung again, this time, Jim followed her dodge with a swing. Chris caught her arm and attempted to flip her but she elbowed him in the side and kicked his feet from under him. "You didn't think it was gonna be easy, did you, Chris?" That sounded more like his girl. 

He pushed himself back to his feet, "Nope. I did forget how much you like beating up senior officers though."

"You mean Commander Van der Byl?" she shrugged. "And I didn't beat her up. She asked me to spar with her and it's not my fault that I fight better than she does. That woman was such a bitch to me... a lot of people were but she seemed particularly upset with me every time I saw her. I never figured out why."

"It was me," Chris said as he took another swing. Jim blocked and sent a kick in his direction.

He caught her leg and she huffed, "What about you?"

"Van der Byl hit on me all the time," he sighed. "I turned her down and she had herself convinced that you were the reason."

Jim caught his face with a jab and shifted her weight, using the grip he had on her leg to her advantage. "Was I?"

He should've been paying attention to what she doing and not what she was saying because she gripped his elbows, pulled him off balance and dropped them both on the deck, freeing her leg and rolling away.

"She should do that again so we can see how she did it," Chris heard one of Jim's officers mutter.

"Wanna slow that down and do that again for the kids?" he asked.

"Sure." Jim looked at the officer he heard, "Doctor Hendrickson, come on over." A young lieutenant in a blue unisex uniform stepped on the mats. Hendrickson looked like she could be Uhura's younger sister, with some of the same facial features and a similar build as the communications officer. "I'm guessing you only took basic hand-to-hand?"

Hendrickson nodded, "Yes, ma'am. There's not much use for it in stellar cartography."

Jim nodded at the girl and explained the counter move for an opponent catching your leg during a kick. Everyone watched as Jim let the girl practice the move on her a few times before the captain smiled, "Okay, try it on him, he's bigger than me."

"The admiral, ma'am? I don't think that I could..." Hendrickson started.

"It's okay," Chris chuckled. "How many chances are you gonna get to drop an admiral on his ass without getting in trouble for it?"

"If you're sure, sir," the girl smiled. He nodded and took a step away from her. Just like she practiced with Jim, Hendrickson kicked, he caught it, she caught his neck with a punch, shifted her weight, pulled him off balance and flipped him onto the mat. The other officers in the room let up a cheer.

Jim smiled, "Not bad, Doc. Anyone else?"

One of the officers in gold raised his hand, "Can you show us that flip/jump move you did earlier, ma'am?"

He knew what move the officer was talking about. Chris shook his head, "I'm not doing that again."

"Wuss," Jim chuckled. "Hendorff, help me out." The security officer joined Jim on the mat and Chris stepped back so they didn't accidentally hit him.

The move was all about using body weight and downward momentum to flip somebody. Normally, there was no way to slow down a jump/flip like this one but Jim wasn't heavy and Hendorff was strong enough to hold onto her. She explained the whole thing before they did it at half speed. Hendorff had a hold on her from behind, Jim reached back, gripped his neck, jumped up, curled into a ball, kicked out, used their combined body weight to pull them both down and flipped the burly security officer over her shoulder.

The ensign who asked Jim to see the move watched the whole thing closely. Chris looked at him, "If you ask, I'm sure they'll let you give it a try."

The young man –Ensign Preston from weapons- nodded, "Yes, sir." The kid asked and Jim nodded, volunteering to let him flip her. It took three tries but eventually Preston nailed it. The kid smiled, "I can't believe that worked. Thank you for teaching us that, Captain."

"No problem, Preston," Jim said as she patted him on the back. They –Chris, Jim, Hendorff and eventually Sulu- ended up teaching the group a few more moves before Jim called it quits. She promised the assembled officers that she'd find some time to do this again and asked Hendorff to put something together.

"You never did answer my question," she muttered as they stepped into the turbolift.

"What question?" he asked.

"Commander Van der Byl. Was I the reason you turned her down?"

_Jim had finished out the majority of her class work and she helping him with the last minute details that were going into the Enterprise. The ship, his ship, was almost ready for launch. In a few months, he would be sitting in the command chair, boldly going to parts unknown. It was an exciting time for him and the team he was putting together._

_Lieutenant Commander Spock was one of the Academy's top graduates, ever. The young Human/Vulcan hybrid was slated to be his XO and chief science officer. Chris snagged Doctor Naira Puri from FleetMedComm to be his chief medical officer. McCoy, despite his dislike and fear of all things space related, was going to be a senior medical officer. When it came to his chief tactical officer, Chris couldn't think of anyone better for the job than Jim, that turned out to be part of the problem. Because of the time he spent with her, people automatically assumed that he was sleeping with Jim._

_The worst of it came from Commander Alana Van der Byl, the engineer in charge of the Enterprise build. He'd been having a problem with Van der Byl for years, it's only gotten worse in the last few months. She wanted him. It wasn't some overinflated sense of self, she's told him as much on a few occasions. Chris could admit that he found the woman physically attractive and smart as hell, but there was something about her that he just didn't like._

_Every time they were in the same place, she'd flirt with him, try to get him alone or ask him out to dinner. Chris turned her down nicely quite a few times but over the course of the semester, he hadn't been as nice about it anymore. That also happened to be when Jim finally had time to be more hands on with the ship._

_Before, Jim would work from San Fran, coordinating with Van der Byl's second in command, Lieutenant Saunders. Now, Jim would take the trip out to Riverside with Chris and she was on the roster to take the ship to the starbase. For some reason, the commander seemed to think that Jim was the reason he didn't like her. Van der Byl went as far as filing an official accusation with the brass that led to an inquiry._

_Chris spent nine hours in a room defending every interaction he'd ever had with Jim in front of a bunch of admirals. Fortunately, Richard was one of those admirals and he vouched for Chris. The captain actually laughed when Richard told him what Jim said after the admiral asked her about their relationship. Something about her being that dumb but Chris would never go there._

_As much as he wanted to be as noble as Jim made him seem, Chris would be lying if he said he didn't think about it. Given another time and place, he could see it. It was a dangerous thought to have. He was her friend, her mentor and he outranks her by a mile. It was something that couldn't, shouldn't and wouldn't happen. Van der Byl, and everyone else for that matter, should find something else to occupy their time and thoughts._

"You weren't the reason I turned her down, she just thought you were. I didn't like her, I mean I really didn't like her but she get that. I'm kinda insulted now that I think about it."

Jim chuckled, "That she was a bitch to your protégé, or that she thought you were pussy-whipped, or that she didn't respect you enough to accept that your response was based on your own thoughts and feelings?"

"Those are all good reasons too," Chris muttered.

Jim looked at him as they stepped out of the turbolift and walked to her quarters, "The other reason?"

"That stupid fraternization hearing."

"The one you didn't tell me about? That was her?" she asked.

"Yep. How'd you find out about that anyway?"

"Um… you have met me, right? If I need to know something, I have my ways of getting information."

"Who told you?" Chris chuckled.

Jim rolled her eyes, "Nobody. I had access to your office, remember. I hacked the console and looked at your schedule. You were acting really weird and I just wanted to know why. I figured that as long as I stayed away from classified information no one would even notice."

He shook his head, "What am I gonna do with you?"

"I vote for you joining me in the shower."

* * *

"Come here often?" asked a voice behind him.

"No, ma'am. Just takin' a bit of shore leave," he smiled.

The woman chuckled, "So, you're in Starfleet. What do you do?"

He looked at her as she took the seat next to him, "I'm in charge of a bunch of ships. I usually work out of headquarters."

"You work on Earth and you took your leave all the way out here?" she asked.

"I miss being in space. I love my billet but HQ is half politics and half paperwork. Space is… easier," Chris told her.

"I don't know about it being easier. Different, maybe," she smiled. "So, you miss space and decided to came all the way out here when there are plenty of better spots in the galaxy a lot closer to home. I'm not buying that for one second."

"Well, there's a woman."

She made a motion to the bartender to refill his drink and order herself one of the same. Then she nodded, "There's always a woman. Is she stationed here?"

"No. Her ship is docked here for the next few days," he said.

The woman smiled, "Must be something special for you to be all the way out here."

Chris smiled back at the blonde, "Love of my life. Her crew is on a five-year mission. I'll take any chance I can to see her, even if it's out here."

"Does she know how you feel?" 

"I hope so," he shrugged. "My girl's been through the ringer. She doesn't trust anyone easily. Hell, it took me years to get through to her. While I know she trusts me, there's a part of her that doesn't trust that I'll stick around."

"Why do you think that?" she asked.

"She's scared. She loves me and it's scares the crap out of her because she's lost so many people. I love her and I'm not goin' anywhere. If she doesn't know anything else, she knows that," he sighed.

She smiled, "I do know that, Chris."

"I know you do. Everything okay with the ducklings?" he asked.

Jim sighed, "Yea. You know how baby officers get." 

"Oh, I know. Bar fights and one-night stands. And you're the one who has to deal with it," Chris smiled. 

"I thought it was just commanding a ship but, you really do miss being out here, don't you?"

Chris nodded, "Like that's a real question. Hell yea, I miss it. I'm not supposed to be riding a desk, I'm supposed to be doing something… anything else."

"I'm guessing that being in charge of me doesn't help," Jim muttered.

Chris sighed as the bartender sat another drink in front of him, "Actually, you're one of the better captains in the Constitution fleet. Which is sad when you consider that you're also the newest and youngest captain of the bunch. Some of your 'peers' make me question my sanity on an almost daily basis. I kinda wish I'd said no to being in charge of a dozen cowboys… and girls."

She smiled, "Can't be that bad."

"It has its moments, I suppose. Can we talk about something else? Work is not a leave conversation," Chris said.

Jim chuckled, "We can talk about whatever you want as long as it's not about work, my mom, what happened that brought you out here to check on me or, most importantly, about you leaving in a few days."

"That's the most important one?" he asked with a smile.

"Yep and I'm not talking about it."

Chris chuckled, "Fair enough, sweetheart."

* * *

"Welcome back, Chris," Marcus said as soon as Chris walked into his office. Tyler didn't warn him that the other admiral was there.

"Thank you, sir. What can I do for you this early in the morning?" Chris asked. Getting visits from the commanding officer of Starfleet wasn't odd to him anymore but visits at oh-seven hundred were not common at all.

"How was your leave?" Marcus asked.

"It was good, sir," Chris said.

 "And how is Kirk?" the other man asked. So, that's what this was about.

"To my knowledge, she's good, sir," Chris answered. It was the truth, when he left the ship, she was good. 

The older admiral chuckled, "You spent the week with her on the Enterprise, try harder. How's Kirk?"

Since Marcus knew about Jim's childhood and he obviously knew they were together, Chris figured that there was no point in lying or denying. Chris shrugged, "She's okay now, she wasn't last week. Her crew had a run in with Kodos the Executioner. One of her childhood friends was killed, another was poisoned and the man who tried to kill her when she was thirteen died saving her life. She shut her crew out, her XO and CMO commed me."

"Because you're her mentor or because of your relationship with her?" Marcus asked.

Chris took a deep breath, "If I had to guess, both, sir."

The older man looked at him for a long minute. Marcus sighed, "You're in love with her." It wasn't a question so Chris didn't say anything, he just waited. The commander of Starfleet smiled, "PR is gonna love and hate this at the same time. They've been promoting her as the Federation's most eligible bachelorette. On the other hand, everybody loves a good love story."

"She's not ready for it to go public yet, sir. I doubt she'll ever truly be ready. Her life has been on display since she was a baby. People are quick to judge her or give their opinion but no one was protecting her when she needed it. Now, people think they have the right to know everything about her life but only if it fits into the preconceived notion that she had it easy. There's also the fact that she and I each have our enemies. I would hate if that ship was attacked because someone wanted my attention and decided that she was a good way to get it. We've already seen what she'll do to protect me and we weren't even together back then. I recommend letting the Federation think she's single… at least, for now."

Marcus sighed, "You know the position the fleet's been in over the last two and a half years. We need all the good press we can get. Nevertheless, I see your point. For now, you and Kirk can keep your relationship to yourselves and your families but there will come a time when we'll have to turn the spotlight on you two. Be ready for that."

Chris nodded, "Yes, sir. If I may ask…"

"How'd I know? I've been keeping an eye on you since I was your CO on the York. I've seen you flirt, I've seen you date but I've never seen you in love… until now. You've been different since the day you recruited Kirk. You've been even more different since the Enterprise was last here. It took me a second to figure out what it was. You love that girl. At first, I was sure it was nothing more than friendship but now…" Marcus let the sentence trail off. Chris smiled, the old men was right. "Don't hurt her, Chris. That crew of hers would have your strung up by your toes in a heartbeat."

"I've been warned… a few times," Chris smiled.

Marcus chuckled as he stood up, "I'm sure. Those kids scare me and give me hope for the future all at the same time. I got some assignments coming down the pipe that I'll toss your way. Get you off this rock a little more." Chris nodded as his CO left the office. He could read between the lines, Marcus was gonna give him as many assignments to the Enterprise as he could.

* * *

_Starfleet Network Subspace Text Communication_   
_From: Kirk SC937-0176 CEC_ _  
_ _To: Pike SC731-0034 CCG_

_Kirk: Can you do me a favor?_  
_Pike: Depends. What do you need?_  
 _Kirk: Check on Joanna. Bones got a garbled message and when he tried to comm her back she didn't answer. She sounded panicked._  
 _Pike: I'll look into it and comm you when I get something._  
 _Kirk: Thanks, love._  
 _Pike: Anytime. I'll get back to you soon._

Chris started with the obvious option and commed Joanna, nothing. He tried Jocelyn, McCoy's ex-wife, but she didn't answer either. Finally, he commed McCoy's mother. She answered immediately, "This is Ellie."

"Misses McCoy, it's Admiral Pike…"

"Jo commed you. I've been trying to reach her. Is she okay?" the woman asked.

Now, Chris was worried. He shook his head, "I don't know, ma'am. Jim asked me to check on her. I tried her mother but she's not answering."

"She's trying to send Joanna off planet to some school but Jo doesn't want to go and Leo didn't give his okay. The way the custody agreement was written, Jocelyn needs his consent for something like this. I bet that girl commed her papa when she realized that he didn't know. I don't know where she is," Ellie sighed.

"I'll find her. Do you know where I should start?" Chris asked.

Ellie nodded, "Jocelyn got back together with Clay. His last name is Treadway and Jocelyn's maiden name is Darnell. The school is on Cerberus, I think."

"I comm you back when I find Joanna," he told her.

She sighed in relief. The woman has probably been worrying herself into a frenzy, "Thank you so much. I know you're a busy man…"

"I'm never too busy to look out for my people and their families, especially Jim and Leonard. Pike out."

* * *

"You can't stop us from leaving. I demand to talk to someone in charge," the man growled.

"You can talk to me," Chris said as he walked up to the group.

"Mister Chris!" Joanna's eyes lit up. She ran right to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Chris held her tight, "Hey, little McCoy. You okay?" Joanna wiped the tears off her face and nodded. Chris smiled and handed her his communicator, "Comm the Enterprise, let them know you're okay while I have a chat with your mother."

Chris instructed one of the security officers with him to stay with Joanna before he took a deep breath and looked at Jocelyn. The woman glared, "You have no right…"

He put his hand up to stop her from talking, "You can't take her out of this sector for any reason without her father's consent and you know it. That's the agreement you and your former husband came to. You have two options right now, you let Joanna come with me and I'll take her to her grandmother or you take her home. In either case, she is not getting on that transport and I have the authority to block all of you from getting off this planet. Since your… _husband_ has to travel for work, that would be unfortunate."

"Just who the hell do you think you are?" the man, that Chris figured was Clay, asked.

"I'm Vice Admiral Christopher Pike, Mister Treadway. I've given you your options, what's it gonna be?" Chris asked. Clay glared but didn't say anything.

Jocelyn sighed, "Take her." The look in her eyes told him that something was off but before he could address it, she took her husband's hand and pulled him away from the admiral. Chris motioned for the transport personnel to let them pass.

One of the young men walked over with a pink and orange duffel bag, "It's the girl's, sir."

Chris took the bag, thanked him and walked over to Joanna. She was sitting on a small ledge talking to Jim on the communicator, "Mister Chris is back. I think mom left without me."

Chris heard Jim sigh, "Can I talk to him?"

"Of course you can. I'll comm later. Thanks for sending me back up, Aunt Jimmy."

"You're very welcome, jelly bean. Love you," Jim said.

Joanna smiled, "Love you too. Here's Mister Chris."

"She's okay, sweetheart," Chris said into his communicator after Jo handed him the small device.

"I know. She talked to Bones. He's not steaming outta the ears anymore, so I figure it's not too bad… unless it is. I don't know what the hell Jocelyn was thinking. I mean I can understand why my mother did what she did, she was trying to protect Max but this… I don't get this," Jim sighed.

"Clay. She's with Clay and from the looks of it, this wasn't her idea. I got the feeling like she wanted to get Joanna away from him without making it look that way. I talked to Misses McCoy and she agreed that Joanna shouldn't be somewhere where Clay can get to her so she's gonna meet me in San Fran. They're both gonna stay with my folks for a little while and I'm gonna have a lawyer appointed to Jo because I doubt this is the end of it," Chris just had that feeling.

Jim chuckled, "Reason one thousand six hundred and eighty-six of why I love you. Thank you for this."

"Don't worry too much, Joanna's safe with me. We'll comm you later. I love you," he told her.

"I love you too. Kirk out."

Chris closed his communicator and looked at Joanna, "So, your grandmother's gonna meet us at my dad's house. How's that sound?"

The kid smiled, "Sounds like I get to avoid my evil stepfather for a while."


	15. Fifteen

"You look like you finally got some sleep," Chris said to Jim over the comm.

"Not as much as I need but still. Bones hypo'd me last night. I gotta come up with something a little more long term because I'll be damned if he spends the rest of this tour drugging me to sleep," she sighed.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Jim shook her head, "Can't I just pretend it's nothing and avoid having this conversation all together?"

"You could but that just means I'll have to talk to McCoy and he'll have to pry it out of you. It's time consuming. Besides, you wanna tell me anyway. What's wrong?" he asked.

She took a deep breath, "My nightmares are back. Not just back, they're worse. Tarsus and Nero and Harrison all mixed together. Instead of seeing the friends I lost… it's you and Max... Bones… everyone else. I wake up and I can't breathe. So, I haven't been sleeping to avoid that."

"That's not healthy, sweetheart. I know you don't like talking about this stuff but maybe you should see somebody," he told her.

"Talking about my feelings isn't really my thing, you know that," Jim shrugged. "The only person even remotely qualified to talk to me is Bones and seeing him die is part of my problem. Besides, I'm bad enough with regular doctors, you don't wanna see how I am with shrinks."

"I think I have an idea, I hate head docs too. You still need to talk to someone because you have to sleep and you aren't gonna be able to until you get it all out. I can't speak for anyone on the ship but me, Max, Jo… we're fine. Better than fine, actually," he told her.

Max went through AcPrep, got accepted to the Academy and was about to start his first year. The kid was gonna take a page from Jim's book and study duel focuses: helm and engineering. Ellie went back to Georgia but Joanna fell in love with Max's old school, so, with permission from her parents and help from her lawyer, she was staying in San Francisco with Charlie and Hobelia.

"I know you're all safe but that doesn't help. Maybe I do need a shrink," Jim muttered.

Chris smiled, "I'll see what I can do about that, sweetheart. For now, you need to go to bed. It's what… two a.m. on the Enterprise's clock?"

"Yea, something like that. Why?" she asked.

"I want you to do something. Get in the bed and curl up on your left side like you always do. Take the PADD with you," he told her. Jim raised an eyebrow but she did as he asked. It took her half a minute to get settled.

She sighed, "Okay… now what?"

"Put the PADD in the dock on the nightstand," he told her.

"What are you up to?" Jim asked.

"You'll see in a minute," Chris said. Jim shook her head but she complied. He smiled, "Lights, Jim." She ordered the computer to turn them down to five percent, that left a faint glow in the room but it was mostly dark.

"Now what?" she asked.

"Close your eyes and don't laugh at me," he sighed. "I'm gonna sing so be quiet." Jim opened her mouth to say something but he cut her off. "Jim," he gave her a look. She rested her head on the pillow and didn't say anything. His mom used to sing him to sleep so he figured it might help and Jim really needed the rest. "'Can I stay here with you, till the morning? I am so far from home, and I feel a little stoned. Can I stay here with you, till the morning? There's nothing I want more, than to wake up on your floor. Lay with me in your thinnest dress. Fill my heart with each caress. Between your blissful kisses, whisper darling, is this love?'" Jim's eyes were closed and he could tell she was starting to relax, so he kept going.

"'Can I stay here with you, till the day break? There's something you should know, I ain't got no place to go. Can I stay here with you, till the day break? How happy it would make me, to see your face when I awake. Lay with me in your thinnest dress. Fill my heart with each caress. Between your blissful kisses, whisper darling, is this love?'" he sang.

"Hmm… that's pretty," Jim whispered.

"It's called Can I Stay by Ray LaMontagne, written way back in 2006. I'll sing the rest tomorrow night," he smiled. "Sleep tight, sweetheart."

"Okay. Love you."

Chris knew she was already half-asleep, "Love you too." He sighed as he closed the comm from his end.

* * *

"I think I need Bones to check my eyes. I mean, I can't be looking at Vice Admiral Christopher Pike right now. This is _not_ your thing, in fact, you're a mediocre engineer, no offense. What are you doin' here?" Jim asked over his shoulder.

Chris chuckled as he turned around and made a motion to the small group of cadets he was with at the Annual Federation Engineering Symposium. "I'm babysitting."

Jim looked the group over, "So, that's the best and brightest of the Academy. Was I ever that… young looking?"

He thought about it for a second, "No. You never were. Even though people didn't like to acknowledge it, you always had a haunted look in your eyes. You always looked like you'd seen some stuff and you were always ready to pounce. McCoy and Gaila too now that I'm thinking about it. You three never looked like baby ducks. Neither does Max, which is funny since he just turned fourteen."

"Well, he takes after me," she smiled. You could see the pride in her eyes every time Max was even mentioned.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Keeping a promise I made to my engineers," Jim chuckled. "Scotty, Kevin, Gaila and Harper are over there. Chekov too." Chris looked past her and spotted the Enterprise's engineering dream team –plus the Russian wizkid- having a conversation with the keynote speaker, Doctor Lawrence 'Larry' Marvick. Larry was the Enterprise's head designer, so it was no doubt an interesting conversation. "They about tripped over themselves when they found out that I knew him and that I helped build the Enterprise. I promised to introduce him to them, so here we are. You wanna tell me why you're really here? Aside from me and Bones, you didn't babysit cadets when you were assigned to the Academy, no way you'd do it now. You have three ships in this system, I'm guessing one us is about to go on a mission. How classified?"

"I can't get anything past you," Chris smiled. "It's very classified. So classified that I have to read you in in-person. I'll be going with the Enterprise when you leave and nobody can know I'm there except you and Spock. The cadets will head back to San Fran on the Lexington."

"Sounds like it's gonna be a pain in our asses," Jim muttered.

"Most likely. But look on the bright side I get to spend the next few days hiding in your quarters on the Enterprise."

She smiled, "Well, that is the bright side."

* * *

Chris stood in the medbay as McCoy beamed back from the Romulan ship with Jim after Spock killed her on the Romulan ship. The southerner stared at Chris for a long minute before looking at Jim on the biobed, "She's not really dead."

"Of course she's not. Spock gave her a deep nerve pinch to block her life-signs from the Romulan bio-scanners. Give her a shot of adrenaline and she'll recover from the Vulcan death grip just fine," the admiral smiled.

"But there's no such thing as a Vulcan death grip," Nurse Chapel said.

"The Romulans apparently don't know that," Chris told the nurse. "I bet they're convinced that she was crazy and that Spock's a traitor who killed his captain."

McCoy huffed as he gave Jim a hypo, "Hell, I was almost convinced. Of all the crazy, stupid… What the…? She's lucky that they didn't start an autopsy!" Chris gave Jim's best friend a look and the doctor sighed, "How long have you been on the ship, anyway?"

Chris sighed, "Almost four days."

"How did nobody know that? And why?" McCoy asked, looking at him.

Jim groaned as she pushed herself into a seating position, "I knew… Spock too. Those were the orders. Need to know."

"You can bitch about it later, McCoy. Right now we have a job to do. Comm Scott and have him join us," Chris told him.

Everything was going as planned. Jim's lack of sleep and feigned instability had most of the Enterprise's crew convinced that something was wrong with her, even her best friend. Chris listened to McCoy's logs from the last few days and the Georgia native thought that Jim was having a mental break. Before the doctor could get her to talk about it, Jim ordered the Enterprise across the Federation/Romulan Neutral Zone and into Romulan space, where the Romulans quickly surrounded them.

Chris watched Jim's conversation with Romulan Subcommander Tal from her quarters as she agreed to an equal exchange of hostages, two Romulan officers would beam to the Enterprise while Jim and Spock beamed over to the Romulan's flagship. The plan was to make it look like Jim was out of her mind and acting outside the Federation's knowledge, in reality, Starfleet Command ordered her to steal one of their newly-developed cloaking devices.

Spock's job was to turn traitor on his captain, then 'kill' her when she attacked him in a fit of rage. The Romulan commander broadcasted a message to the Enterprise informing them of what happened. She then ordered the crew to have the Enterprise follow her to Romulus. As predicted, Scott refused. His exact words were, " _This is Acting Captain Scott. The Enterprise takes no orders except those of Captain James T. Kirk. As Commander Spock has obviously chosen a side and killed her, you now have to deal with me. If you make any attempt to board or commandeer the Enterprise, I will blow it to bits along with as many of you as we can take with us._ "

That was Chris' queue to let the chief medical officer and his head nurse in on the whole thing. He got to sickbay a minute before McCoy got back with Jim. Other than feeling like her neck was twisted off, Jim was okay. She was even making jokes about Spock and the Romulan commander. "Spock's got Commander Charvanek wrapped around his finger and she doesn't even know it. She's offering him his own command or a place with her. If she's not careful, she'll have to deal with Uhura when this is all over," Jim snickered.

The door to McCoy's office opened, "This had better be good, lad…" The engineer stopped short when he saw his captain. A slow smile formed on Scott's face, "Jim. Yer not dead, lass." He ignored protocol and hugged her. "Never do that to me again, I cannae take it," the Scot whispered.

"Sorry, Scotty, orders," Jim mumbled against his shoulder.

If McCoy, Spock and Sulu were Jim's protective brothers, Scott was the fun one. Chris stopped keeping track of all the shenanigans that Jim got into with her chief engineer or how many times they blew something up for the hell of it. If anything, the oldest member of her senior staff was the one who brought out the repressed childlike qualities in her personality.

Scott glanced at Chris, "Ye've been here the whole time, sir?"

The admiral nodded, "Yep. We need your brain, Scott."

"Me?" the engineer asked in surprise. "What would ye need me for, sir?"

"I'm gonna steal one of those fancy cloaking devices," Jim said with a smile. "We're gonna need you to hook it up to the ship's disruptor shields and have it working twenty minutes after I hand it to you."

"I dinnae…" Scott started.

Chris cut him off, "If anybody can do it, it's you. That's why the brass risked Jim and the Enterprise. Your team is the only one in the fleet who can pull this off, Mister Scott. Jim's gonna steal it, you're gonna use it to get us out of here and I'm gonna take it back to Earth. Jim, you ready to go back over there?"

"As I'll ever be," she sighed. "Chapel's gonna make me look like a Romulan and I'll grab a uniform from one of our guests, then I'll be all set. Let me know when Spock comms with the coordinates." The three men watched as the two blondes left the room to get Jim ready.

Chris looked at Scotty, "You can bring Gaila and Riley in to help with this. As far as the Romulans know, Jim's dead and you have the ship while Spock's over there. They plan to send a boarding party over, Spock's stalling them but we'll have to work fast. As soon as they realize that the device is gone, they'll come looking for it. You cannot let anyone know she's alive or that I'm here until we give you the okay."

"Understood, sir," Scott replied.

* * *

"I prefer the blonde," Chris told Jim as she beamed back with a device the size of a wrist chronometer and handed it off to Scott.

"Me too. Luckily, it'll wash out, she smiled. "I'll see you on the bridge. They need to start scanning for Spock's tracer because..." He nodded, "As soon as the Romulans realize what's going on, they'll kill him. Yes, ma'am." Jim rolled her eyes as she ran to her quarters to change uniforms.

Chris stifled a laugh at the looks of shock he got when he walked onto the bridge. Sulu was sitting in the command chair, "Oh, shit… sir."

"Pretty much," the admiral smiled. "Chekov, you need to scan the Romulan ship for Spock's tracer." Chris stepped over to the main science console and tapped in the frequency for the tiny device that Spock injected under the skin of his left arm.

Uhura looked at him with wide eyes, "I knew Spock wasn't a traitor."

"Not only is he not a traitor, he's playing with them to buy us some time. Even if he wasn't loyal to the Federation, and he is, there's no way in hell he'd hurt you or Jim like that. This was all by design," Chris told the communications officer.

Sulu chuckled, "Son of a… We're acting on orders. Well played, sir."

"We're not done yet, Lieutenant. Lay in a course for Outpost Tango Four," Jim said as she stepped onto the bridge. The looks directed at her ranged from surprise to amusement to tearful. Even with the fake ears and dark hair, the crew was happy to see her. Jim smiled as she sat in the command chair, "Sorry about that, guys. The Romulans had to think I really died and the only way they'd buy that was for you all to believe it too. Chekov, you find my first officer yet?"

"Yes, Keptin. I sent the information to Lieutenant Kyle and he has transporter lock, as soon as we give him the word, he'll transport the commander back. I'm glad you're not dead, Jim," the young Russian told her.

"Me too, Pasha," she smiled before shifting into command mode. "Alright people, we just need to hold out until the engineering badasses can work their magic." She hit the comm on the command chair, "Please tell me something good, guys and girl."

"Almost done, Captain. When this is over, I'm gonna kick your ass for making me cry," Gaila replied.

"You're gonna kick my ass for making you cry…"

"Ma'am,"the engineer chuckled.

"I'm looking forward to it. We're running low on time, Gee. Let me know when you have that thing ready to go," Jim said. Gaila acknowledged the order and cut the comm.

It was the longest fifteen minutes of Chris' life. If this didn't work, they'll all be dead in a matter of minutes. Worse, the threat the cloaking device poses to the safety of the Federation would still be out there. As soon as Scott gave the okay, Jim had Spock beamed back to the Enterprise and the Romulan commander beamed over with him for some reason.

Commander Charvanek ordered her first officer to destroy the Enterprise when Jim talked to him on vid-comm but it was pointless. "Commander, you'll forgive me if I put up a fight," Jim told the other woman.

"Of course, Captain. It's expected," the Romulan nodded. Scotty threw the switch on the cloaking device and Sulu maneuvered them into a different course.

"Let's see how they like it," Jim muttered as they made their escape. They watched the Romulan ship as it fired it's weapons past them. "Mister Sulu, warp nine," Jim ordered.

"Yes, ma'am. The ears look cool on you, by the way," Sulu said as he punched in the coordinates.

Jim smiled, "Thanks. Mister Hendorff, quarters for our guest. We'll drop her off on the outpost."

Charvanek looked at Jim, "You're not gonna kill me or order me to the brig. You're far more merciful than I."

"I'm a warrior, not a murderer," Jim shrugged. Charvanek didn't say anything as the security officer escorted her off the bridge. Jim stood from the command chair, "Uhura, let Admiral Marcus know that Operation: Vanish was successful and we'll rendezvous with our contact at the outpost in fourteen hours. Admiral, if you'd be so kind as to take the con, I'm gonna go un-Spock myself."

"I don't know, I don't like the hair but I think Sulu's onto something about the ears," Chris smirked.

"I must agree with the admiral, Captain. You would make an aesthetically pleasing Vulcan," Spock told her.

"I'm way too emotional to be a Vulcan and not ruthless enough to be a Romulan," she laughed. "If it's all the same to you, I'm gonna go being my plain ol' Human self."

Uhura chuckled, "There's nothing plain about you, Captain."

"A girl can dream," Jim muttered as the doors to the turbolift closed.

* * *

"Admiral Pike, it's good to see you again. Captain Kirk, it's an honor to finally meet you," the Starfleet Intelligence officer said in his crisp British accent as they joined him in Tango Four's bar. Commander Neil Tyson, or Ty, was the best of the best and the broad strokes of this mission were his. Unlike a lot of other intel officers, he thought that operatives –in this case, Jim and Spock- should iron out the details themselves to make it more real.

"The honor's all mine, Commander. The admiral has been talking you up for the last few days," Jim told the man.

Ty chuckled, "He talks about you too, ma'am. I swear, if he uses the term 'best and brightest' again I'm gonna lose it."

"Has he done the whole 'I see greatness in you' line yet?" she asked. Tyson served under Chris when he was the XO on the Aldrin, and again when Chris was the CO on the Yorktown before the tactical officer was recruited into intelligence almost six years ago.

"So that's not just me? I was beginning to wonder, ma'am," Tyson said with a smile. To anyone watching them, it looked like an admiral introducing two of his top officers to each other. In reality, Ty was part of their op and Chris' ride back to Earth.

"Nope, he used it on me a few times. Please, call me Kirk," she told the other officer.

Ty nodded, "In that case, call me Ty. How did it go?"

"Good. We got what we needed and my crew's intact. I'm gonna let 'em have a few hours before we head out again. I doubt you two have that kind of time on your hands," Jim said.

"You're quite right, we gotta get _it_ back to R &D so they can start working out how to disrupt it. As long as _they_ have that tech, we're at a disadvantage. Too bad we can't make nice with our other neighbors, it might help," Ty nodded.

"Actually, we might be coming to terms with them thanks to this one," Chris said as he motioned to Jim.

Ty raised an eyebrow, "That sounds like a story."

"More than one," Jim smiled. "The admiral can tell you about all that later."

"Sounds like a plan. We really should get out of here, sir," Ty said.

The three officers made their way out of the bar and headed to a small ship at the dock. Lieutenants Hendorff and Kai were there, one with Pike's bag and the other with a small case that held the device. Ty shook Jim's hand, "Maybe we'll get a real chance to work together, Captain."

"Maybe we will, Commander," she smiled before turning her attention to Chris. "As always, it was a pleasure, Admiral."

"It was. Stay outta trouble, kid," he smiled.

Jim chuckled, "Now, where's the fun in that, Chris? Have a safe trip home."

"Will do, Jim." He took the bag and case from her security officers and followed his former tactical officer into the small ship they were flying back to Sol.

"So that's _The_ Captain Jim Kirk. She's hot, I wonder if she's single," Ty said after they were cleared to retract their moorings and depart from the starbase.

Chris sighed, "She's taken."

Ty chuckled, "That's one lucky bloke, sir."

"Yes, he is," Chris smiled, he was very lucky, indeed.


	16. Sixteen

"You can't deny that her father has something to do with Captain Kirk's success, Admiral," the woman said to him. Chris hated these interviews, they always seemed to go from nice and admirable to insulting in two seconds flat. The only up side was that he was the one in the hot seat and not Jim, he had a bit more practice dealing with the press when they pissed him off than she did. Of course, this was _supposed_ to be about the Constitution fleet and it veered into a conversation about Jim.

Chris sighed, "Jim Kirk earned her place. Every degree, every proficiency, graduating from the Academy at three years. She worked for all of that. As her advisor at the Academy, I saw the blood, sweat, tears, dedication and heart that she poured into being the best officer that she could be. And she's not good, or even great, she's one of the best officers in the fleet and I'm lucky to have had the honor of serving with her. I'm insulted, not just for myself but for Starfleet and for Kirk, at the idea that she's a good officer based solely on her last name, especially when the only thing her father's name did was paint a target on her back."

His interviewer looked a bit taken back, most people didn't defend Jim. He's seen plenty of officers give very diplomatic answers where the flagship's captain is concerned, refusing to admit that she's as good as she thinks she is but not wanting to offend the savior of Earth, just in case they needed her help. Chris watched the woman collect herself before she asked her next question.

"You recruited her, trained her, she was your TA, she saved your life and your crew, she has command of _your_ ship. Aren't you biased?" she asked.

"A little," Chris smiled. "I can admit that I have a soft spot for Kirk but not for any of the reasons you mentioned. When I read through her file, I learned that she was on Tarsus Four during the massacre and that she was a member of the Tarsus Nine. To see the scars, physical and emotional, and the look in her eyes when she talks about the people on that colony. To hear from a bunch of kids she saved that are now doctors and scientists and Starfleet officers. To know what that brilliant woman went through and to watch her keep fighting the good fight for others… It's impossible not to respect that."

"Is it respect, Admiral? Or is it something more?" she asked.

Chris chuckled, "I think we all know your real question, go ahead and ask it. I'll give you the same answer I give everyone else."

The woman smiled, "Are you and Kirk involved with each other?" He hated the question. Not because it was being asked, but because it didn't matter how he answered it, it would cheapen everything else he already said about Jim.

"I'm not in the practice of commenting about who I may or may not be involved with for security reasons. I don't know Kirk's stance on discussing her personal relationships, you'd have to ask her who she's involved with."

* * *

"My brother sent me your interview," Jim told him.

"It wasn't that bad, was it?" he sighed.

"Well, considering it was about the ships and she ambushed you with questions about me, I think it was okay," she said. "You could've told her about us, I don't mind. It would bring about a bunch of questions… than again, it always has. The only person we needed to be cautious about is Marcus and he knows. It doesn't have to be a state secret, love."

"Enough people think you slept your way into my chair, I'm not adding fuel to the fire," Chris muttered.

"Maybe we could control the firestorm. Talk about it on our terms. I don't know, like… going public with it," Jim sighed. He'd be lying if he said he didn't like the idea of being able to say 'Yes, she's mine.' No hiding, no lying, just them.

"You sure, Jim? I mean, once it's out there, we can't take it back."

"You'd want to take it back?" she asked.

Chris sighed, "No. I'd shout it from the rooftops. You, on the other hand, have a hard time dealing with your personal life out there. You have every right to feel that way and I don't want you to regret not keeping something to yourself."

"While I do enjoy keeping you to myself, it's not gonna last forever. If we don't tell the press, they'll just make shit up. That was my problem with the press and my private life, nobody ever bothered to find out about my life. They all seemed to think it was their business but they never got it right. If we do this our way, at least we'll be able to control what's out there. Besides, think of all the great press Starfleet will get," she told him.

"You sound like Marcus," he whispered.

Jim smiled, "Great minds think alike. Just sleep on it. I gotta go, my boss is a hard ass."

Chris chuckled, "I am not."

She raised an eyebrow, "You most certainly are. It's a nice ass, too. Love you."

He smiled, "Love you too, crazy girl."

* * *

"So, you kissed Uhura," Chris said. Jim's ears turned a beautiful shade of red.

She took a breath, "They made us do it."

"I saw that in the report. You okay?" he asked.

Jim raised an eyebrow, "Wait, you're not mad?"

"That you kissed Uhura? No. I wish you took a holo. That you tried to help someone and they took away your free will? Yes. But not at you."

Chris had to do a double take when he read her after action report. The Enterprise responded to a medical emergency distress call on an unknown planet that modeled themselves after the teachings of Plato. Parmen, their leader, had a massive infection in his leg and was close to death. Jim, McCoy and Spock beamed down to help.

McCoy worked his magic and fixed the injury and Parmen requested that he stay on the planet. Of course, the doctor refused. This is when Jim and company found out about the 'Platonians' powerful psychokinetic abilities. The group, their leader especially, decided to play with the Enterprise officers.

Parmen used his abilities to intimidate and humiliate Jim and Spock into compliance. First, he made them sing a song and dance a jig. When Jim told McCoy that she wasn't going to leave her best friend behind, Parmen made her recite part of Shakespeare's Sonnet LVII: " _Being your slave what should I do but tend. Upon the hours, and times of your desire? I have no precious time at all to spend; nor service to do, 'til you ..._ " Then Parmen made Spock dance some more and forced the Vulcan to laugh and cry, torturing his psychology by forcing his emotions.

At some point McCoy offered to stay if Parmen would let everyone else go but Jim refused, pointing out that once they were gone they and the Enterprise will be destroyed. Alexander, a non-telekinetic Platonian, spoke up and informed them that Jim was right. He even told them about how the group got their powers after they started eating the local food. After some additional medical magic from McCoy, they inject themselves with the same substance that caused the others to be powerful. That's when the Platonians force Uhura and Chapel to beam down, unable to speak.

Made to change into local clothing, the officers –minus McCoy- is compelled to entertain the Platonians. Parmen made Spock sing, what Jim calls the "serenade from the laughing spaceman" to Uhura and Chapel. Then, they were forced into pairs: Jim with Uhura and Spock with Chapel. Both pairs were forced to kiss each other while everyone looked on.

When Parmen tried to make them hurt each other is when the injection McCoy gave Jim worked and she was able to resist. With that, she refused to do anything else as Parmen kept trying to force her will. Being Jim, she talked him into seeing it from her point of view, using some of her new powers on the group's leader. After a chat, Parmen promised to be benevolent towards future visits by other starships and let the officers go.

"You still all powerful?" Chris asked.

"Wore off hours ago," Jim chuckled. "Sorry, no party tricks. Just sleep but I doubt you wanna watch that."

"I love watching you sleep," he smiled. "You snuggle as close to me as you can and you press your face against my chest. You cling to me, it's cute."

"I do not. Shut up," she smiled.

Chris shook his head, "You do and I love it. Go get some rest; the galaxy will need you again tomorrow."

Jim gave him a playful salute, "Yes, sir. Admiral Sexy, sir."

* * *

"La la la la la… how's that song go. La…" Chris had an old song stuck in his head but for the life of him, he couldn't remember how it started. He looked out the window and strummed his guitar hoping it came to him. "Hmm hmm hmm."

" _I know a girl. She puts the color inside of my world. But she's just like a maze. Where all of the walls all continually change_ …" Jim sang. He smiled, " _And I've done all I can. To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands. Now I'm starting to see. Maybe it's got nothing to do with me._ _Fathers, be good to your daughters. Daughters will love like you do. Girls become lovers who turn into mothers. So mothers, be good to your daughters too._ When did the Enterprise get here?"

"It's not here. It's just me. The ship's at Terra Nova doing a geological survey. Marcus figured that since we were close, I could actually be here. So here I am," she replied. Jim pulled off her jacket before she sat on the coffee table in front of him and swiped his beer. They were scheduled to spill the beans about their relationship the next day. Chris figured that Jim would appear for the recording via comm but FleetPR must've had other ideas.

He sat his guitar next to him and pulled her into his lap. Jim chuckled, "Hi."

"Hello," he smiled. "How long are you staying?"

She pressed a soft kiss against his lips, "I gotta meet the ship in four days. Until then, I'm all yours."

Chris kissed her neck, "Thought you were already mine, Miss Kirk."

"That's true. I am yours and soon everyone will know it," Jim sighed. She gave him one of those beautiful smiles that he loves so damn much.

"You ready for this?" Chris asked. "You know, telling the whole Federation?"

She looked away for a second before she smiled, "I spent my life taking crap for shit that had nothing to do with me. I didn't pick my family. Had no choice in my name. Even Starfleet was destined. I never had the chance to say anything about this crazy life. But you… They could take my name and my ship and I wouldn't care because I have you. Tomorrow, I get to talk about how amazing you are and about how much I love you. Never been more ready for that."

* * *

"So this is how it's gonna go..." Admiral Taffer, the man in charge of FleetPR, began as they stood in Admiral Marcus' kitchen.

Chris chuckled, "No interview goes how it's supposed to, even with the pre-approved questions. Fortunately, we've had press training, we'll be fine."

"Look, this isn't just about the two of you anymore," Taffer sighed.

"Story of my fuckin' life, sir," Jim said from behind them. "My birthday is a Federation holiday for cryin' out loud. People have been in my face about my father and the Kelvin as long as I could remember. We know that this reflects on the fleet but we also know what we're doing. They didn't make him an admiral because he looks good in the uniform."

Chris gave her a once over. She was wearing a pale pink dress with turquoise shoes, pink and turquoise earrings and her long, blonde hair fell in waves. He made a motion to her outfit when she raised an eyebrow. "That's not fair."

"Have you looked in a mirror, ever?" she asked with a smile.

"Yes I have. I'm getting old," Chris smiled.

Jim rolled her eyes, "Oh, please. Not this again. Has anyone ever told you that you're only as old as the woman you feel? In your case, that makes you twenty-nine."

"Let me guess, you got that from Charlie?" he asked with a laugh.

She nodded, "Of course I did. I just talked to him, he said to comm when we're done."

"Charlie?" Taffer asked them.

"Master Chief Charles Pike," Jim said.

"My father," Chris added. Before the other admiral could say anything, the producer told them that they were ready to get started. The officers were ushered into the living room were a woman and an imager operator.

Marcus actually smiled at them, "Pike, Kirk, this is Delara Grax. She'll be your interviewer."

Introductions were made before Jim and Chris got settled next to each other on the couch. Jim whispered, "I can't believe the admiral is letting us do this here."

"I can," he smiled. "Everyone needs to see us as people and my apartment's not… homey enough for that. It's also why they have you in pale pink."

She chuckled, "How do you know I didn't pick this dress?"

"I know you did, but you didn't have that many color options. No red, blue, gold or gray because those are uniform colors. Everything else was pale. Pale pink, pale green, pale purple and white. The idea is to make people see your softer side. To see the woman instead of the officer," he told her.

"Did you work for PR in another life?" she asked him.

Chris shook his head, "No, I've just been around a while."

They stopped talking just as Delara sat in the chair near them. The woman smiled, "Oh, don't stop on my account. I like to do my interviews as simple conversations between people. That okay with you?" They both nodded. Delara made sure the man with the imager was ready before she smiled, "So, I suppose my first question is the easiest. How do I address you? Is it Admiral and Captain or do you guys prefer something else?"

"We just go with Jim and Chris," he told her.

Jim chuckled, "Or we could go with Chris and Jim, switch it all around. I could be Chris Kirk."

"And I'd be Jim Pike?" Chris chuckled.

"That doesn't sound half bad, actually," she smiled. "We better be careful with that though because next people will think we got hitched and that's a whole different conversation."

"Yesterday, Starfleet announced that you were a couple. How did that come about?" Delara asked.

Chris squeezed Jim's hand, "I've always been a believer that the heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to it. Sometimes, you meet someone and you fall in love and that's that. Other times, the person you love has been right in front of you and you didn't realize it."

"Everyone knows people who were friends for a long time and became a couple," Jim smiled. "We're those friends. There's always been a bond with us, it's just a different bond now."

"You've both been adamant for years that you were nothing more than friends, are you denying that that's true?" Delara asked.

"Actually we haven't denied being a couple since we became one," Jim chuckled. "Chris usually avoids answering the question at all and I make jokes about it."

Chris nodded, "A lot of Jim's life has been in the public and she never had a choice in how it was handled. We just wanted everything to be on our terms. We weren't together when she was a cadet, or even for the first year of her captaincy. And we're both well aware that there are plenty of rumors to the contrary. So, we decided that we were gonna keep it to ourselves until we were comfortable enough to talk to other people about it. Our friends, family and Admiral Marcus were the only people who needed to know."

"Now, Starfleet has a fraternization policy on the books but it's very vague and not regularly enforced," Delara said. "How do you fall around that policy?"

"The way the policy is written, the relationship would have to go against good order and discipline," Chris told her. "Like a cadet and their instructor dating during the course of the class. Or a captain and one of their officers in a relationship and that officer getting preferential treatment. Neither applies to us."

"I don't think I'd be here if anyone actually followed that rule, my parents met in Starfleet," Jim added.

"But your parents didn't work together. Am I correct in saying that you do in your current positions?" it was a fair question.

Jim smiled, "Working together is a bit of a stretch. It's more like he sends me on missions, the ship gets banged up, I almost die and we send him the reports."

"I don't send you anywhere, I simply relay your orders from FleetOps," he chuckled.

"Uh huh," Jim muttered.

Delara smiled, "What is it like, ordering Jim to go on dangerous missions?"

"No harder than sending anyone else. Jim is one of the strongest people I know and her being in command of the flagship is not a fluke. Our job is dangerous but I have firsthand knowledge of her abilities in the field and how amazing her crew is at protecting themselves and each other. I'm not worried," he responded.

"That's a lot of faith in the Enterprise, Chris," Delara said.

He nodded, "Considering that most of them went from being cadets to saving the world in a day, it's well placed."

"Wait 'til I comm the ship and tell the guys how much you love them," Jim smiled.

"Of course you will," Chris smiled. "Worse things have happened, sweetheart."

"There are bound to be people who believe that you've always been a couple, or that this is a PR stunt. Do you have any thoughts on that?" Delara asked.

"It's no different from the rest of my life," Jim sighed. "People think that because they know the end of my father's story that they know me and what it's like to grow up a Kirk but they don't know anything. They don't acknowledge the reality of my father's dead as it applies to being his children and what my brother and I went through."

Chris nodded, "It doesn't help that people also link her to everybody she interacts with. I don't know how many times I've been asked about her and McCoy or Spock."

"We get a kick out of those. Especially since Spock's engaged and Bo... McCoy is seeing someone. We all kinda laugh about it," Jim offered. Chris wasn't gonna spill the beans on McCoy and Gaila. Even he didn't see that coming, Jim might've though.

Delara smiled, "Did they have any thoughts about the two of you being together?"

He nodded, "About time."

Jim sighed, "You see two attractive people who interact with each other and it's easy to assume that they're a couple but people forget that our feelings are the most important part of a relationship. I've always been one of those people who believed that you gotta love yourself before you can love anybody else, and for me, that's especially true. For a long time, I figured that if no one loved me, why should I care. I had to learn to love myself before I could love anyone and until my last year at the academy, I didn't care what happened to me."

Delara nodded, "What happened that changed your thinking?"

Jim smiled, "The twenty-fifth anniversary of my father's death. I was ordered to attend all kinds of ceremonies, I remember people talking about my father and they were comparing me to him like I wasn't even there, making me feel more and more worthless as the day went on. I was one minute from just leaving when Admiral Archer tapped me on the shoulder and said, 'If you want. I could tell them all to fuck off.' I laughed and made some comment about how what I wanted didn't really matter. He looked at me and said that just because other people don't know your worth, doesn't mean you shouldn't know your own worth. Then he kissed me on the cheek and told me that he didn't know my father well but Hoshi would've been proud."

"Retired Lieutenant Commander Hoshi Sato, the communication's officer on the NX-01?" Delara asked to clarify.

"My father was dead, my brother ran away when I was kid, now he's dead too. People don't realize that I never actually lived with my mother, I was shuffled around my whole childhood until I survived a massacre. One of the family members I was shuffled to, Uncle Jim, lived next door to Hoshi on Tarsus Four. Grandma Hoshi, as us kids liked to call her. She looked out for everyone and more often than not, you'd find us at her place in the garden helping her pull weeds while she taught us languages. Even though I'm on the list of survivors, people ignore that fact because it doesn't fit into the idea that I had it easy. One of the most horrific things that ever happened to the Federation, and to me, and people are more concerned about comparing my service record to my father's," Jim said.

Chris knew that this is where the conversation would lead and he knew she didn't like talking about it. She played with his command ring while she talked, fighting back tears. He sighed, "Can we take a minute?" Delara nodded. Chris shifted so the he could pull Jim into his arms. She rested her head against his shoulder.

"I'm fucking this up, huh?" Jim whispered.

He chuckled, "You aren't. You're human, sweetheart, just like the rest of us."

"Not really. I'm Jim Kirk, I don't get to be human and it doesn't matter how hard we try to convince the universe that I am," she muttered.

He pressed a kiss to her hair, "Say the word and we'll get outta here." Taffer looked like he wanted to argue but Marcus stopped him. It finally hit Chris that the commander of the fleet knew everything about Jim's time on Tarsus, including the stuff Chris didn't know about. He was gonna have to ask her about it later.

"I can do this," Jim whispered.

"Yes, you can. And even if you can't, I'm here," Chris smiled.

"I know. I'm good. Let's finish this," she chuckled. Chris gave her a quick kiss and returned to his original spot. Jim sighed, "Sorry about that, Delara."

Their interviewer smiled, "Don't be. I've always found that real answers breed real emotions. So, my next question…"


	17. Seventeen

"Come back to bed, Jim," he muttered.

The woman in question chuckled, "I gotta go if I'm gonna rendezvous with the ship on time. Where the hell is my shirt?"

"No idea, sweetheart," Chris smiled. They weren't exactly paying attention when they got back from seeing Max, Les and Joanna. Jim looked around the room again before she leaned over and picked up the dark blue, white and burgundy plaid shirt off the floor. "If you wait a few minutes, I'll go with you."

Jim smirked as she pulled on her clothes, "No, you're gonna keep your sexy ass in bed and get some more sleep."

"As soon as you tell me what's got you so giddy at four in the morning," he said.

"Well, good sex always makes me happy," she smirked.

He reached up and pulled her back onto the bed, "I know that, but that's different than whatever this is. Try again."

"What if I don't want to tell you?" she chuckled. Chris pressed kisses along her neck. "That's not fair." He shrugged and slid his hands under her shirt. "You're not gonna let it go, are you?" He shook his head and Jim sighed, "Freedom." He didn't understand and it must've shown on his face because she decided to explain. "I'm sure you know what it's like to feel like you don't fit in your own skin. Especially back when you were in that chair. You hated it because you felt like you were trapped in your own body. It's how I felt my whole life. From as far back as I can remember, I felt… off. Inadequate. Wrong. Like a part of me was missing. I don't feel that way anymore. When I leave this apartment today, I'll finally get to be the me that I know and that you know. No hiding, no pretending. I get to be the heroic officer and the cool big sister and the determined survivor and a woman in love. It's a good feeling. Freeing. Makes me happy," she whispered.

"God, I love you," he said the first thing he was thinking.

"I love you too. I have to go," Jim smiled.

Chris groaned, "I hate this."

She gave him a lingering kiss, "Seventeen months left. We got this. Now, go back to bed, love."

* * *

"What do you need, sir?" Chris asked Admiral Marcus as the man stepped into his office. The commander of Starfleet sat in the chair across from Chris' desk.

"Have you talked to Kirk since she left?" the other admiral asked.

Chris shook his head, "No, sir. I've been in meetings all day. What's wrong?"

"I just got off the comm with Commander Spock, her shuttle didn't make it's rendezvous with the Enterprise." Marcus told him.

"That was hours ago," Chris said as he leaned back in his chair. "The log from the shuttlebay?"

"She left at oh-five hundred in the shuttle Nova as scheduled," the older man told him. "We lost Nova's signal at oh-seven-twenty-one. She was supposed to rendezvous at oh-nine-nineteen local time but she wasn't there. The ship did a sweep but they haven't found her. I don't think I've ever seen a worried Vulcan."

Chris let the information sink in, something happened to Jim. There was no question about it, she loved that ship almost as much as she loved him, which was a lot. And Spock would never let someone see him worry, which meant he was really worried. Chris nodded, "Okay."

"Okay? That was not exactly the reaction I was expecting," Marcus said to him.

"Not much I can do from here, sir," Chris sighed. "Whatever happened, I know Spock, McCoy and the rest of her crew are working their asses off to find her. I'll just have to wait it out, even if it pisses me off."

"Or you could go with Commander Tyson. Neil's one of yours if I'm not mistaken," Marcus smiled.

"He was, sir. If I may, I'd like to take another person as well," Chris told his CO.

"Take who you need and I'll sign off on it," Marcus nodded before he walked out of the room.

Chris hit the intercom, "Tyler, I need you to have Cadet Maxwell Rice pulled from class."

* * *

"What is he, sir, twelve?" Ty asked as he glanced at Max.

"Rice is almost seventeen. The same age as the Chief Navigator on the Enterprise when he helped save the world. He's also a fourth year cadet. And, since there's no point in lying to you, he's Kirk's half-brother," Chris told his friend.

"So, we're bringing him along because…?" Ty asked.

"I'm the Academy's top helmsman in the last five years with the exception of Hikaru Sulu, the Enterprise's CHO," Max said, rolling his eyes as he did. "Now, all due respect, sir, but my sister, the commanding officer of the flagship, is missing. We can stand here, twiddle our thumbs and bitch about my age or we can find her, as per our orders."

"Well, Ty, that answer your question?" Chris asked. He held back his amusement in Max's demeanor, the kid was like a Jim/Sulu hybrid and it was funny as hell just how scary the teenager was.

Ty looked at Max with wide eyes, "You remind me of your sister. The whole twenty minutes I got to spend with her, anyway. Let's go find her."

* * *

The Enterprise sent everything from their scans and Chris did the same. The large ship and the small shuttle were working on the assumption that another vessel was involved. After hours of searching, the Enterprise found a warp signature near Jim's course that didn't belong to her shuttle.

Max docked their shuttle on the Enterprise and the three officers headed to the bridge. Spock was sitting in the command chair but they could all tell that he didn't want to be. The Vulcan stood, "Admiral, Lieutenant Uhura was able to contact Commander Kor. You are familiar with a Klingon named Kaaj, are you not?"

"Son of a bi… I should've let Jim kill him when she offered," Chris said.

Max looked at him, "What's his problem with Ji… the Captain, sir?"

"Nothing. She's bait. Kaaj's problem is with me," Chris told him. The officers looked at him.

Sulu turned in his seat, "Why's he after you, sir?"

Chris ran a hand through his hair, "We were in the Marrat Nebula…"

_"Emergency evasive maneuver sigma-delta-one, Lieutenant McGraw." The helmsman nodded at Chris' order and moved the Yorktown finish off the remaining hostile ships attacking Starbase Thirteen. When the fighting died down, Chris beamed over with an away team to access the state of the starbase._

_The team was greeted by Commodore Hal Wyeth, the starbase's CO. The commodore filled Chris on the situation, the station was originally built to help police the dangerous region of space and had come under siege in response by local pirates to another Starfleet plan to bring order to the region in Project Pharos, the building of a huge 'lighthouse' on a nearby planet. What's more, while they were drilling the foundations for the lighthouse, the engineering teams found vast amounts of extremely pure dilithium, and the commodore feared that the information had been leaked when, two hours earlier, contact was lost with the engineering teams on the planet._

_Chris decided that checking on the planet would be their best bet at figuring out who was behind the attack. As the Yorktown made their way to Pharos, they received a warning to 'expect the unexpected.' In response, Chris had McGraw do a sensor sweep to locate the said unexpected. Meanwhile, the ship's science officer finished his analysis of the earlier attack. The fleet consisted of an unusual combination of Orion, Arcturan, Khodini and rogue Human vessels. With evidence of a deadly criminal alliance, Chris called for a yellow alert as they got to Pharos._

_That's when it all went to shit. His first officer took a landing party to the surface to investigate the lighthouse and she quickly found evidence of recent disruptor fire before being ambushed by Klingons. In orbit, the Yorktown was also engaging the Klingons. They were different from any other Klingons that Chris had ever encountered and they seemed to know the Yorktown's weaknesses._

_"We're losing main engineering, sir," one of the officers told him. Chris nodded and ordered them to do what they could. That's when the other ship hailed them._

_"This is Captain Christopher Pike of the USS Yorktown. Stand down or your attack will be seen as an act of war by the Empire._ "

_"I am Kaaj, I bow to no one, including the Empire. You can threaten all you want but you have nothing to offer, Captain. Except, of course, your surrender," the altered Klingon on the viewscreen told him._

_Chris snorted, "It's not gonna happen, Kaaj. I'll destroy this ship myself before I let you take it."_

_"Then you are weak and foolish," the Klingon growled._

_"I'm not the one who attacked the Federation," Chris pointed out. "If you think this will end with us, you're the fool. Now, stand down." Chris realized that this was gonna go back and forth until one of them made a move. It was the worst kind of stalemate and he needed a solution fast. When Number One beamed back with the surviving engineers, an idea struck him. Chris gave his order to arm the phasers._

_"You really are foolish, human. You're only making this worse for yourself and easier for me," Kaaj told him._

_"Not exactly," Chris smiled. "Fire." His officers opened fire on the planet. Pharos ignited into a beautiful ball of flames. The science officers estimated that it would burn for decades. Considering that it wasn't inhabited, that was a win._

_The Yorktown picked up a group of Federation vessels moving into the area on their sensors. Apparently, the Klingons did too because they left, but not before Kaaj warned Chris that he owes the Klingon a blood debt for his humiliation._

"He's tried to kill me a few times since then but he never actually succeeded and it pisses him off. Going after Jim is just… Crazy. Even if he thinks I'm too stupid to know a trap when I see one, she's Jim fuckin' Kirk. She's dangerous enough by herself but she has friends in the Empire. There's a good chance that the Klingons will get to him before we do," Chris told the others.

* * *

Chris was half right, Kor found Kaaj but he relayed the information to the Enterprise so the two ships could get to Kaaj together. The Enterprise arrived near the inhabited planet of Ajilon Prime, on the Federation/Klingon border. According to Kor's intel from inside Klingon space, this was where Kaaj was hiding. A team from the Enterprise made up of Chris, Ty, Max, Sulu, McCoy, Uhura and Hendorff beamed to the surface to meet Jim's Klingon friend.

"Pike," Kor said to him.

"Kor," the admiral nodded.

The large Klingon looked at his officers and nodded towards Max, "Kirk's brother."

The young man nodded, "I am."

"You are still young, but I see much of her in you," Kor said, letting out a laugh.

"That honors me more than her," Max said with a smile. "What'd you find?" Kor relayed the information about Kaaj setting up camp in an abandoned town on the outskirts of what used to be the colony while his ship was being repaired. Given Jim's knowledge of ships, Chris could almost guarantee that she caused the damage.

"Our men found this when they scouted the dock where the ship is under repair. It matches Jim's DNA scan from our ship," Rynar, Kor's son, said as he handed Chris a small object.

The admiral looked at the little gold ring and chuckled, "It was my mother's. Jim hasn't taken this off since I gave it to her. She left this for us, she knew we'd come after her. Let's go see if she left us anything alive at Kaaj's camp."

Kor's men lead the way to Kaaj's camp and, just like Chris predicted, the place was a mess when they got there. Bodies and blood everywhere. McCoy said as he scanned one of the dead Klingons, "His neck broken. If I had to guess, I'd say this was Jim's handy work."

Rynar agreed, "Kirk is unusually strong for such a small Human." They could all agree that not only was Jim alive, there was a good chance that she didn't even need rescued. Of course, as soon as that thought crossed his mind, Ty let off a shot from his sniper perch.

"One down. It looks like they're after something on the eastern end of the camp," Ty told them over comms.

"Bet you any number of credits it's my sister," Max said with a smirk.

"I don't think any of us are dumb enough to take that bet, Max," Sulu chuckled. Kid had a point. Kaaj's men didn't even seem to notice that the large group of armed Starfleet and Klingon officers were even there.

Chris looked at the group, "Suggestions?"

"We split into three teams and flank them from all sides. They've got their hands full with Jim, they won't even see us coming," Uhura offered.

Chris smiled, "Somebody's been spending too much time with her captain."

She shrugged, "Maybe a little, sir."

Chris took Max, Rynar and a few other Klingons. Uhura and Sulu went with Kor. McCoy and Hendorff went with the last of the Klingons. The three teams and Ty started to take out Kaaj's men. It took the group too long to realize what was happening. Most of them were dead by the time the last few figured it out, of course, it was too late.

That's when it all went to shit. One of Klingons next to him turned his weapon on Chris, Rynar and Max. The other two Klingons took their weapons. "You won't get away with this," Chris told them. He didn't get an answer. They were led to the middle of the camp where Uhura, McCoy, Hendorff, Sulu, Kor and another of his men were being held.

"Traitor," Kor hissed.

The leader glared at him, "You would help these humans and you dare call me a traitor."

"I'm not helping them," Kor glared. "I'm helping Kirk. She is part of my family. And you will die with no honor."

The Klingon took a step closer to Kor, "You have no honor, prisoner." Chris knew that part of Klingons honor was about not becoming or taking prisoners.

"You are such a fool. I am not your prisoner. You are hers," Kor growled.

If Chris blinked, he would've missed the combat knife that went flying through the air at their captor's head. Four disruptor shots took down three more men. The last three charged at Jim but she rolled out of the way, shooting one, stabbing one in the neck with his d'k tahg and evading the last one's bat'leth.

Somehow, no one took Sulu's sword from him or tied Uhura up like the rest of them. The communications officer managed to get the retractable weapon off the helmsman's hip and tossed it at her captain, "Kirk!" Jim caught the sword and activated its blade just in time to defend herself while Uhura tried to get the rest of them free with the bloody knife that Jim used to kill their captor.

They all looked up when the big Klingon tossed Jim over his head and stalked towards her. She landed in a heap on the ground and looked hurt. At least, she looked hurt to anyone but him and her officers. Chris has seen Jim play dead in a fight before and he saw her strike coming before it happened. The Klingon said something to Jim in his native language, then Sulu's sword was sticking through his chest and out his back.

"I speak Klingon, idiot," she said as she kicked the alien to the ground and pulled Sulu's sword out of his chest. Chris looked her over and, aside from a slight limp, she didn't look like she was badly injured.

"Kaaj?" he asked his girl.

Jim chuckled, "I told you I was gonna kill him. His body is in the building behind you. Hi."

"Hi, sweetheart. How was your trip?" Chris asked with a smile.

"Oh, you know, the food was okay and the in-flight movie sucked, but I got to stretch my legs," Jim said before wrapping her arms around his waist. Chris let out the breath he'd been holding for the last two days. She was in his arms and she was okay.

"What are we, chopped liver?" Max asked. Chris let Jim go so she could hug her brother.

"Shouldn't you be in San Fran?" she asked.

The kid shrugged, "I'm on orders from an admiral, ma'am."

Jim looked at Chris, "Really?"

"Marcus signed off on it. I needed someone I could trust. And he's good. Takes after his sister," Chris smiled.

"This is cute and all, but can we get out of here, sir?" Ty asked over his comm… from somewhere.

Chris chuckled, "Yeah, Ty."

"Ty's here too?" Jim asked. "You called in the big guns for me, Chris? I feel so special." M

cCoy rolled his eyes, "Not exactly the word I'd use, kid."

She nudged her best friend as he checked her leg, "You missed me, Bones. It's okay, you don't have to admit it. I missed you too."

* * *

"Missing something, sweetheart?" Chris asked as he held up her ring.

"I figured it'd make its way to you," Jim smiled.

"Kor and Rynar's guys found it when they searched the dock for you," he told her.

Jim slid the ring back on her hand, "That's better. So, anymore enemies I should know about?"

"None that are still alive or worth worrying about. Wanna tell me what happened?" Chris finally asked her after McCoy checked her over, she took a long shower and had something to eat.

"Nothing to tell, really," she chuckled. "I left the main shuttlebay at HQ and took the course that I was supposed to. I was halfway to the rendezvous when this Klingon ship dropped out of warp in front of me. I made an attempt to go around when he hailed me. Kaaj knew who I was, where I came from and where I was going. Next thing I know, I'm caught in a tractor beam. They bring the shuttle onto the ship and pull me out at disruptor point. Kaaj ordered that no one harm me in any way until he got you. They didn't even secure me that well. I fucked the computer system all to hell and killed the safeties to their warp core. They docked the ship. And when they were moving me to the camp, I attacked."

"Sometimes, you scare me," Chris muttered.

"A little fear never hurt anyone, love," Jim smiled.

"True, but I almost lost you," he sighed. "Maybe going public was a bad idea." It was his own damn fault and he knew it. Kaaj had no reason to go after her except him.

Jim straddled Chris' legs and forced him to look at her, "The interview's not even out yet. This wasn't actually about you. Kor's house has a lot of power, I'm as much his protégé as I am yours. Kyral, the Klingon who was holding you hostage, didn't work for Kaaj, they were working together. Taking me was killing two birds with one stone. Kaaj could take out his blood debt against you and Kyral could take out Kor and Rynar. Kyral's family would be in a better place on Qo'noS and Kaaj got paid... a lot. It was a power play that we got caught in the middle of."

"Doesn't make me feel better, Jim," he muttered.

"I know. Especially since you have to go home. You know I'm perfectly safe on the ship. I'll even skip a few away missions if it'll make you feel better," she smiled.

"Don't do that. You like exploring. I guess we just got complacent. I never figured Kaaj would even attempt to be this far into Federation space," he said.

"He thought your cute little girlfriend was an easy target. Only thing coming after me did was piss me off and get him killed."

Chris sighed, "It doesn't bother you, killing someone?"

She sighed, "Every time. But the alternative is death and I've come too far to die as some pawn. Hopefully, when my time comes, it'll a long time from now."


	18. Eighteen

"So, she kissed me. I pushed her away but someone managed to snap a holo," Chris told Jim over comm.

"That so?" Jim snickered.

He raised an eyebrow, "You really think this is funny?"

"Of course it is," she smiled. "You're very kissable, Chris. I don't like that someone managed to take a holo of you without your knowledge or consent. Other than that, I don't really have a reason to be upset, I don't own you."

"Would you like to?" he asked her.

Jim tilted her head in the way that Spock sometimes does, "Uhh…"

"You speechless. That is a first."

"Slavery's illegal in the Fed," she told him with a smile.

"You know what I'm talking about, sweetheart," he said.

Jim sighed, "Oh, come on. I'm not that girl. We've established that. Marriage isn't something I really ever thought about."

"Maybe you should think about it, Jim," Chris told her.

She looked at him for a long minute, "You don't want to marry me, Chris. Trust me."

He sighed, "Give me one good reason why I don't."

Jim gave him a sad smile, "You don't. I gotta get some sleep. Love you. Kirk out."

* * *

"What happened on Tarsus Four?" Chris asked his commanding officer.

Marcus looked up at him, "You know what happened, Pike."

"No, sir," Chris shook his head. "I know what the reports and files say. I also know that not everything goes on record. There are more holes in those reports than Swiss cheese. So, please, tell me what happened, sir." The older admiral offered him a seat before asking his yeoman to cancel his next meeting.

"How much do you know?" Marcus asked him.

"Not a lot, just the official reports, the notes in Jim's file and the after action report from the Enterprise after Kodos' death. What am I missing?"

"Everything," Marcus scoffed. "Tarsus was a Federation colony. Kodos was even one of ours." Chris didn't know that, he wasn't sure that Jim did either.

"What happened, sir?" he asked his CO.

"To call it a clusterfuck is a massive understatement," the older man sighed. "For starters, the famine was on purpose. Kodos figured that the best way to control the people was to take their food. By the time my Enterprise got there, there wasn't much of anything or anyone left. I was a new-ish captain back then. The thing I remember most was the smell of death. It was overpowering. Some of my officers wore re-breathers, it was that bad. Our mission was to follow the scans to an encampment on the outskirts of the main colony while the other ships helped the people in the main colony. We picked up life signs and headed in that direction. It happened so fast… one second I'm walking with my officers and next, I'm disarmed, pinned to the ground, there's a combat knife at my throat and my phaser is under my ribs. My officers were surrounded by a group of armed teens. 'You have ten seconds to convince me not to kill you.' Came the icy voice of the very thin, cold, bloody, vicious teenager that had me pinned. You could tell this kid had been fighting the whole time, maybe even longer."

Chris didn't say anything and let his CO continue. "So, like an idiot, I ramble on and on about being a Starfleet officer when one of my men yells 'What are our orders, Captain Marcus?' The girl's eyes locked with mine and she rattled off my service record like it was written on my face. I mean, I'd never seen anything like it. She remembered details about me that I barely remembered. As soon as she got to my tour on the Enterprise, she let me up. 'You knew my father,' she said. I looked in her eyes again and I could see him. Everything about the way she carried herself screamed Lieutenant Commander George Samuel Kirk."

"Jim," Chris whispered. She never told him –or anyone, really- the particulars of her time on Tarsus Four. Everything he's ever heard, from her or her file, was always vague.

Marcus nodded, "Yeah. Because she knew who I was, she decided I was worth trusting. Kirk let out a series of whistles and all of a sudden, kids start jumping out of trees and enclaves with weapons. Some they stole from Kodos' men and others they made. The bow and arrows she made outta pieces of one of the buildings were ingenuity at its finest."

Chris was beginning to understand that there was a part of Jim that he didn't really know. Marcus sighed, "When we got them to the ship and cleaned up, Kirk kept watch over them. Unlike the others, she and her friend Leighton would guard the kids and take turns sleeping. They both put a few of my officers in medical with broken, bruised or dislocated limbs before I had to order everyone to talk to them before approaching the younger kids. Turned out that Jim had saved a few of them from being raped or murdered on Tarsus. She killed a lot of people to keep them safe. Any semblance of childhood she might've had, died on that hellhole. You can see it sometimes, lurking behind her eyes. Your mission on Sordinia Four. Nero. Harrison. Kaaj. We never trained her to fight like that. If it wasn't for the fact that she's high profile, S.I. and maybe 31 would've tried to recruit her years ago."

The younger admiral nodded his understanding. For as good and wonderful as she is, Jim was also capable of raining death and destruction on anything she saw as a threat to those she cared about and those who can't defend themselves. Chris realized that she was trying to protect him… from herself. If he thought about their relationship hard enough, he knew she kept a piece of herself buried. She warned him, a few times, and he finally understood why.

The commander of the fleet sighed, "When you got her to join up… I always wondered what happened to her after we got her back to earth, she disappeared on us. We failed that kid. Everyone did. For a while I thought she'd spend the rest of her life playing out that nightmare in her head. I know she doesn't sleep as much as any of us likes… she did that as a kid. First time I had some hope that she'd be okay was when I saw her with you. It was after one of your hand to hand classes and two of you were joking with each other. I don't know what you said but that was the first time I ever saw her smile. I knew she'd be alright as long as you had her six."

That explained why Marcus was okay with their relationship. The man saw Jim at the worst time of her life and he knew what it took for her to open up to someone. It also explained how Jim got the crew she asked for, Marcus made sure she was surrounded by people she could trust and respect. Chris ran his hand through his hair, "Thank you for telling me, sir."

Marcus chuckled, "Telling you what?" In other words, 'we didn't have this conversation.'

Chris nodded, "Understood, sir."

* * *

"Hey. I'm sorry I was being a bitch the other day," Jim said.

"I've seen much worse… from you, in fact," he chuckled.

"You haven't seen my worst," she told him.

"So I've been told," Chris sighed. "I _didn't_ have a talk with a certain former Enterprise officer."

Jim looked at him and realization dawned on her face, "See. I almost killed the commander of Starfleet. You ready to let me down gently?"

"He was just a captain back then and I'm not going anywhere. You don't want to get married, it's not the end of the world. And yes, I do know what you're trying to do but I already told you, I'm yours until you look me in the face and tell me I'm not. Stop trying to protect me, I can look after myself. We all have our demons, Jim. You used yours to help people. There's nothing wrong with that."

"I'm a monster," she whispered.

Chris sighed, "No, you're not. You're… you were a kid who got pulled into a catastrophe that had nothing to do with you and you fought. For yourself, for those kids, you fought. You're a hero, Jim. You were one back then and you're one now. Nothing that anyone says can change that. You know that quote about evil triumphing because good men did nothing? You're the good man who didn't let evil win."

"You think very highly of me," Jim muttered, her eyes welling up with tears that she wouldn't let fall.

He smiled, "My girlfriend is a real-life superhero. How many people get to say that?" She looked at him for a few seconds before she burst into that musical laugh of hers.

"You're such a nerd," Jim finally managed.

Chris shrugged, "You wouldn't have me any other way and you know it."

"You're right. I wouldn't. Now, Admiral, go to bed," she told him.

Of course, that's when he yawned, "Yes, ma'am. I love you."

Jim smiled, "I love you too. Bed."

He nodded, "Pike out."

* * *

"Kirk," Jim said as she answered the comm.

"Hi," Chris smiled.

She raised an eyebrow, "It's a bit early for you to be up… You're on a ship… Where are you?"

"On the USS Tereshkova. Audrid Dax asked for my help studying a rogue comet in the Trill system," he smiled.

"We were asked to help with that study," Jim smiled and did a tiny bounce in her seat.

Chris smirked, "Were you?"

"We were and you know it," she said.

"Of course I knew that. I'm the one that assigned it to you, Dax needs Spock and Sulu's astrophysics expertise on this too. The team from your ship and the team from this ship are gonna figure out what's up with this thing," he told her.

Jim smiled, "You finally get to do something other than paperwork and hanging out with politicians."

"You have no idea how good it feels to have someone want my brain," Chris said without thinking.

"I happen to love your brain. Luckily, I know what you meant. Does this mean I'll get to see you in about… nine hours?" she asked.

He nodded, "Yes, Captain, it does."

* * *

"What is this?" Jim asked as she examined one of the samples. She wasn't actually part of the study but he didn't mind her hanging around one bit.

Chris looked at her, "It's a fragment of the comet from fifty feet in."

"I know that," she chuckled. "What is this thing in the sample? It's not part of the comet and it's moving." Chris, Spock, Sulu, Dax and Commander Vas moved closer to Jim. She magnified what she was looking at on the screen above her head. "Is that a bug of some sort?" his girlfriend asked him.

"I think you may be onto something, Captain," Dax told her. Chris leaned over her shoulder and started some additional tests on the sample. Dax did the same thing from next to them.

Vas looked at Jim, "I wasn't aware that you were adept in science, Captain Kirk."

"I'm not, I'm just observant," Jim shrugged. That was an understatement on both counts. Jim could hold her own with the scientists and she was so far beyond observant that it was scary.

"It's trying to get out," Sulu said. Chris watched the screen, sure enough, the tiny life from was taking leaps and hitting the containment vessel it was in.

"We should scan the other samples," Chris told the group. They had taken samples from all over the comet. Dax moved to one sample while the other scientists did the same. "Nice catch, Jim," he whispered.

His girl smiled, "You're welcome."

* * *

"What happened?" Dax asked as she walked into sickbay. McCoy had comm'ed the lab and told them that Jayvin Vod, Dax's husband was critically injured.

McCoy looked at the Trill woman, "I don't know."

Hendorff grunted as he pushed himself up from the deck, "Some parasite."

"The brute is correct," Vod started talking but it wasn't really his voice. Jim glared at the being that just insulted her officer.

Dax stepped closer, "What do you want with my husband?" The Vod-parasite revealed to Dax, Chris and all the officers in medical that his species hate of all humanoid life, the Trill in particular. "I am the taker of gist."

Jim, who was standing behind McCoy looked at the Vod-parasite, "What happened to our officers?"

"My people killed them, just like we will do to the rest of you," Vod-parasite told her. Chris could tell that the Trill part of this thing was dying a horrible death. He looked at Dax. She must have noticed the same thing because she sent McCoy a look. The doctor tapped Jim's arm and the two of them sprung. Jim got her arms around it while McCoy stabbing a hypo in Vod-parasite's neck.

The being convulsed and the parasite fell out of Vod's mouth. One of the nurses and Hendorff trapped it under a container while Jim and McCoy picked Vod up off the floor. Chapel moved in to help them. "A bluegill," Dax whispered as she stepped around it. Chris looked at the creature, it reminded him of the Trill symbionts, just smaller. It was also bigger than the ones in the lab, they were babies compared to this one.

"Spock, secure that… thing. Chris, you think these things are headed to Trill?" Jim asked from next to him.

Chris looked at her, "That would make sense. They obviously don't like the Trill. This could be an attack. Destroy part of the planet with the comet and take over the rest like they did to Vod. Come on." The pair of command officers ran to the bridge.

"Captain on the bridge," Chekov called.

Jim walked straight to the young officer, "I need a trajectory on that comet." The Russian nodded and input some calculations into the console.

Chekov looked up at Jim, "The comet will make impact with the capital city of Trill in twenty-one point seven hours, Keptin."

"Uhura, warn the Tereshkova and get us the Trill government," Chris ordered.

The communications officer nodded, "Yes, sir."

* * *

"So, they're just gonna cover it up?" Jim asked him.

"They destroyed the comet, both the host and symbiont of Jayvin Vod are dead and we were ordered by the brass to hand over all the samples to Dax." He didn't like it any more than she did but those were the orders.

"Can you at least tell me what those damn things were? I mean, they killed my officers," she said.

He nodded and gave her the explanation that Dax gave him. The Parasites were created on an ancient Trill colony on the planet Kurl. The Kurlans were a group of joined Trill who set about making a society of only joined persons on their world; unfortunately, something on the planet went wrong and a virus infected much of the population.

As the virus most acutely affected the symbionts, the scientists from the colony went about genetically modifying the creatures to make them more resistant. During the process, the scientists learned that a joining would be more effective if it occurred at the brain stem, so they modified the symbionts with pincers necessary to burrow into the neck.

The experiments were unsuccessful and the virus adapted. After ten years of experimentation, the result was a race of mutated symbionts that had gone mad from the experience and started taking complete control of their hosts. The Trill resorted to genocide, killing four million of the mutated parasites by remote orbital bombardment of the planet. Then they retreated to Trill, ending the first Trill space age and becoming isolated from the galaxy for centuries.

"But some parasites survived and they remember what the Trill did to them which was the source of their resentment," Jim said.

"Yep," Chris sighed.

"And I thought my life was fucked up," she muttered.

He chuckled, "No kidding. Speaking of your life…"

"You don't want to go there," Jim cut him off.

"No, not really," Chris smiled. "But if you ever want to, you can talk to me about it. Marcus filled me in as best he could."

She sighed, "I don't talk about it for a reason."

"You want to protect me and McCoy and…"

She shook her head, "Myself. I can't go back to that place, Chris. Who I was back then. She's vicious… heartless even. I killed a lot of people with no remorse. I went full soldier out there, objectives and solutions. And I don't talk about it because I don't want to get lost in that place. The Jim you know is a very different creature than that Jim."

"That Jim is a part of you. You can ignore her, pretend she's not there because at the end of the day, she still is. I've seen her just under the surface and you know it," he told her.

Jim took a deep breath before she nodded, "Not today. I don't want to talk about her today. When I'm ready, I'll let you know."

Chris smiled, "I can live with that."


	19. Nineteen

"Fancy meeting you here, sir," the cadet next to him said as they stood in line in a café near HQ.

"Wait until Jim sees you," Chris had to do a double take. "When the hell did you get so tall?" He hadn't seen Jim's brother in months thanks to the kid's busy schedule.

"Training cruise," Max shrugged. "Jim says they force everyone to grow up, I guess she was right."

"Well, she usually is. Graduation's next week, you ready?" Chris asked Jim's brother.

The tall teen smiled, "Yes, sir. I'm ready to get out into the black for real. I just got word that I'll be on the USS Carver."

"Small cruiser, nice," the admiral smiled. "You know where the ship's headed?"

Max shook his head, "Not yet. And don't tell me. I wanna find out when everyone else does." Chris could respect that the kid didn't want any special treatment.

Other than a handful of people, Max's connection to Jim was not public knowledge. She's not listed in his file, even though Max is listed as her next of kin, because she doesn't want him to spend his career fighting just to be treated equally. They both put in their orders at the counter before Chris smiled, "That's very Jim of you. She didn't really get a choice in the matter since her identity was made public when she was a baby."

"Oh, I know. She gave me her file and… I wasn't supposed to tell you that," Max muttered.

"Secret's safe with me, just keep it locked down. There are a lot of people would love to get their hands on it. Enemies, reporters, you know the deal," Chris told the kid.

"Yes, sir," Max said. "Anyway, she won't tell me about Tarsus yet but she said she hasn't talked about it much with you either and you've known her for almost nine years."

Chris sighed, "I know a bit more now but Jim's not ready to talk about everything. First time I asked her what it was like she told me it was hell. She'll tell us when she's ready." They were both called to the counter at the same time and grabbed their drinks before heading out into the fresh San Francisco air.

"Will you be at graduation?" Max asked him. Chris hadn't actually considered going and he told the young cadet/officer as much. Max smiled, "You spent four years keeping tabs on me, you might as well show up."

"How'd you… Jim?" Chris looked at him.

"She didn't outright say it but she knew stuff before I told her. I can't think of anyone, other than you, who could give her updates about me. You know, if you don't say yes, I'll just tell my sister and you can't say no to her."

The older man chuckled, "Oh, God. What is the fleet gonna do with two of you?"

"It's gonna be awesome," Max said with a big smile. "Will you please come to my graduation, Chris?"

How the hell was he supposed to say no to that? Chris sighed, "Unless I get pulled for something important, I'll be there."

* * *

Chris tried to lay low at this year's Academy graduation but the reporters spotting him and descended. The Enterprise was less than six months from their return and everyone was clamoring for access to any info they could get. He gave the fleet approved statement about being happy they're returning and excited to hear first-hand accounts of their missions but the press wanted more. Specifically, they wanted information on Jim, which he outright refused to give. 'You'll have to ask Captain Kirk' was still his go-to statement when questioned about her.

It was a good thing Winona was off planet because he knew they'd be all over her too. And it would also be near impossible to keep them away from Max once people put the pieces together. Somehow, Chris managed to get away from the gaggle of reporters to congratulate Max and a bunch of the other graduates that he's met at one time or another.

"Good to see you, sir," Leslie said when Chris finally got to Max's father.

The admiral smiled, "Commander. I hear congratulations are in order."

"Yes, sir. I'm getting another stripe," Rice smiled. "I'm keeping it under wraps until the Enterprise gets back, I want Jim to be there."

Chris smiled, "She's gonna be thrilled for you. How's Winona?"

"We're still a work in progress. It's hard to rebuild trust on opposite sides of the sector. She should back a few weeks after Jim. It might just be me and you at the shuttle bay when the Enterprise comes in," Rice answered.

"Actually, my dad and McCoy's daughter will be there. Max's ship doesn't leave until after she gets back, so he can be there too. And Marcus might show up, he's got a soft spot for Jim," Chris smiled. 

"Aside from the Romulans, who doesn't have a soft spot for that girl?" Leslie asked. Chris chuckled, Jim's step-dad had a very good point.

* * *

"So, has the official countdown to the Enterprise's return started?" Jim asked from somewhere behind him.

He turned around and smiled, "Four months, one week, two days and some change. What are you doing here?"

"I was invited by the Klingons," she chuckled. "Then ordered by the brass. So here I am. This is crazy, right? I mean, peace between the Federation and the Empire. I never thought I'd live to see the day."

"According to my older self, a treaty such as this was reached in his timeline as well and his Jim saved the President of the Federation's life," Spock said from next to her.

Jim rolled her eyes, "Whatever happened to that whole 'your paths are your own to follow' thing that the other you was preaching?"

"I do not know. I will ask him the next time we speak," her first officer told her.

"Only thing worse than one Spock is two," McCoy sighed.

Chris chuckled, "No kidding."

"So, what about you, couldn't find a way out of this thing?" Jim asked with a smile.

"I had a feeling you'd be here, so I'm sucking it up," he told her. She gave him one of those smiles that she saves for him but didn't say anything as the four officers attempted to find their seats.

"Kirk!" Kor's booming voice caused everyone in the room to look at him as he made his way through the crowd. Some of the security officers moved their hands to the weapons, idiots.

"Kor," Jim smiled as the large Klingon warrior wrapped her in a big hug.

"You look well my friend. Fight any good battles lately?" Kor asked her.

She nodded, "A few, I'll you about 'em when we have some time. Hey, Rynar."

Kor's son smiled at her, "Jim. Friends." Chris nodded at the large men.

"Come, your seats are in the front with us," Kor told them. That made sense.

Since Harrison destroyed Praxis, the Klingons have experienced severe ecological disasters on Qo'noS and an almost complete shutdown of the Klingon economy. The Enterprise has been doing a lot of relief missions to help the people out. Jim had to fight with the brass to get it approved and, in the end, it was actually Chancellor Durak asking for her help that shut the admiralty up.

That led to the peace talks between the Federation and the Empire. The peace conference was originally scheduled to be held on Earth but was at the last minute, the location was switched. Considering that Camp Khitomer, on the Klingon world of Khitomer, was ready at such short notice, Chris figured that this was where they always planned on having the conference.

"How long have they been planning to have this thing here?" Chris asked Jim as they sat down.

She winked, "Don't know what you mean." Which means she'll tell him later.

He looked around as the room began to settle. Federation President Kenneth Wescott and Klingon Chancellor Durak entered the conference and stood together at the podium.

* * *

"Should we be here?" he asked.

Jim nodded, "I asked the chancellor. It's not like we can touch it. The case is pressure sensitive and behind a whole bunch of security measures. This room will flood with armed officers from both sides if we try to touch it. We worked our asses off for this, I just want to see what all our blood, sweat and tears got us." They stood about a foot away from the case and looked at the five copies of this document.

Chris smiled, "This is amazing."

**The Accords of Peace and Mutual Cooperation**   
_between_   
**The Klingon Empire and**   
**The United Federation of Planets**

_The Council of the United Federation of Planets and the High Council of the Klingon Empire, desirous of strengthening the cause of peace between them, have reached the following agreement:_

**Article I:** Both Parties obligate themselves to desist from any act of violence, any aggressive action, and any attack on the each other, either individually or jointly with other powers.

**Article II:** The Governments of the two Parties shall institute full diplomatic relations with each other. A parcel of land shall be delivered on each of the worlds, which will serve as center for government for each Party so that the other Party may establish an Embassy.

**Article III:** Should one of the Parties become the object of belligerent action by a third power, the other Party shall in no manner lend its support to this third power, and will lend whatever aid and assistance to the other party it deems appropriate by the rules of its internal government.

**Article IV:** Both Parties agree to provide humanitarian aid to each other.

**Article V:** Both Parties agree that any former grievances they had with the other are now forgotten. If any individual under the rule of one Party commits an act of revenge or retribution on the other Party, that individual will be extradited to stand trial under the laws of the aggrieved Party.

**Article VI:** Both Parties agree to the specifics of the following sections delineating conflict resolution, territorial definitions, trade laws, and all other provisions in this document.

_Done in the English, Vulcan, Klingon, Andorian, Tellarite languages_ ,

Signed

_Kenneth Wescott_  
President  
United Federation of Planets

_Durak_  
Chancellor  
Klingon High Council

* * *

"Shouldn't you be in bed, Chris?" Jim asked over comm.

"I already tried, I'm too keyed up," he chuckled. "What's the Enterprise up to this fine day in the United Federation of Planets?"

"We are delivering the _ever so delightful_ Dohlman Elaan of Elas to her wedding on Troyius," she sighed.

"That bad?" Chris asked.

"She's a spoiled brat. Uncivilized, rude, bitchy. She threw a fit about her quarters… which are actually Ny's quarters. She's disrespectful to me and Spock. I'm in my ready room doing paperwork so I don't smack the shit out of her. It doesn't help that her guards are packing enough fire power to fight a war, the Troyian ambassador is a fussy pushover and the brass made me their fucking baby sitter. Two months. Just two more months,"  Jim told him. He could see her fighting not to pull her hair out.

"Two months, then what?" he asked.

Jim smiled, "We're gonna take leave and go hide out at the cabin."

"Hmm, just you and me and a whole cabin to ourselves," Chris smiled. Whatever will we do?"

She chuckled, "Oh, I'm sure we'll think of something. Just gotta get through this first."

"You know, they probably want you to help her out. I say this with love but you aren't the most refined person in the universe, however, you know when to be tactful and when you want to you turn up the elegance. It sounds like that's what she needs, plus some compassion and some manners," he said.

Jim sighed, "I'm good but not that good."

"Except you are. Elas and Troyius are headed to mutual destruction and this marriage sounds like it'll unite the two worlds before war breaks out," Chris told her.

"God, you sound like Spock," she muttered.

The admiral smiled, "I'll that that as a compliment. Seriously, this woman is going to be the person who pulls these two groups together and you have the power to help her. She's a scared girl thrust into the middle of something beyond her control, if anyone understands that, it's you."

Jim gave him a small smile, "Sometimes I wonder if the person you see is the same as the one I see in the mirror."

"Probably not. I'm not as hard on you as you are on yourself. We both know you have chinks in your armor, I'm just not focused on them as much as you are," he said with a yawn.

"Bedtime," she chuckled. 

"I guess," he sighed. "Think about what I said, okay. She might just need someone to help her, not coddle her."

She nodded, "I will."

"I love you," Chris told her.

Jim smiled, "I love you too. Sleep tight."

* * *

"You excited to get that belle femme of yours planet-side for a while?" Cliff asked him. Chris was having a drink with his friend as the club.

"Of course I am. I'll bring her by for a visit… after her leave is over," Chris said.

LaRoche chuckled, "Ahh, gotta get properly reacquainted. I remember what that was like. Sometimes I think I should go on a trip just so I can have welcome home sex."

"I love Dora to death, I did not need to hear that," the admiral groaned.

Cliff chuckled, "Okay, okay. You got any other plans for Jim when she gets back or is keeping her in your apartment for a week as far as it goes?"

"The cabin. And it was her idea. Beyond that, we don't have plans. Why?" Chris asked.

"I'm gonna throw a party for Jim and her friends. I mean, other than the dignitaries, I bet they haven't had a party in five years," the former officer said.

Chris nodded, "I'm pretty sure she hasn't. The crew have had a few but Jim isn't a big party person. You'll have to convince her to show up."

"I'll just have Dora ask her," Cliff chuckled. Chris had to give it to his friend, Jim likes Cliff but she loves Dora. The two women have been in contact the whole time Jim's been gone. All Dora has to do is ask and Jim will do it.

"I guess I have to come to this thing?" he asked.

Cliff nodded, "Course you do. I wouldn't let a femme like that outta my sight. I still don't know how you're okay with her being out there."

"It's where she belongs. She was born in space and for space. You should see her when she's working, it's just so… right. I wish I was still out there but I'll take what I can get," Chris smiled. 

"Maybe they'll find some excuse to send you next time. You could always retire, marry her, take a civilian job and tag along." Chris opened his mouth to argue but, aside from the fact that Jim doesn't want to get married, it was actually a good idea.

"I'll have to talk to Jim first, see what she thinks. It is her ship," Chris finally replied.

* * *

An advantage of being an admiral, he knew ways around a lot of stuff. For example, he knew that a ship was usually back at Starbase One a little while before the crew ever makes it to the ground and the senior staff is almost always off the ship last. With Marcus' blessing, he grabbed Max, Leslie, Joanna and his father and beamed up to the starbase when he got word that the Enterprise was on approach. When they got there, he had the station notify Jim that she and McCoy were needed at the airlock as soon as the ship docked.

"There it is," Joanna said, pointing out the viewport. Chris smiled at the young woman, she was right. The Enterprise dropped out warp, almost in front of them, and carefully moved to it's new home for the next few months, at least.

Max smirked, "I'm gonna fly like that, one day." Joanna nudged him and Max wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Chris noticed at the two didn't get too far from each other.

"I'm not telling her dad about that," he muttered. Charlie and Leslie both shook their heads, they weren't telling McCoy about whatever relationship was going on between the eighteen and almost-sixteen year old duo. Joanna was almost old enough to get married in the Fed, so maybe McCoy won't kill Jim's brother. Or maybe Jim will kill the kid herself. Who knows?

"No, Jim, they didn'," they all heard McCoy say as the doors slid open.

"Every time I think I'm done, they pull me…" she paused, "back. You're here."

"We thought we'd surprise you, Aunt Jim. Did it work?" Joanna asked.

Jim nodded as she pulled Joanna in her arms, "You have no idea, jelly bean." Chris was content to wait because, unlike everyone else, he's seen her in person every few months.

Joanna let Jim go and moved to hug her dad while Jim wrapped her not-so-little brother in her arms. Leslie wrapped his arms around them both. Luckily, Charlie snapped a holo because it was a picture perfect moment.

"Your mother says congratulations and welcome home. She's off planet," Leslie told her.

"I know. I talked to her. She said you got promoted," Jim smiled.

Jim and Winona reached a level of civility toward each other in the last year, they were even actively interacting with each other. It wasn't perfect it was something. The older of the Rice men chuckled, "Not yet. It'll be official in a few days. You'll be there, right?"

"Of course I will," she smiled. "I see you over there, Charlie." Jim let go of her brother and step-dad and hugged the other Pike.

"You look good, kiddo," his father said.

"Liar. I need about a week's worth of sleep. Bones, stop glaring at my brother. They wanted to tell you but you're just a tad bit nuts," she said. 

McCoy looked at her, "You knew they were together?"

"I know a lot of things," Jim said. "Like how you didn't tell Jo about your girlfriend… err fiancé."

Joanna looked at Jim with wide eyes, "Who?"

"Gaila," the captain answered and dared her friend to say something as she stepped into Chris' arms.

McCoy glared, "I should kick you."

"Good luck with that," Jim chuckled.

Chris ignored everyone else and held her against his chest, "Hi."

"Hi," she sighed. "I still have work to do."

"You want my help?" he asked.

Jim shook her head, "Nope. I want you go down to the shuttle bay and let the reporters see you wait like everyone else. You know they're waiting for that shot of me jumping into your arms."

"You wouldn't give them the satisfaction," he said.

She smirked, "Of course not, but they don't know that."

Chris smiled, "I guess I gotta let you get back to it. We'll see you guys in a little bit."

Jim gave him a quick kiss before she nodded, "Yes, sir, you will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those are the actual Khitomer Accords from Memory Alpha, mostly.


	20. Twenty

They managed to get four days to themselves at the cabin. Contrary to what he's sure will be popular opinion, Jim slept most of the time they were there. Chris understood why. On the ship, she was always the captain and other than getting sedated by McCoy, she never really got the chance to shut off. Add to that her sleeping issues and Jim was exhausted. Chris found himself acting as her pillow on more than one occasion and he didn't mind one bit. Now, they were back in San Fran for Leslie's promotion.

Chris was standing off to the side as the newly promoted Lieutenant Commander Tyler got everyone's attention, "Good morning, everyone. We're pleased that you could be here to recognize one of our own, Commander Leslie Rice, on the occasion of his promotion to the rank of Captain. Before we begin, we're honored to have his step-daughter, Captain James Kirk, and his son, Lieutenant Maxwell Rice with us. Vice Admiral Christopher Pike will officiate today's ceremony. Ladies, gentlemen and those of genders I can't readily identify, Admiral Pike."

Chris stepped up to the front of the room and smiled. "When I was invited to this thing, I didn't realize that I'd actually have to work," the admiral joked, earning a laugh from the group of officers that serve or served with Leslie, a few from the Enterprise and some of Max's friends. Chris smiled, "I'm not one for big speeches. So, I'll just say that I can't think of another officer who deserves this more. Congrats, Les."

The other man nodded, "Thank you, sir."

"Attention to orders," Chris called after Tyler handed him a PADD. Every officer in the room stood at attention. Chris continued, "The President of the United Federation of Planets, acting upon the recommendation of the Commander in Chief of Starfleet, has placed special trust and confidence in the patriotism, integrity and abilities of Commander Leslie Rice. In view of these special qualities, and his demonstrated potential to serve in the higher grade, Commander Rice is hereby promoted to the rank of Captain, Federation Starfleet, effective this day, stardate 2264.23, by order of the Commander in Chief of Starfleet."

The admiral handed the PADD back to Tyler and looked to Les' children, "Lieutenant Rice, would you please come forward and pin on Captain Rice's new rank?" He watched the young officer step over and add the forth pin to Les' left shoulder, followed by the right.

Chris glanced at Jim. People don't realize that her promotion had to be signed off on by a few people before it was official. They also don't realize that she had one of these ceremonies too, hers was just smaller and McCoy and Chris were the only people there to pin her insignia on her shoulders, she even knelt to his level so he wouldn't have to get out of the chair.

When Max stepped back, everyone applauded. Chris smiled, "Captain Kirk will now administer the oath of office." She smiled as she walked to him and her step-dad.

Jim stood in front of Les and raised her right hand, "Raise your hand and repeat after me." Les nodded and raised his hand. Jim took a breath, "I, state your full name…"

"I, Leslie Maxwell Emmanuel Rice…," Leslie said.

Jim smiled, "…having been appointed a Captain in the United Federation of Planets Starfleet do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United Federation of Planets against all enemies, foreign and domestic. That I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same. That I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office which I am about to enter. So help me, deity of your choice."

"So help me God," Leslie finished.

"Everyone, Captain Rice," Chris smiled.

Everybody in the room clapped and Les held up is hands, "Oh, stop." The whole group laughed. The new captain chuckled, "I'm not gonna make a big speech. I just want to say thank you for being here. For those of you who serve with my kids, there are no words for having both of them and all of you here, so thank you. And thank you Admiral for working during your leave."

"It was my pleasure, Les," Chris told the man.

Tyler smiled, "Okay, this concludes our ceremony, please come on up and offer your congratulations." Jim and Max got to Les first, wrapping the man in a big hug from both sides. Chris smiled when someone, he wasn't sure who, got holos of it. He knew that Jim promised her mother to send some to her.

The admiral did the customary meet and greet with everyone until Jim was standing in front of him, "Want to shake my hand and take a holo with me, Captain?"

She smiled, "There are about a million and three holos of us floating around, I think we're good."

"That's very true," he chuckled. "What's the plan?"

"Party merger. Since Cliff was dead-set on throwing a party, Dora changed the plan so now it's Les' promotion party and my return party. There are a lot of people in common so I only have to go to one. Yay." she told him.

Chris chuckled, "Sounds like a plan. You wanna get outta here?"

Jim nodded, "Let me say goodbye to the fam and I'm all yours."

* * *

"I thought you said you were all mine," Chris teased.

"I'm always yours," she chuckled. "I promised Bones I'd stop by, I gotta check on Jo and you know Gaila has a dress for me. It'll be easier to get dressed over there with my favorite Orion."

"Uh huh. What aren't you telling me?" he asked.

"Now, you should know better," she smiled.

"I do know better, sweetheart. I know that you have a bunch of stuff going at once. I know that you don't like letting Gaila dress you that much and I know you're hiding something," Chris whispered against her ear.

Jim pressed a kiss against his neck, "I don't tell you everything but I'm not exactly hiding anything."

"So if I asked you to tell me what's up, would you?" he asked.

"I suppose," she shrugged.

"Okay, what is so important that you're ready to run out of here and don't tell me it's the party?" Chris asked with a smile.

She sighed and looked up at him with her bright blue eyes, "I decided… I uh... I wanna tell you about Tarsus. I'm ready but it scares the crap outta me. I don't know how much I'd even manage but if I start talkin' right now, I won't be able to stop. So, I have to get out of here and distract myself long enough to get through the party."

Of all the things she could've said, that was the last thing Chris expected. "Are you gonna tell me after?"

"Do you want me too?" Jim asked. "I can wait until tomorrow."

"I want you to tell me but only if you want to tell me," he told her. "Besides, you won't sleep if you try to wait."

She rested her head against his chest, "I… It's way past time I told you the whole story. I just… if I didn't sleep the last few days away I probably could've done this back in Mojave."

"You didn't just sleep," he muttered.

Jim chuckled, "I was still in bed, so my point still stands."

Chris smiled, "True."

* * *

"… _'Cause love's such an old-fashioned word_ …" Jim, Sulu, Chekov and Max sang the old rock song. Apparently, Cliff set the place up for karaoke. Since Chekov was the only one who could actually sing, the others made up for their lack of musical talent by being goofy while they sang the song. "… _And love dares you to care for, the people on the edge of the night. And love dares you to change our way of, caring about ourselves. This is our last dance. This is our last dance. This is ourselves… Under pressure… Under pressure… Pressure_."

Everyone clapped and/or laughed at the group when they were finished. Sulu and Max handed over the microphones to Rand and some other officers that Chris didn't know. Jim made a beeline for him. He smiled, "Nice performance."

"Well, we all can't be you," she smiled. "I think I'm gonna stick to being your groupie from now on."

"Oh, I got myself a groupie. Finally, I'm a true musician," he quipped.

Spock looked at Jim, "I do not understand how a _groupie_ correlates to one's musical talent."

"I… Ask your wife," Jim chuckled. Spock and Uhura got married on the ship about a week after Khitomer. Chris wishes he could say he was surprised but that would be a lie. He honestly thought they would've gotten married sooner. The Vulcan excused himself to find Uhura.

"Look at that, I got you all to myself again," Jim smiled.

Chris chuckled, "Anytime, sweetheart. Nice dress."

"It's not the worst thing Gaila's ever dressed me in," she chuckled. "I can honestly say that I like this one." The dress was a dark turquoise with blue and gold flowers. It was short, but not too short, and fit Jim perfectly, it even made her eyes seem like they were glowing. She had matching gold shoes and jewelry.

He nodded, "Me too. Little brother inbound at your seven o'clock."

"Jim-inator! Hey, Chris… err, sir. How do you do that all the time, it's weird?" Max asked his sister.

"The use of rank is determined by the senior officer," she said, paraphrasing the regulation.

Max raised an eyebrow and Chris chuckled, "Jim hasn't had to use my rank since she was in the Academy unless there were other senior officers around. You can use the 'no uniform, no rank' rule with me. How you doin' kid?"

The youngest member of the Rice/Kirk family chuckled, "Well, Doc isn't trying to kill me, so I'm good. I need to borrow my sister for a couple minutes."

Jim gave Chris a wink before she let her brother pull her to the other side of Cliff's. Chris watched the siblings interact like they hadn't spent most of their lives or the last five years apart. Max had a protective hold around Jim's waist, even though she's the older and tougher of the pair. She looked at the kid with a softness in her features that used to be reserved for just Joanna. That look that told everyone around her much she loved the kid. And not to fuck with him unless you wanted to feel her wrath.

"Stop glaring at him, McCoy. They wanted to tell you in person," Chris told the doctor who sat down across from him.

McCoy snorted, "I'm not glaring any more than usual. He's not so bad. I hung out with him a little after his father's promotion ceremony, he's got some of Jim's better qualities. Her heart, her capacity for loyalty and love. To be honest, I'm more pissed at Jim and Jo." Chris actually knew why the southerner was so upset.

Joanna decided that she was joining Starfleet while the Enterprise was gone and did AcPrep before they got back. The teen starts classes in a few weeks, just in time for Jim and some of her officers to teach at the Academy. Jim knew all this but she didn't tell her best friend. Chris couldn't blame her for keeping it to herself, McCoy is cranky enough without finding out that his daughter wants to follow him to the stars. Or maybe he's upset that Jo is working to be an astrophysicist instead of a medical officer.

"Don't be mad at 'em. Jo asked Jim not to tell you, we all know how you'd react," Chris said to the other man.

"I just wish Jo asked for my opinion," McCoy sighed.

"Given how much you hate space, I'm pretty sure we'd all know what you'd say," the admiral chuckled.

The doctor shook his head, "Except you don't, not really anyway. I'm not thrilled about space, or Jo being out there, but I am proud of her. Starfleet has some of the best scientists in the universe and my daughter is on that level. Hell, Spock's impressed by her and that's nearly impossible."

"Spock's not as cold as he appears to most people but you're right, impressing him is next to impossible," Chris replied as he watched Jim, Max and Jo talking to Sulu, Chekov and Les.

He was so busy staring that he didn't even notice Gaila perched on McCoy's leg. She chuckled, "You got it bad."

Chris looked at the green officer, "So do you."

"True," Gaila smiled. "I have a million credit question for you, Admiral." Chris already knew what she was about to ask.

He sighed, "She doesn't want to get married. I would've asked already if she did."

McCoy shook his head, "That idiot kid. While it's true that Jim's not exactly the big dress, hearts and flowers type, she does want to get married. She says she doesn't but if you pay attention now that we're back, you'll see it. Commitment scares her. For most of her life the people she cared about either left her or died. We, all of us in general, you and me specifically, are the first people in her life who refuse to leave her. I hate space but I went because that's where she was. You hate politicians and conferences but you logged a lot of hours dealing with both of those in the last few years just to spend a couple days on the same ship as her. I know she's ready to tell you about Tarsus. Once she does, you gotta show her that you're not going anywhere. Give her a little time than bring up getting married again, she'll be more receptive to the idea once you know everything. Trust me."

* * *

"Tarsus was… For the first time in my life I thought maybe, just maybe I could find happiness or peace or normal. Nothing in my life had ever been normal. Uncle Jim was good just making me feel at home. That's what Tarsus became to me, home. It took me about a month to get comfortable, that realization that I could be happy and play and study cool stuff just hit me one day. When I told Uncle Jim, he just smiled and nodded. Told me that I should never be afraid of being myself," she gave him a small smile.

"I got into a groove after that. I would go to classes with the older kids. Hang out in the lab and watch some of the experiments that they were doing. My favorite was getting to help in the shuttle bay. I got to work on a lot of the stuff that came through there because that's where Uncle Jim worked. Once he figured out that I took after my mother, he'd teach me stuff about whatever craft he was working on. One day, he asked me to take gear he borrowed to the lady next door. I knocked on the door expecting someone his age, so imagine my surprise when Hoshi Sato opened the door and invited me in. I can't even begin to describe that woman, there aren't enough words in any language," Jim paused. Chris reached over from his spot next to her on the couch.

She smiled, "I spotted this old picture, an actual picture, of her with Archer, T'Pol, Reed, Tucker, Phlox, and Mayweather posing around on the NX-01's bridge. I knew who she was instantly and she chuckled when my eyes went wide. I asked her the first thing I could think of, 'What does Denobulan sound like?' Well, she said a phrase in her friend's native language and I fell in love with it. She told me that she was teaching some of the kids Vulcan and she was more than happy to teach me anything I wanted to learn as long as it was something she knew. So, she did. A couple basic languages, a bit of computer programming, some close-quarters combat, she even taught me how to take a phase rifle apart and put it back together again. It was a good thing too because about three months before the massacre, Tommy noticed that there was a problem with the crops. He couldn't figure out what it was, so he took the problem to his dad, who worked in agro," she whispered the last part.

"I remember the Leightons spending weeks going over that data. Once they figured out that the problem wasn't going to fix itself, they went to Kodos. Those of us who knew were dumb enough to think that the governor of our colony would understand… we thought he would call Starfleet for help. Man, were we wrong," Jim sighed.

"The only thing that I can think of was Nazi Germany. One minute, we're all normal citizens, then we're ranked. Keep and kill. Hoshi knew that we were in trouble towards the end. She pulled me and Tommy into her house one day and laid out a bunch of clear instructions and a crash course in wilderness survival. I stopped by the next day to check on her. I barely asked her anything when she shoved a pack into my arms and made me hide in the crawlspace under her floors. I had my hand over my mouth trying not to scream as the men dragged her and her husband out to the barren garden and executed them," she shook her head as if she was trying to erase the memory.

"Jim, we don't have to…" Chris whispered.

She looked at him and sighed, "As soon as I realized they were gone, I went home. I found Tommy at my house with my uncle. He was alive long enough to tell me he loved me before he was gone. The next part is the only thing the history books got right. Kodos ordering four thousand deaths, me and Tommy pulling kids out of the courtyard, and the enforcers opening fire. There was this cave system outside of the main colony. Nobody but us kids went out there, so that's where we went. It had water and it was defensible. I killed my first person a week later."

She took a steadying breath, "He was raping this girl, she wasn't much older than me. I slit his throat. I tried to help her but she was too far gone. I ended up having to put her out of her misery. It's funny, what people become when it all goes to hell. I paid for food with my virginity at one point, I'm not proud of it but it was just one of those things… at least the man was nice about it and kept his word. When all was said and done, I lost six of the kids and I killed twenty-one people, three of them out of mercy and the rest in defense of myself or others, before Starfleet showed up. A regularly scheduled cargo ship couldn't get through to anyone on the surface and comm'd the fleet for help. The Enterprise showed up a few days later. I still remember every single face of every person that died under my care or by my hand. They haunt me… I'm sure they always will."

Chris didn't know what to say and he told her as much. Jim smiled, "I know, it's a bit much. Half of it's not even in the classified version of my file. Marcus kept a lot of what I told him to himself and I am insanely grateful for that. I um… I need some air, so I'm gonna go for a walk."

He nodded, "You want me to come with?"

"No. I just need a little time to myself," Jim whispered. She kissed his cheek, pulled on her boots over the jeans she changed into and walked out of the apartment.

'I'm a monster.' He remembers her saying the words to him but now he had context. She thinks that what she did to survive made her a horrible person, the truth was that she was far from being a monster. Jim gave up so much of herself to save everyone she could save. He was proud of her. Just as proud as he was when she saved the world from Nero and killed Harrison. If she thinks that knowing about Tarsus is gonna send him running for cover, she has another thing coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made myself a little teary-eyed. The song they were singing at the club is Under Pressure by Queen and Bowie.


	21. Twenty-One

"Who did you kill that has you feeling so much guilt?" Chris asked as soon as she walked into the apartment. Judging by the look on her face, Jim wasn't surprised by the fact that he figured out that there was something she left out of her story.

"How do you know it was someone I killed? Maybe it was someone I… someone I didn't… couldn't kill," she said.

Realization dawned on Chris, "You had the chance to kill Kodos and you didn't do it?" She nodded. Now, they were getting somewhere.

"I knew him a bit, that's why I thought he'd do the right thing. He was fleet, looked after me about as much as Hoshi did. Thaddeus taught me a lot of things, like how to fight… the irony of that fact is not lost on me. I got captured two weeks in. His enforcers had orders not to kill me, they dragged me to him instead. He tried to turn me to his cause… Tried to make me see it from his point of view. Then, he gave me the option to leave. I was no further from him than you are to me right now, I was armed and I couldn't do it. I pointed the phaser at his head but I couldn't kill him. I told him to leave my kids alone and I walked out. All those people dead and I couldn't kill him… I… the people that died after that were on me. I killed a little boy in pain and a rape victim and an old lady… but I couldn't kill him." Jim's voice dropped into a whisper, "I let him live and he killed so many people after that. I could've ended all that suffering and I was too weak to do it. All that blood is on my hands and I'll never be able to wash it off."

Chris crossed the room in two strides and wrapped his arms around her, not caring one bit that her tears soaked through his shirt. Now, he gets it. The guilt, the regret and the self-loathing wasn't about what she did on Tarsus, it was about what she couldn't do. Kodos' daughter killing most of the Tarsus Nine probably added to those feelings.

"It's not weakness, Jim. Pulling the trigger was the easy option, walking away was harder and you know it. What happened on that planet was not your fault. You were thirteen years old surrounded by some of the worst in humanity and you managed to keep yours. You couldn't kill a man in cold blood, that's exactly what it would've been if you shot him. There is nothing wrong with what you did on that planet, sweetheart. Nothing at all," he told her.

Jim didn't say anything, she just held onto him like her life depended on it and in a way, it did.

* * *

"Hi," Jim whispered, her voice raspy.

He gave her a small smile, "Hi."

She pushed herself up on her elbow and looked at him, "You're still here." Other than the second it took to take her boots off, Chris hadn't let go of her all night. He moved them to the bedroom at one point and when Jim cried herself to sleep, he just held her against his chest and watched her sleep.

Chris chuckled, "I told you I wasn't going anywhere. I don't mean that any less than I did before. Hell, I actually mean it more now than I did before. I'm. Not. Going. Anywhere."

"You keep saying that to me," she whispered.

"I will say it every day until it sinks in if I have to."

Jim sighed, "I must've done something right in a past life."

"I'm sure you did," Chris smiled. "Though, I think you've done pretty good with this life, so far."

"You don't mean that, Chris," Jim said as she pushed herself up and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Yes, I do. You have yourself convinced that you're a monster but you're not. You care. The fact that not killing a man like Kodos haunts you and the guilt you feel over the lives you couldn't save is proof that you're not a monster. A monster wouldn't care." He moved off the bed and knelt in front of her, "You're not a monster, Jim."

"Yes, I am," she whispered.

He shook his head, "You are not a monster. You're brave and smart. Beautiful and caring and loyal. You love and you hurt and you cry. You fight for people who can't fight for themselves. You give everything you have to help others. You a great many things, James, but you are not a monster."

"I…" Jim started before she closed the small gap between them and pressed her lips against his. He could taste the salt from the tears she cried the night before on her lips.

The very logical part of his brain knew that he should probably stop this before it went too far. The realist in him knew that Jim needed the closeness, the connection, the comfort. She needed to know that he didn't see her any differently. The words weren't enough to his own ears, there's no way they were be enough for hers.

He stood up from where he knelt without breaking the kiss. Jim's hands moved to undo the buttons on his shirt. Chris let her push the garment over his shoulders and to the floor. He closed his eyes as she ran her trembling hands over his skin, down his chest and to his waistband. Jim unbuckled his jeans and Chris kicked them off before taking both her hands in his and kissing her knuckles.

"Look at me," he whispered. When she looked up, Chris smiled, "Hi."

Despite the emotions he saw swirling in her eyes, she smiled back, "Hi."

"May I?" Jim nodded. Chris slid his hands under her t-shirt and pushed it over her head. He unhooked her bra and pulled it off, it was quickly followed by her jeans and underwear. She brought their lips together again as they pulled themselves onto the bed. "I love you," he whispered against her lips, "I love you so much it's fucking stupid. You know that?"

Jim chuckled, "Yea, I do. I love you too."

"I know," he smiled. Her hands slowly roamed his body, gliding up his spine and burying in his hair, he closed his eyes at the sensation. Chris gazed into those inviting blue eyes that shone in the morning sunlight as he brought their bodies together.

Jim moaned into his mouth as they began to move together. Her legs wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer. He lost himself in this moment with her, shutting everything out and just focusing on the woman in his arms. She looked up at him as the realization dawned on her that he really wasn't going anywhere. Her whole body trembled under him, she was overwhelmed with so many emotions.

"I got you, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere, I promise," he whispered. Chris wasn't surprised when the tears spilled over and rolled down her cheeks, he just kissed them away.

"Chris," Jim half-whispered, half-moaned as her orgasm started to pull her under. Her body tightened around him and she pressed her lips against his. Jim shook in his arms as Chris changed the angle of his movements, pushing her over that cliff. She pulled him impossibly closer and it didn't take much for him to follow her over his own ledge.

Chris peppered kisses all over her face and, just like she always does, she giggled. "What am I gonna do with you?" Jim asked.

He chuckled, "Anything you want, sweetheart."

"Why do you love me so much?" she smiled.

Chris chuckled, "How could I not? You're amazing and I can admit that I was always a little in love with you. Of course I wouldn't admit it until we were in the shuttle bay before I went to the Narada."

_"Without transporters, we can't beam off the ship, we can't assist Vulcan, we can't do our job. Miss Kirk, Mister Sulu, Engineer Olson, will space-jump from the shuttle. You will land on that machine they lowered into the atmosphere that's scrambling our gear. You'll get inside. You'll disable it, then you'll beam back to the ship. Mister Spock, I'm leaving you in command of the Enterprise. Once we have transport capabilities, communications back up, you'll contact Starfleet, report what the hell's going on here. And if all else fails, fall back, rendezvous with the fleet in the Laurentian system. Kirk, I'm promoting you to first officer," Chris said._

_"What?" she asked. The look on her beautiful face was priceless. Chris knew he'd have to answer for it later but Jim was the only person qualified enough to leave in a command position. If Spock didn't outrank the crap out of her, Chris would leave her with the chair. As it was, the Vulcan wasn't happy with his decision._

_"Captain, please, I apologize. The complexities of Human pranks escape me," Spock said._

_Chris chuckled, "It's not a prank, Spock. And I'm not the Captain, you are."_

_"Sir, after we knock out that drill, what happens to you?" Jim asked._

_He smirked, "Oh, I guess you'll have to come and get me. Careful with the ship, Spock. She's brand new."_

_The door to the turbolift closed. It took all but two seconds for Jim to look at him, "Seriously, Chris, what happens to you? Nero has no qualms about killing Starfleet captains, that's how my father ended up in command of the Kelvin and you know it."_

_"I do know that," he said as they stepped off the lift and met Olsen near a gear locker. The three officer team was gonna need EV suits for the jump. Chris sighed, "I also know that he'll kill every single one of us if I don't go over there." To anyone looking at it from the outside, he's going over there to save his crew. Unfortunately, Jim could see through him._

_"I don't need you to protect me," she muttered under her breath._

_"I know. Won't stop me from trying, kid," he said before he looked around, "You have to stop Nero. Forget about me. There are billions of lives at stake and Nero is worried about Spock when he should be worried about you, use that to your advantage."_

_"Don't die on me," she whispered before locking her hypnotic blue eyes with his gray. He saw the plea for what it was, she didn't want to lose him. 'I love you too much to die on you,' he thought to himself but he wasn't brave enough to tell her._

_Chris settled for a small smile and nodded, "I'll do my best. Come on."_

_Getting the shuttle out of the bay was the simple part. Knowing that he was probably gonna die, not so much. He could hear the team in the back of the shuttle talking to each other. "Pre-jump," he called. Jim, Sulu and Olsen donned their helmets. "Lady and Gentlemen, we're approaching the drop zone. You have one shot to land on that platform. You may meet resistance, so pull your 'chute as late as possible. Remember, the Enterprise won't be able to beam you back until you turn off that drill," he said. Chris' eyes settled on Jim, who was looking at him. Chris took a breath, "Good luck." He pulled the lever, sending the three officers, including the woman he loves, shooting towards Vulcan._

"I did come for you," she said with a smile.

Chris chuckled, "Yes, you did. I am grateful."

Jim chuckled, "Don't be. It was selfish. I… needed… I needed you to be okay. Even though I couldn't admit that back then."

He smiled, "You weren't the only one, sweetheart."

* * *

There was still something that bothered Chris about the whole Kodos thing. Even how the man died, taking a phaser blast for Jim, struck the admiral as odd. Chris sat at the console in his office and decided to run a search for Kodos' service record, something he should've done when Marcus told him that Kodos was Fleet.

 _PCAP_  
_FLEETRECS_  
 _Personnel File_

 _Full Name: Kodos, Thaddeus Peter_  
_Known Aliases: Kodos the Executioner, Anton Karidian_  
 _Service Number: KH128-0409JVD_  
 _Species: Human_  
 _Rank: Lieutenant Commander_  
 _Specialty: Engineering_  
 _Date of Birth: 2203.33 (February 2, 2203)_  
 _Date of Death: 2259.362 (December 28, 2259)_  
 _Birthplace: Lancaster, Pennsylvania, United States of America, Earth_  
 _Father: Kodos, Peter Philip_  
 _Mother: Kodos (nee Hall), Sandra Marie_  
 _Marital Status: Single_  
 _Children: Kodos, Lenore (DOB 2238.77)_

 _Retirement Affective: 2238.235 (August 23, 2238)_  
_Assignments:_  
_USS Berlin, Chief Engineering officer, 2234.8-2238.235_  
_USS Holt, Senior Engineering officer, 2232.115-2234.4_  
_USS Ticonderoga, Engineering officer, 2229.220-2232.101_  
_Starfleet Academy Class of 2229_

Chris stopped reading. There was something about this that seemed… familiar. He punched in Winona's information.

 _PCAP_  
_FLEETRECS_  
 _Personnel File_

 _Full Name: Rice, Winona Karen_  
Known Aliases: Winona Karen Davis (Birth Name), Winona Karen Kirk  
_Service Number: AB487-9011WGL_  
 _Species: Human_  
 _Rank: Commander_  
 _Specialty: Engineering_  
 _Date of Birth: 2209.247 (September 4, 2209)_  
 _Birthplace: Sioux City, Iowa, United States of America, Earth_  
 _Father: Davis, James Francis_  
 _Mother: Mansfield, Judith Teresa_  
 _Siblings: Davis, Francis Timothy_  
 _Marital Status: Married_  
 _Spouse: Captain Rice, Leslie Maxwell Emmanuel (2244.41- Current); Lieutenant Commander Kirk, George Samuel- Deceased (2229.168 – 2233.4)_  
 _Children: Doctor Kirk, George Samuel (DOB 2230.224 - DOD 2258.82); Captain Kirk, James Tiara (DOB 2233.4); -Name Redacted- (DOB 2238.77); Lieutenant Rice, Maxwell James (DOB 2246.123)_

 _Assignments:_  
_USS Bradbury, Chief Engineering officer, 2252.39- Current_  
_Starfleet Academy, Engineering instructor, 2250.22-2252.18_  
_USS Lake, Chief Engineering officer, 2242.196-2250.12_  
_USS Berlin, Chief Engineering officer, 2238.234-2242.98_  
_USS Berlin, Senior Engineering officer, 2234.352-2238.233_  
_San Francisco Shipyard-Riverside Annex, Engineering officer 2233.49-2234.312_  
_USS Kelvin, Engineering officer, 2231.25-2233.4_  
_USS Winston, Engineering officer, 2229.219-2231.11_  
_Starfleet Academy Class of 2229_

"Well, fuck me," Chris muttered.

* * *

"You need to see something," Chris said as soon as he walked into his apartment. Jim and Max looked up at him from where they were talking on the couch.

Max looked between the two officers, "Should I go?"

The admiral shook his head, "No, this is classified but you both need to see it. Read this." Chris handed Jim two PADDs, one had her mother's file on it and the other had Kodos'.

It took Jim about fifteen seconds to see what he saw, "Son of a bitch. That means… What the chances…? Oh my God."

"That means that… You think this Lenore chick's our sister?" Max asked.

Chris nodded and looked at Jim, "Yea."

The lieutenant looked at his sister, "You know her?"

"She killed my friends, tried to kill me… her father got between us when she shot at me. She's in a penal colony," she told her brother.

"So… mom knew where you were the whole time?" Max asked.

Jim looked at her brother, "I think it's more than that."

"I went through some of the old records," Chris told her. "Your Uncle Jim wasn't supposed to go to Tarsus, he was given an offer that was too good to pass up. A few months later, you end up living with him and Kodos keeping an eye on you. You said he was always watching you, maybe that's why. As crazy as it sounds, I think Kodos actually cared about you."

"That's why he looked after me and taught me stuff… even kept his enforcers away from me. Why he wouldn't let Lenore kill me… he knew I was her sister. There is no way that Winona didn't know any of this," Jim said.

Max sighed, "You think she knew where he was hiding?"

Jim sighed, "This is gonna kill Les."

"You don't seem that surprised," Chris said to Jim.

"It's not what I was expecting but I never believed that Winona didn't know where I was growing up," she told him. "The press knew how to find me, my movements were easy to track back then. She lies to me every time I talk to her… like she knows I don't believe her but she's locked into the lie. I also don't get this version of her file when I look it up, my clearance isn't as high as yours and I would never ask you to look."

"I would've," he told her.

She smiled, "That's exactly why I didn't ask."

Max ran his hands through his hair, "This is… I need a drink."

Jim sighed, "Me too."

Chris looked the pair, "Two stiff drinks coming up."

* * *

"Lenore Kodos," Jim said to her mother.

The other woman's eyes widened before she schooled her features, "Who's that?"

Max shook his head, "Really? You really want to play this game with us?"

"Max. Calm down," Jim said, reaching over to touch his hand. The lieutenant nodded at his sister's words. Leslie didn't say anything, not that Chris expected him to.

"How did Kodos get the Virogen?" Marcus asked. Winona couldn't even hide her reaction this time.

"How did you…?" the commander started before she caught herself.

Jim took a deep breath, "You always knew what he was gonna do. So, you put me on that planet. You gave me to Kodos. You thought I'd die along with everyone else. But he couldn't kill your child, no matter how much you despise me, he couldn't do it. I'm his daughter's sister, he couldn't hurt me any more than I could hurt Max."

"You weren't trying to protect me from Jim, you were protecting yourself. You could've stopped him, you could've saved all those people. Jim's been carrying around that guilt for almost two decades but you're the one who could've saved those people. You could've saved George's brother and Hoshi Sato and…" Max shook his head.

"S.I. wants to talk to you. Lenore does too. We ran our DNA yesterday, she knows. You know, I thought a lot about my time on Tarsus and I realized something after talking to my sister… oh, that's weird. She reminded me that Thaddeus didn't take interest in any of the other kids like he did me. I thought it was something perverted, now I realize that he was probably the closest thing I had to dad growing up. Maybe that's why what he did on Tarsus bothered me so much and why his death hit me so hard. He cared about me. So, thank you for that," Jim said to Winona before she walked out of Marcus' office.

"Don't ever talk to me again," Max said before he followed his sister.

Les took a breath, "I was willing to overlook you thinking Jim was dead, but that you actively tried to have her killed… I can't ignore that. She may only be related to me because of you but she is still my kid. You tried to kill her. I'm done. The forms have already been drawn up. Sign them, don't, it doesn't matter. JAG will process them as long as the admiral signs off on it."

Chris' heart broke for the man. Leslie walked out of the office to catch up with his kids just as the officers from S.I. entered with Marcus' yeoman. "Guess you're wishing you didn't come to me looking for Jim," Chris said.

Winona looked at him, "You did this."

He shook his head, "No, you did this. The truth always comes out. It's about time that Jim finally gets her peace. And Max and Les finally know who they've been living with all these years. I didn't do anything but give Jim a safe place to fall. It's what you do when you love someone."


	22. Twenty-Two

"I figured that you'd be out here," Chris said to Jim as he took a seat next to her at the Kelvin Memorial Wall. Jim went for her run but when she was gone for a little over two hours, Chris knew that she went to the wall.

She offered him a small smile, "Yep. You know, I used to hate him for dying. Felt like my whole life was fucked up because of what he did. Now, I'm just glad he didn't have to spend his life with Winona. I don't know if she was like this before he died or not but the idea of my father, who was by all accounts selfless and honorable, spending his life with her makes my blood boil. Any word on what's gonna happen to her?"

"S.I. got all the info she was willing to give. I don't know the details and I really don't want to. She tried to have you killed and that's more information than I need. As far as the public is concerned, she's retiring off planet. I have no idea where S.I. put her. Marcus knows," he told her.

Jim chuckled, "Marcus knows everything."

Chris smiled, "True. Though, that is the man's job. You've been a bit quiet about all this. How do you feel?"

She sighed and looked at the memorial, "She wasn't really my mother, so I'm not too broken up about it. To let it bother me would just be giving her power over me and I refuse to do that. I came to terms with her not wanting me years ago. It was never that I wasn't good enough, she's the one that's not good enough. My problem is with what she did to Max, Les and even Lenore. I mean, Lenore never had a chance. Winona just gave her to her father… like a fuckin' retirement present or some bullshit. Les cried like a fuckin' baby when the reality of it set in. Max... he won't talk to anyone but Jo and Sulu."

"You know you can talk to me," he said.

Jim nodded, "I know. I'm okay, really. I'm glad that I finally know the truth. I can finally let it go and get on with my life."

The admiral raised an eyebrow, "Meaning?"

She sighed, "Meaning I can finally stop waiting for my mother to stab me in the back. I'm convinced she would've murdered me in my sleep if she had the chance."

"She'd have to get through me and I'm tougher to kill than you are," he said.

Jim chuckled, "So, that's what you tell yourself. That's cute."

Chris smiled, "Stick around, I got plenty."

She nodded, "Five years' worth… at least."

"Or a lifetime," he muttered. Jim looked at him for a long minute but, unlike any other time he's brought up the subject of being together forever or getting married, she didn't say anything and turned her attention back to the memorial. 'Help me out here, George,' he thought.

* * *

"What do we have here?" Chris asked as he leaned against the bathroom's door frame.

Jim smiled, "I don't know what you're talking about."

She was leaning over the vanity, applying eyeliner, in the sexiest set of lingerie he had ever seen. It was lace in a shade of blue that was a little darker than her eyes, accentuating her already beautiful body. He sighed as he stepped behind her, "I think you know."

"Nope. I'm just trying to get dressed. You might want to go change, we have to leave in forty minutes," she said with a smirk as she finished applying her makeup.

He pressed a kiss against her shoulder, "You're not gonna tell me where we're going, are you?"

Jim shrugged, "That defeats the purpose of a surprise, Chris."

"What if I don't want the surprise? What if I want to stay here and have my way with you?" he asked, resting his hands on her hips and watching her reaction in the mirror. Jim's eyes fluttered closed and she took a deep breath.

"Trust me, you want this surprise. You can have your way with me when we get back," she said just above a whisper.

He chuckled, "I'm gonna hold you to that, sweetheart."

Chris was amused as he tried to figure out what Jim was up to. Getting dressed in the suit laid out for him only added to his mounting clues. Wherever they were going, it was nice enough that they were both dressing up. When he walked into the living room, Jim was waiting for him in a white dress with a large blue flower print. He sighed, "You're trying to kill me."

"It'll be worth it. You ready?" she asked.

Chris nodded, "I wish I knew where we were going."

Jim smiled, "Dinner first. Then… something else."

He gave her a look, "Cryptic."

His girl chuckled, "The thing about an extended tour is that I've had years to plan a whole bunch of stuff. Come on."

He couldn't remember the last time that someone took him out on a date. Granted, Jim's been off planet for most of the last five years but he still couldn't think of a time where he was the one who didn't plan the date. Chris told Jim as much and she laughed. He was informed that that was going to change now that she's home and he couldn't wait.

"James Tiara Kirk, what did you do?" Chris asked as he and Jim walked into the San Francisco Jazz Center. The center was built, destroyed and rebuilt twice in the last three hundred years but music never died.

She chuckled, "I didn't do anything but get us tickets. I take it you approve?"

He looked at her, "Are you kidding? We're going to see Stan Pratt. The Stan Pratt, as in my favorite jazz musician. Of course I approve." Jim burst into laughter and Chris gave her a look.

"I'm sorry I don't mean to laugh at you. It's just… you remind me of a little kid at Christmas right now. It's adorable, which is something I would never equate with you. Handsome, sexy, even dashing but not adorable. I like it," Jim told him.

Chris chuckled, "I will remember that. Thank you, sweetheart."

"You are very welcome. Wanna get a drink before the show starts?" she asked.

He nodded, "Yea. I'm definitely having my way with you when we get home."

Jim smiled, "Like that was ever in question."

* * *

"So, I figured something out about… halfway through the concert. You, my love, are up to something," Chris said when they walked into the apartment.

Jim smirked, "Hmm. Am I?"

He nodded, "You are. Not that you taking me out is too much of a surprise. You haven't been able to but it's well within your character. The thing is that we had pretty good seats at that concert. Went to my favorite restaurant for dinner. You're wearing my favorite color on and under that dress. So, the question is; what are you up to?"

"That's an interesting theory. You're completely right, I am up to something. Have a seat," she told him. Chris did as she asked and sat on the couch while Jim sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of him.

"Should I be worried?" he asked.

"No. There's just been a lot of things on my mind since the whole mess with my mom. And… um… you've been a big part of all the stuff rattling around in my brain. I have to get this out, so just let me," she took a deep breath and reached over to hold his hands. "I… I remember the day we met with vivid clarity. I never told you about how I spent the rest of that night sitting on my motorcycle and staring at the Enterprise. I promised myself that I was gonna stand on the bridge of the ship. And I did. And now I'm her captain. And for a while, that was enough. I didn't realize until after this whole thing with Winona that it wasn't."

He was curious as to where she was going with this. Chris gave her hands a squeeze and let her continue. Jim sighed, "It's funny when you spend your whole life looking after yourself how obvious it is when someone else starts looking out for you. Even more obvious when that person doesn't care what happens to them as long as you're okay. I used to think to think that people like that were stupid. Now I realize that it's what you do for people you love. I made a comment a while ago about not owning you but that wasn't true. Because I do… own you. Just like you own me, heart, body and soul. I would… I tried… I'm messing this up."

"Take your time," he told her.

She smiled, "I'm good, I got this. I… I love you. And I was wondering… Chris, will you marry me?"

He wasn't sure he heard that right. Chris stared at her, "Can you say that again?"

"I love you," Jim smiled. "Will you marry me?"

"That's what I thought you said. Yes, I will marry you," he said before he stood up and pulled her into his arms. Their lips met in a soft, passionate kiss.

Chris pulled away and looked at her, "Took you long enough."

She chuckled, "Thank you for letting me figure myself out."

He smiled, "Anytime. I guess I should get you a ring."

"Charlie said to stop by when you get a chance, he has a ring for you… well, me," she said like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Chris raised an eyebrow, "You talked to Charlie?"

Jim nodded, "Of course I did. Talked to Les too. They both want to know what your answer is."

He wrapped his arm around her waist, "Comm 'em later. I got a fiancée to devour."

* * *

"Try the combination, Hastings. Nice cross, Richter," Jim said as she walked through the group of cadets she had in the intermediate hand-to-hand combat course. The Andorian kid in front of her dropped his partner on the deck. Jim smiled, "Effective combination, Sheon. Not bad." Chris looked over the group and he could easily spot those destined for the advanced class. Judging by her face, so could Jim.

"You were looking at his hands when you should have been watching his eyes," she told a big cadet that got knocked on his ass. "Just because you're bigger doesn't automatically mean you have the advantage. My chief of security will be covering this class for me next week. Ask him about the bar fight when he and three of his buddies got their asses kicked by a five foot eight, hundred and ten pound girl. The admiral was there. It was epic, wasn't it, sir?"

"You had blood running down your face, Kirk," he reminded her.

She chuckled, "Well, my nose _was_ broken. I still won the fight." Chris chuckled and looked at the cadet who just pushed himself up.

"That's true. All four men were about the same size as you, cadet, she still took 'em down. They thought that because she was small and outnumbered that they'd beat her. They didn't account for the fact that the pretty blonde girl at the bar is an expert at close-quarters combat. When you get out in the black, you cannot assume that you automatically have the advantage because most of the time you won't," Chris told the kid.

"We're gonna end the day with that. I will see you all next Monday. Don't give Lieutenant Commander Hendorff any trouble next week or I'll kick your asses," Jim told the group. The Admiral and the Captain watched as the cadets hit the locker room.

Chris smiled, "You're recruiting. He's on your list."

She nodded, "Santiago. His tactical aptitude is off the charts, he's just a little rough around the edges. I'm trying to get him where he needs to be so I can recommend him for Advanced Tactical Training with Sheon."

"Ah," he said.

Jim raised an eyebrow, "What's the 'ah' for?"

Chris shrugged, "Just a word."

She put her hands on her hips, "No. It's more like a sound. Spill… Admiral."

He chuckled, "I'm just remembering when you got recommended for ATT."

Jim smiled, "Please tell me it wasn't you."

The admiral shrugged, "Wasn't me. It was Richard."

_"Tell me about Kirk," his friend said as he dropped into the seat next to him._

_Chris chuckled, "You have access to more of her file then I do. I doubt I could tell you anything you don't already know."_

_The tall admiral sighed, "You recruited her. You're her advisor. Tell me stuff that's not in her file."_

_Chris shook his head, "There aren't enough words for that. Narrow it down."_

_"If you only had one sentence about Kirk what would it be?" his friend asked him._

_The captain thought about it for a minute and smiled, "Jim Kirk is a brilliant survivor who fights for people who can't fight for themselves. Why?"_

_Richard smiled, "Baxter is falling all over himself over her survival strategies tests. And there's real talk about changing the tactical analysis course, largely due to her grade. Archer saw her scores. He hasn't seen scores like that ever and he's been fleet since before the Federation was founded. I got no choice but to recommend her for ATT. Wanted your opinion first."_

_"I think she'll succeed at anything she puts her mind to… which is everything she does. She doesn't like being compared to her father, but she also doesn't want to do anything he couldn't be proud of. If you put her up for ATT, I have no doubt that she'll get her rating with flying colors," Chris said._

_Richard smiled, "That's what I needed to hear."_

"I should've known. I thought it was either you or Commander Baxter," Jim said.

Chris chuckled, "If it was me, I would've told you. Baxter was gonna put you up for it but Richard beat him to the punch. We weren't wrong, your team's score for the Tanaka Station final is still the record. You think this kid has what it takes for ATT?"

Jim nodded, "He reminds me of me right before we met. He's got the brains and potential but he doesn't have the focus. Yet."

"You'll get him there," Chris told her.

She smiled, "Of course I will. I had a good teacher."

He smiled, "So, you ready to get married tomorrow?"

Jim nodded, "Yea, I'm ready. Are you?"

The admiral smirked, "I've been ready. Just had to wait for you to catch up."


End file.
